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Something’s not right

-Enigma-

-Enigma-

I have given up now - no one can say it was not without a fight. But then no one on heaven and earth would give a damn anyway. I gave from the heart and it was a joy to help others. I felt such peace with that. I never did it for anything in return ever, I did it because I truly cared and felt so much genuine compassion towards others. I was promised dreams and peace would come true even though I never asked. It felt so good to know I made someone's lives a bit better.

Why is it that people like me are then faced with so much heartache, injustice, trauma and adversity that seeks to do everything in its power to destroy that good, to take the little good and peace I had, to utterly destroy me. Why?

I had always been there when possible others times of need - now that I truly need someone I have been all but abandoned by those I knew and those in the spirit. I realise now everything was a lie and feel utterless helpless and lost. I have lost everything and don't see the point in being here. I hope I don't wake up to another day of despair.

1732 replies

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In response to: -Enigma-

Re: Over The Edge

Well @Former-Member @Owlunar It seems I'm the slob here, I wear black leggings and oversized tops!!!!!! I hate clothes and only shop online. You two sound like my friend, she's just amaZing,always matching, where I dont care, I just like to be clean and comfortable. I've gone to the men's section in the past @Owlunar, much cheaper.

@Former-Member Your day sounds like it went well yesterday. It must be hard waiting for it to happen. At least it will be your last move, your forever home. Sorry about the restless sleep. I hope your daughters cough improves.

I'm cross stitching at the moment, I'm trying to get this finished. Cleaned most of the morning. I had a mouse and he left droppings, yuk. I caught him in a humain catcher then let him go out side.

0 degrees here again this morning, Friday is going to be -2 , so it's still cold down this way. More storms this afternoon.

I hope you rest up today @Former-Member regain some strength.

@Owlunar Are you baking today????

In response to: -Enigma-

Re: Over The Edge

Just doing a fly-by hello @Former-Member @Maggie @Owlunar ..... not ignoring y'all, have just got new dramas popping up on our horizon. I mentioned it on Hot Chocolate Anyone, but I am still reeling a bit. Hope it's okay for you to swing past there to pick up the thread of it if you want to ....

I'm Latin a bit low for a while, but just wanted you to know that I am staying in touch with your news, and thinking of you.

💜

In response to: Re: Over The Edge

Re: Over The Edge

Hi @Maggie

I haunt the men's wear - I have broad shoulders and how easy it is to split the seams in ladies' shirts - it has happened over and over - I like to be clean and neat but not that fussy - just don't like fussy styles

And I think I will bake again today - I got some white chocolate melts yesterday and ate some of them last night - I had better cook them - and I ran out of cookies so yes - time to bake again

And @Faith-and-Hope - you do have some adventures - I wonder how WH would be without you - and your Baby Dragons - oh wow - you life is a bit like Alice in Wonderland

Also @Former-Member - I am thinking of you too - how great to move into your own home - and I hope you are okay after a broken night

Dec

In response to: -Enigma-

Re: Over The Edge

Hi @Owlunar

It was interesting to read everyone's post here on their taste in clothes. I like polo neck tops too - if I may be frank I have trouble in the chest department (too big) with them and men's t-shirts. I have tried them in the past because I like it how I can get my favourite colours in them where that is harder with women's clothes. And yes, they are a lot more reasonably priced. You sound like a no fuss practical person @Owlunar which makes life easier. I love colour in my clothes. Living near the coast I tend to for tops with a kaleidoscope of colours. It's always uplifts me. I will add a few pics below. Your cooking endeavours was making me hungry @Owlunar - I don't like cooking but will do so for health and to make hubby happy. I am making a banana cake shortly - simple ingredients with less sugar. It will be nice with tea or ☕️

@Maggie - glad to read that you picked up your cross stitch again - I did some work on mine for the first time in awhile. It picked up my spirits immediately. Feels good to be back to normal if just a little. Surprisingly too as I didn't get much sleep and normally I get too tired, but I feel better this evening. And feel better is always something to be so grateful for to me. As I am battling depression again. So I take it day by day. How was yours?

@Faith-and-Hope - hi my lovely. I totally understand how turmoil on the Homefront can drain and take up a lot of our resources. I can understand you wouldn't have time to look at all threads. I really appreciate you thinking of us though. If ever you want to talk about anything here though please fell free to pop in anytime. You don't need to everyday. In the meantime I will pop over to the thread you mentioned and catch up with what has been going on in your family. Always thinking of you too 💜🌹xx

Below are a few colourful tops I have

In response to: Re: Over The Edge

Re: Over The Edge

Colour, colour and more colour 🌈😄

In response to: Re: Over The Edge

Re: Over The Edge

In response to: Re: Over The Edge

Re: Over The Edge

@Former-Member Those tops are beautiful. You would love my friend, she also loves colour, even has a light purple in her hair. People notice and comment on the way she dresses.

How did the cake baking go? I can't remember the last time I made a cake. I did make a good Christmas cake one year though. It said to put 1 and 1/2 tablespoons of brandy, I made a mistake and put 1 and 1/2 cups. Everyone loved the cake!!!!!! Staggered home lol.

I hope you got a better nights sleep last night, snoring doesn't help though, I remember that well. How is your daughter today?

I think I will continue with my cross stitch today. It's slowly coming along. Are doing the garden one at the moment?

Raining here, very grey and overcast, heading for 14 today, quite warm.

Hi @Owlunar How did the biscuits turn out? What are you doing today?.

Take care.

In response to: Re: Over The Edge

Re: Over The Edge

those tops are beautiful @Former-Member xx

how are you today xx

In response to: Re: Over The Edge

Re: Over The Edge

Hi @Former-Member and @Maggie

The polo shirts I get are short sleeved with collars - not polo roll-neck tops - I don't like anything around my neck like those heavy jumpers - and yes - I am very much a no-fuss type of person. I don't think I changed the studs in my ears since I wore my mother's beautiful earrings to my aunt's funeral last year -

I liked wearing school uniforms and then in the army of course - everyone looked the same and I blended in as much as my extrovert nature let me

I do like your tops though and I have a short top like one of yours - When I was really skinny my clothes would hang off me because I have a size fourteen skeleton - now I am a dress-size up and my clothes fit me - I fit my skeleton - broad shoulders and child-bearing hips and long legs - I actually like my shape - and that is probably rare

Cooking - yes - I used to really like cooking for a family - I did a lot of cooking and plenty of variety - cooking for one can become monotonous - I went to sleep yesterday and didn't make the cookies but I ate the white chocolate - and today I am a late starter

I have battled with reactive depression and I would fall into a huge hole about my life - those years and what caused it have passed but I know what it's like - I feel better if I eat more natural food - I do try - but I have up the vegetarian cooking which I found fantastic but incredibly messy a long time ago - I hope you day is as good as it can be

Today feels cold and blustery - we had heavy rain overnight and I was woken up with thunder - I hope I feel more with it when I have finished my coffee

Hi Maggie - I forget what you wrote that I was going to answer - I will catch up with you. I hope your day is as good as possible too

Dec

In response to: Re: Over The Edge

Re: Over The Edge

Hi @Maggie

My baking - yesterday it didn't happen - I went to sleep for ages - obviously I need it or I wouldn't do it - but I might get to it today - I like home-make cookies for breakfast with whatever - coffee or an Up and Go - I do tend to stay up at night though

I love the story about the extra brandy in the Christmas cake - that is really funny but it made the cake really good - I have heard that can happen - I have a bottle of Australian Fortified Wine in my cupboard - and I rarely think of it and drink it even more rarely - I wonder how that would go in my cookies

If I remember I will let you know - I don't follow recipes - I had trouble telling someone how to make biscuits with white chocolate - like I start with an egg and add sugar (how much? dunno - just some) add butter (how much? dunno - just some)

I can't remember the last time I followed a recipe - sometimes I read one and then make up my own as I go - I guess all the years I cooked for a family meant I didn't need to - every thing became a habit

Today I have someone coming to do domestic work here - this happens in the middle of the day - I have a few things to do before she gets here so let's hope I get to those cookies - they are hardly any work anyway

I hope your cross-stitch works out well - I used to do embroidery - a long time ago - and I knitted a lot - a long time ago

But I do hope your own day works out well

Dec

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