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-Enigma-

Unknown userMember07 July 2017, 4:01 am AEST

-Enigma-

I have given up now - no one can say it was not without a fight. But then no one on heaven and earth would give a damn anyway. I gave from the heart and it was a joy to help others. I felt such peace with that. I never did it for anything in return ever, I did it because I truly cared and felt so much genuine compassion towards others. I was promised dreams and peace would come true even though I never asked. It felt so good to know I made someone's lives a bit better.

Why is it that people like me are then faced with so much heartache, injustice, trauma and adversity that seeks to do everything in its power to destroy that good, to take the little good and peace I had, to utterly destroy me. Why?

I had always been there when possible others times of need - now that I truly need someone I have been all but abandoned by those I knew and those in the spirit. I realise now everything was a lie and feel utterless helpless and lost. I have lost everything and don't see the point in being here. I hope I don't wake up to another day of despair.

1732 replies

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In response to: -Enigma-

Unknown userMember24 May 2018, 12:37 pm AEST

Re: -Enigma-

In response to: -Enigma-

Unknown userMember24 May 2018, 12:49 pm AEST

Re: -Enigma-

Hi @Former-Member

So pleased to read that your current treatment is giving you a mental break. Lovely relief and you deserve that peace. Sounds like you went through hell with abusive relationships in the past - it's a godsend that your family was there to support you through it, thank goodness.

It made me happy to read you are in a loving relationship where you are treated like a prince - you deserve no less. So wonderful to have you here on the forum. Thanks for being there 🤗

In response to: -Enigma-

outlanderSenior Contributor24 May 2018, 6:57 pm AEST

Re: -Enigma-

Hi @Former-Member i missed this msg earlier sorry! Will come back just heading for a shower

In response to: -Enigma-

outlanderSenior Contributor24 May 2018, 7:27 pm AEST

Re: -Enigma-

@Former-Member where did your post go...
?

In response to: Re: -Enigma-

Unknown userMember24 May 2018, 7:39 pm AEST

Re: -Enigma-

Hi @outlander

My bad - I went to delete a sentence as I felt it revealed too much info on my daughter for my comfort. But instead of selecting just that line I must of hit select all - Sorry @outlander. The message could still be in your inbox. That will teach me to try and do several things at once 😑

In response to: -Enigma-

outlanderSenior Contributor24 May 2018, 7:48 pm AEST

Re: -Enigma-

Oh bugger @Former-Member i dont get emails anymore 😮

Hmm ill write what i remember reading.... your posts to me are important please know that so will try to cover it all

Your condition- it sounds abit scary esp with that balance and needing to be careful. Im sorry about your friend having that sort of reaction too. I hope you dont have a reaction like that!

Im sorry your daughter is struggling. I really hope she gets the help she deserves soon and accepts it too. Its ok to ask for help but its so so hard to actually accept the help offerred. It was something i struggled with too. It must be hard for you to watch on and just trying to hold yourself together.

The tens machine is strange but im glad there is a different for your hubby. Kinda like shorter strnger pain for a better outcome. I can work with that. I knocked my hand on a metal gate earlier so it is hurting and i had a shower so i take all the things off and mightve moved it a littl too much so will need to be alot more careful.

Im sorry if ive forgotten something.....

How are you going? How was your day?

In response to: Re: -Enigma-

Unknown userMember24 May 2018, 8:04 pm AEST

Re: -Enigma-

Ouch @outlander - that banging of the hand sounds painful - nothing like a long warm shower to ease any aches and pains. My daughter does find it hard to ask for help in anyway like it was for you. The problem is then she deals with the pain in very negative ways. It's hard to watch but I have to let her go and let her live her life for both of our sakes. I can't do anymore. I can't go through it anymore. My life would be all good and positive otherwise. I wish she would talk to someone. I just want her to be happy. I like being happy too.

I didn't like the tens machine but my husband gets a lot of pain relief from it - an individual thing I think.

My day was good - bumped into a couple of people I knew and had a lovely talk and catch up which was nice. I am finding I am especially enjoying the company of people lately, I like to connect - helps me to forget my own struggles. So a good day but still feeling unwell - hopefully the latter will be sorted soon.

Have are you going now?

In response to: -Enigma-

outlanderSenior Contributor24 May 2018, 8:12 pm AEST

Re: -Enigma-

Your doing the very best you can @Former-Member you are a brilliant mum and anyone could see that. Dont doubt those abilities ❤

Ive only been on the machine once so its not making any difference. How long did it take you to realise it was/wasnt for you?

Oh that sounds loveley. Its good bumping into people we havent seen for a while isnt it. Hope you start to feel better soon

Im okayish. That darkness has seeped in again and trying to drag me into that dark hole but im trying my best not to let that happen

Sending you hugs and good wishes and some more hugs ❤❣💖💙💟💚💕💜💛💝💗💗

In response to: Re: -Enigma-

Unknown userMember24 May 2018, 8:33 pm AEST

Re: -Enigma-

Preventing falling back into that black hole is like continually dodging a bullet @outlander. I do understand. Staying away from the negative is one way I dodge it - negativity can be contagious. Distracting my own negative thoughts with positive ones, activities and positive caring people does help me dodge it too.

Keep seeing a better future and pushing through the bad days as you will reach that light one day. Keep seeing and holding onto hope.

But if after all that and it occasionally hits I reach out to those who genuinely care and love me in my personal life. Draw closer to those who appreciate you and will help you to see the positive in yourself and life.

I hope the pain in your hand eases soon as that wouldn't be helping. Always here for you @outlander ❤️💜❤️💜🌹

In response to: -Enigma-

outlanderSenior Contributor24 May 2018, 9:10 pm AEST

Re: -Enigma-

Oh @Former-Member i am lost for words on what to reply. My words dont seem enough. I just really want to thank you and i am so very grateful that you are here for me. It means more than you know. Im here for you too, anytime whether you need to talk or just abot of company ❣❤💖 💙💜

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