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Something’s not right

-Enigma-

-Enigma-

I have given up now - no one can say it was not without a fight. But then no one on heaven and earth would give a damn anyway. I gave from the heart and it was a joy to help others. I felt such peace with that. I never did it for anything in return ever, I did it because I truly cared and felt so much genuine compassion towards others. I was promised dreams and peace would come true even though I never asked. It felt so good to know I made someone's lives a bit better.

Why is it that people like me are then faced with so much heartache, injustice, trauma and adversity that seeks to do everything in its power to destroy that good, to take the little good and peace I had, to utterly destroy me. Why?

I had always been there when possible others times of need - now that I truly need someone I have been all but abandoned by those I knew and those in the spirit. I realise now everything was a lie and feel utterless helpless and lost. I have lost everything and don't see the point in being here. I hope I don't wake up to another day of despair.

1732 replies

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In response to: -Enigma-

Re: -Enigma-

Hi @Former-Member
That is really great to hear. Thank you for sharing!
Oh wow a trip overseas would be great for you. Im not a huge fan of travel myself but if you can go would be good.

Thats awesome news about your daughter too. I hope she does get the job. Is ahe more happy there?

Yes i went to the dr who seems like she doesnt give a shite-sorry maybe shouldn't use that word. Shes brushed off everything i said but managed to get her to write up a blood test to check liver, allergies, kidneys ( for infection) and anything else that can be done. Thr blood test didnt go all that well and needed 3 different veins to get the amount they needed and ended up having to lay down. I dont do well with needles and felt rather sick and lightheaded. Can handle one go at it but 3 was too much. Not alot of support from her at all and had me rather upset. Its been a big day yet again but hoping tomorrow is better and Thursday is hand specialist again.

I hope work goes well for you tomorrow. Goodnight loveley. Im so glad you had a good day/night. ❤❤

In response to: Re: -Enigma-

Re: -Enigma-

Sorry to read you had such a negative experience with your GP @outlander - not good and frustrating when we are not listened to. Is your symptoms mainly digestive?

I had a really good day at work - I get along so well and a mental very close to everyone there, so I always come home feeling marvellous. But the flip side is my best friend rang and her husband, whom I am very close to, had the emergency medical team in early this morning as his vital signs were shutting down. They revived him but it is not looking good 😢. They are not sure why he suddenly went down like he did and are running tests - I have a feeling he has had a seizure. Will have to wait and see the results.

My best friend is so incredibly strong - not sure I would hold up like her if it were my husband. Not sure if that is just outward appearance (bravado) or not......she never will tell anyone if she is sad or down.

So a day of mixed emotions....hope your day went okay 💜

In response to: Re: -Enigma-

Re: -Enigma-

sending you tender hugs @Former-Member

In response to: Re: -Enigma-

Re: -Enigma-

hi loveley @Former-Member

oh dear 😞 im sorry to hear about your friend. i hope his results have some answers. my thoughts are with you and him and family too. such a hard and scary time for you all. big hugs xox and with your friend she knows your there but gentle reminders are nice too. some people find it really hard to ask for help but the knowledge they have people in their corner helps abit. im sure you already know this though.

im glad your day at work was good too, its nice to be around your friends.

yep its mostly digestive issues atm. my day was ok, done a small painting to keep myself occupied. nothing special though. havent done any for a while.

In response to: Re: -Enigma-

Re: -Enigma-

Thanks @Shaz51 - how are you and Mr @Shaz51 going?

Thanks for your support @outlander Painting something would be a nice relaxing way to spend the day. What did you paint? Would love to see a picture if you have time to put one up. I will try and get some pics of the progress of my cross stitch soon to post. I love all the "bling" of the beads and metallics.

Hope those medical tests give you some answers soon xx

In response to: Re: -Enigma-

Re: -Enigma-

always here for you @Former-Member

its just a little pink loveheart with a black background. was trying out how to paint on a canvas as ive never used one. ill put a pic up once it dries abit more.oh yes id love to see your cross stitching when you can! do you have beads on this one?

In response to: Re: -Enigma-

Re: -Enigma-

Quite a lot of beads on this one @outlander, with many more to sew on. I hope the camera can pick up the blintz tomshow you - usually these pics of beading can look quite flat on photos as it's hard to pick up the glimmer. But will give it a whirl tomorrow.

Cant say I have ever painted on canvas - how did you find it? There could be some money to make in doing pop like canvas art for home decorations I would think - I am always looking for some for my beach house and can never find much which is strange I thought. I love bright white walls with colourful modern paintings. I also love aboriginal art and have some of this artwork hanging up already.

The sheer pleasure of creating something fun and uplifting is enough though. Can't wait to see your pics.

In response to: Re: -Enigma-

Re: -Enigma-

sometimes pics just dont do any justice does it @Former-Member maybe take it outside into the sunlight ?

um it was ok, ive only got little ones atm just so i can play with them abit and work abit more on the brush strokes and getting familiar with the different paints and how they react on canvas ie water colour, acrylic. i dont a recent painting which was lilacs in a jar but that was only on paper, might give it ago on a bigger canvas once ive practiced abit more. ive done quite alot of drawing the past yr though. one of my favourites is the lilac painting, my sunset painting, my tiger and also my butterfly i drew for mum but i cant share that one here unfortunatley.

i wish i could show you some of the photos from my mums work. she works near a beach so theyve styled her work more of a modern beach theme and she often gets me some pics so i can try and draw them. she sent me a startfish one that i might have a go at drawing one day. some aboriginal artworks are really good. i dont have any though.

In response to: Re: -Enigma-

Re: -Enigma-

ok @Former-Member here the small canvas. it looks abit messy around the edges, its still wet so didnt want to pick it up. i need to work on symetry more and also work on getting a steadier hand!

hello @Shaz51

In response to: Re: -Enigma-

Re: -Enigma-

Hello @outlander

Yes mr shaz is okish @Former-Member one step at a time here my friend xxxx

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