-Enigma-

thats ok, you talk when/if your comfortable to do so @Former-Member will offer my heart and ear (and a shoulder if you need too)

oh its just my hand and pop causing me to get in trouble by about 3 other people because what im doing isnt good enough and i dont pay him and all the rest.

That sounds rough my friend. Not nice when we are made to feel not good enough. That hurts.

Don't believe it @outlander. Please remember that what you do for your pop and family many would not. Your selflessness is what makes you the better person. When you say you don't pay him - is that referring to rent or something else? The care and nurture you give your family is valuable beyond material money - I am sad that you are not being appreciated when you deserve to be. That's not fair. Hugging you in spirit.

It won't always be like this @outlander, as one day you will branch out and meet those who will appreciate you, love you for who you are and hold you in high esteem - as I do. For now I am here for you whenever you want or need me. I am your friend.

i never feel good enough @Former-Member it just seems to be confirmed by everyone around me.

yeh i pay my pop my share of bills- rent, water etc and then we just pay it all together. he doesnt pay the things till next week but as soon as its my pay day hes straight onto my case. i only got paid yesterday and forgot to get my share out to give to him so he went and told mum and then mum was on my case. apparently- im slack and i must be in a big debt since i never pay on time. i got cash out this evening and gave him my rent. i said ill go pay my share on the other bills so took all the bill papers and will do all of that tomorrow. i send myself broke- literally but ive found out he doesnt put what i give him on the bills and he doesnt add anything to them either so ill do it myself. he can put his share on when he feels like it.

yesterday i got growled at beacuse my house isnt in tip top shape mostly because of my hand. a few weeks ago he made out i was a bad carer and i had any people on my case about that.

i just seem to hve an endless case of not being good enough or expected o do ten thousand things all the time.

sorry that was a ramble. i dont want to burden you with anymore either.

thank you my friend

Don't be sorry @outlander - it's good to get it off your chest. Sounds like you are under much pressure and not given any slack. No one is perfect all the time.....I love my daughter - but you are far more responsible than her with bills - even if a bit late. I don't mind helping her out - as long as she makes a genuine effort to pay her share (which isn't much believe me). And to me that's what should matter in your situation, that you make your best effort which you are. That's reasonable - don't feel you are not good enough if others "are being unreasonable" - which it sounds like they are. See it that way, not that you fall short.

Don't see yourself as not good enough - see it "that they are asking too much and not giving you a break". Same with the housework - when there is a physical injury we naturally slow down and can't do what we normally would do.

Give yourself a break my friend and know that by doing your best that you are good enough. It's hard I know when others are making you feel bad - but try and brush it off and not let it rattle you. Unfortunately you are in a position of less power in the family - and that will make you more vulnerable to how those around you treat you. Even though it's hard "always stand up for yourself". Always stand for what is right if you are being wronged.

When your family makes you feel,not good enough when you give it your best shot - take your power back. Don't allow bad thoughts of yourself - talk back to those thoughts with a will and determination and acknowledge your good intentions and strengths (give them the thumb respectfully in your head). And calmly tell them you are doing all you can and you can do no more. Keep a positive vision set firmly in your mind that this won't be forever - that one day you will be treated better. And see what goals and ways you can make this happen. It may be a small step like becoming more involved in other things outside the house that will take your mind off how you are treated - a small step that can lead to better experiences and better things for you. It takes time but worth the effort. Stand tall - I feel your inner strength, it's there - believe in you xxxxx

thank you @Former-Member

im not actually late- our bills or well the combined bills (rent, power and water) all get paid next week but i tend to give him my share on my pay week so i dont accidently spend it. i try to see it as youve described- they expect too much. i just cant help but think otherwise. i guess that is the joys of mental health hey. i will keep trying my best though

thank you Enigma, youve been a big help tonight for me so thank you

Your welcome @outlander - and you aren't even late on your bills - makes them "more unreasonable". Please reread my post and stand tall. It does take practise - I have had years of it. I have been on the edge of a breakdown and still will stick up for myself - you have that tenacity too. Be stubborn. Never let anyone run you down. Not even yourself. No matter how you feel. Then you will feel better about yourself. Always here for you. ❤️

thank you @Former-Member ill be sure to read your posts again when i need to as a reminder too. ill keep learning and practicing though and maybe over time ill be better at being stronger and standing up for myself too

@Former-Member I would add forgiveness but that is divine 🙂

Good morning @Bunniekins - Hope your day is going well. Weather here cold, wet and abit dreary. Hope to get some cleaning out of cupboards etc done today in preparation to put the house on the market. A busy week ahead.