-Enigma-

thank you @Former-Member much appreciated.

my home life is rather tricky but i might leave that for tonight. thank you though. its one of those- damned if i do damned if i dont sort of things atm but hopefully over time i can break down some walls and be better in that area.

im so sorry to hear about your friend. i do remember he wasnt doing too well. i hope that he becomes more stable again and everything is ok. please make sure you take care of yourself too. im not surprised its affecting you greatly.

thank you for your advice re intimacy too. im not in a huge hurry though a relationship would be nice. i need to help myself first though and get better before i take on anything else. itll come in time im sure.

im not a mum so i cant fully understand but my sisters do that for me too. my good heart as people say is my big weakness. im glad that you have hubby and daughter though. i dont really have anyone except for here. im just a waste of air offline for others.

thank you for sharing all this with me too, its good to hear successess here. i love hearing how others are (good or bad) and their joys and things.

your day sounds nice but can understand how tonight would be affecting you, i am sure your friends would understand if you cancelled. they seem nice enough and you dont put up with crap so im sure youve got some good and honest connections there.

how will you be taking care of yourself tonight? your always in my thoughts but im abit concerned how your really doing with everything going on.

got a rather busy week here with appts with dr tomorrow to discuss stomach and kidney issues, blood tests well the refferrals anyway and then hand specialist on wednesday. not sure what else but im sure itll be abit full as pops struggling abit more with the colder days and nights and his ailments as well.

Thank you @outlander. Was really going well until I learnt of the news. Now I am just living and breathing moment to moment - a bit tense. May watch some TV, read or cross stitch to unwind and take my mind off things for now. Will deal with tomorrow tomorrow. That's how I cope. Thank you for talking to me as it helps in this moment. You are a rare special genuine person here. 💞

and thats ok @Former-Member moment to moment it is. im happy to keep talking if you would like (about your troubles, distraction or anything at all) or just 'sit and keep you company. just know im here for you too.

oh did my pics come up for you @Former-Member from the other day?

heres a few more for you too

The pics came through @outlander - so beautiful just like your heart. Warms me throughout. What a lucky person it will be who connects with it your soul one day. That love and care in you will shine and attract like - nurture it my friend. It will reward you tenfold.

When you do connect in intimacy your life will take on new meaning - not to say that you will never feel pain again, sometimes I have felt it more as a result - but that the emptiness is no longer there which makes life more fuller and eases the pain. Really is special and rare - that is what I have with my husband. And some friends and daughter too. It's everything and the rest fades in comparison. I am losing a person who I share that intimacy of friendship and the pain is great....

Grief is taking root in me now and am feeling numb. Expression in words can't be found for now but thank you for sitting with me - means a lot xxx ❤️

thank you @Former-Member

i just seen your gratitude post, i think hes lucky to have you too. you seem to be a wonderful and rare couple.

is there anything i can do to help at all tonight? grief is so so hard to deal with- in any form. im grieving a friendship too and i didnt actually know them so can empathise with you.

You have helped just by caring dear @outlander. I think the love my husband and self share is rare to what others have told me in my day to day life. I am lucky - and yes, he saids the same to me. He just said this morning that it astounds him just how great his love for me is. Makes up for my loveless childhood. Nice how life works out that way. How good things do happen.

Can't talk about my grief just now, too hard, but want you to know how I appreciate you being there. Can't believe your family does not appreciate you - I would treasure a daughter/friend/sibling like you. Goes to show how blind people can be. Their loss. Will chat more soon 💜 xx

so very special @Former-Member and your welcome. please tag me if you need me

@outlander 💜❤️💜❤️🌹 Thank you

Hi @outlander - just returned home and am about to go to sleep as I have to work tomorrow. Just wanted to share that I did go out today and this evening and it was just what the doctor order - I had a wonderful day despite my grief and made another good friend whom I will shortly be joining to play ten pin bowling with (and her team) weekly. My friends and myself this evening were talking about taking a trip overseas together - if hubby gets clearance I will do it next year! Happy and fun times ahead. Just feeling so sad for my friend though - I hope and pray he pulls through.

It was my daughter's second day induction trial at the full time job she hopes to secure - she said the boss came up to her and was very happy with her performance and how she landed a deal with a company in such a short period of time - so it looks like she has the job! She will know for certain on Thursday. Things are looking up. I must say how much better I feel when I get out of the house and socialise in really good company - I had such a wonderful time and the food was great.

So my day was better - how was yours? When do you see your GP. I am concerned for your health. Please let me know how it all goes. Thinking of you ❤️😁