-Enigma-

Not sleeping for two days is enough reason alone to feel the weight of the world @outlander - it really can increase depression and anxiety levels. A bit of a catch 22. Hopefully you will wear yourself out soon and sleep - you will feel much better for it. The physical pain can take its toll and understand how this disrupts sleep - I see what my husband goes through. Distracting the mind can be good for it too - and certain exercise can help (others have shared this with me).

It would be good when you feel ready to study again - what do you think you would like to Study? I use to like study as it would distract my mind from other things and prevent boredom for me (I bore easy, that is why I always have to be doing something like writing, sewing, etc). I would always feel a sense of achievement when studying something - it was a good feeling. Believe it or not I use to enjoy maths - of itself it is a boring subject, but when applied to something I would but love the challenge. I enjoyed working it out - similar to a puzzle. Yes, I am different lol. I thrive on challenges - it's a sure recipe to keep depression at bay.

I equally enjoyed English and science.

Where do your interests lye? I know that can be lost sight of when feeling down and tired - I also found that. But it comes back....all in good time 😊

The house should be ready to move into by Christmas. I have been busy spring cleaning and am already disposing of things I don't want to take with me. I am looking forward to the lifestyle - I like the people that live there - it's a friendly friendly neighbourhood community that meets up for dinner once a week. Should do me good for me seeing I have no family other than my husband (my daughter is not the type that is there for her parents, it's the other way around and I feel quite distant from her present,y) I have been making quite a few new friends lately. But am ere often for my best friend whose burden is great presently - she is nursing her dying husband. I also have taken on more volunteer work working with no interest loan approvals and interviews. People are now looking for loans to lay their rent.....rents are high here. It's very sad.....I am happy to help.

I walked yesterday and was really enjoying it, until I injured my foot again. I felt it rip on upper part....have it bandaged but still walking around on it. I love to walk in this weather.,..it's still warm here with cooler evenings, just perfect.💜😘xx

You would be a great nurse @outlander - with your natural nurturing nature it would be right down your alley. And academically you do well too - I think it's something you will get back to in time.

The pain you are in doesn't sound good - perhaps ask for some short term pain killers to get you through the worse? Doesn't sound right.

Its a great thing you have started to read a little again. And you are actually enjoying it - a good sign. I have just finished reading "Woman In The Window" - a good read. Am about to read Picnic at Hanging Rock again. I also like to read angel stories for a soothing comfort. My daughter didn't come home and I can't contact her. And she is with the creep. It's not fair what she puts me through. I have to be strong. I need to go to my volunteer work tomorrow as I am depended on. xxx ❤️

Feeling for you and your daughter. @Former-Member

Still feel for my daughter but try not to retraumatise myself by doing anything about it for a while.

Hope vollie work was good today.

I had planned to go the zoo, but was not up to it today. Needing a quiet day at home and doing sorting.

Thank you @Appleblossom ❤️ You have the most beautiful heart - mine always feels warmer when reading your posts

Sorry to read that you where not up to going to the zoo today - I have had those days when I just needed quiet time to myself - I always feel better for it. Hope you are feeling better now.

I have been sorting out my wardrobe, bathroom and kitchen cupboards - can't believe the amount of things that I had accumulated. Have cleared it all out and given it to our local community centre where I work. Everything looks so organised and spick now - all ordered - makes me feel really good. But still have a bit to go....

I can totally relate to your saying that you are avoiding retraumatising yourself by letting it be with your daughter for now. I do know that emotional pain and for the sake of our own mental health we at times need to step back and let go.....I think that is wise and we know within ourselves when we need to do this. I am doing exactly the same with my daughter lest I come undone and truly understand where you are coming from. It is really hard to do sometimes but i have come to the realisation that I must as my daughter will live her life the way she pleases and I deserve some happiness too. So do you my friend - you have been through a lot and deserve to enjoy life now...it's our time to live. And we are survivors.

I really did enjoy my volunteer work - can't express enough how much I love it. At first I just wanted to give to others wanting nothing in return - to give back to the community and be there as I know what it's like to battle alone, how hard it can be; but I feel now they give me far more than I could ever give them..... One of the best decisions I have ever made and I am so glad I stuck it out, as there were times when it was very challenging for me to be there at all.

Hope your evening is a relaxing one. ❤️

And I hope your evening is relaxing too. @Former-Member My son just signed and paid for a good music workshop in July and has gone for a walk. So I am pleased with him.

I am freezing while he was in t shirt. lol ... there are differences between young and old ...Time to get off computer.

Love Apple

Hi @outlander - I hope you managed to get some more sleep last night. It's very hard to face each day without it.

"The Woman In The Window" is a story centred around a child psychologist - Anna - who suffered a traumatic event and as a result of it had a mental breakdown and became agrophobic, being unable to leave her home. She would spend some time looking out of her window at the surrounding neighbourhood homes and became familiar with the comings and goings of her neighbours. One neighbouring family introduced themselves - being a married couple with a son, and she became quite fond of the wife. She had a very good view into this neighbours front living room and some of the bedrooms as they never concealed the windows with coverings. Anna often, to the dismay of her psychiatrist, would mix alcohol with her meds and often became disorientated. Anna liked to connect with other sufferers online and they would often ask her for help. This was her only real contact with the outside world.

One night Anna's world turned upside down again as she believed she witnessed the murder of her neighbouring woman friend committed by her husband in their front living room. She reported it to the authorities. The husband denied this stating his wife was still alive. A woman presented herself to the authorities claiming to be his wife. Anna stated it was not the same person and was not his wife, was not her neighbourhood friend - but this woman provided evidence that she was. The authorities believed the husband determining Anna's testimony to be a delusion of hers due to her mixing mental condition and the fact she mixed alcohol with her meds. Anna remains firm in her resolves that she knew what she witnessed to be the reality. And goes out to prove it. And the plots thickens.......an interesting read.

I like to read biographies and true life stories - I also enjoy viewing true life movies. I like to read what I call "faction" - stories mixed with fact and fiction - with a splash of the supernatural thrown in to everyday life. I love mystery. What I do tire of is "who done it" novels based on homicide and police involvement - too many of them for me as it has become overkill (no pun intended). I like something with a good story with twists and turns that keeps one on the edge of their seats. Not many good novels/movies out there anymore. Just flicks filled with too much violence/swearing/porn because there is a lack of good script writing and writers on a whole unfortunately. Some great novels/movies came out in the 70s/80s/90s then not much after that in my opinion.

I have heard of the series Outlander. What are the novels about?