-Enigma-

hi @Former-Member your often in my thoughts

hmm pain after a physio isnt always good but sometimes it takes a sesison or 2 to get some results.. im glad things have worked out with yor daughter too. wish i had a relationship with my mum like that. we have a love hate relationship.

i hope with her new job she gets some new and better friends too, lol i loved how you said creepy boyfriend. it must be good to watch her maturing too. your a good mum @Former-Member but i guess we cant control everything hey.

its really easy to be drawn in by others but i go the opposite way now, it takes me foreveer to trust people and the first sign of trouble i become more weary. been burnt' way too many times. ive got bad luck wihen it comes to people.

thanks for the vote of confidence, im not that great at peopleing, will learn though im sure. life a journey, it just seems to be a hard one. im not a fan of the camera thing, im asking my gp to put allergy testings and whatever else in with my next lot of bloodwork that needs to be done in about 2 weeks time and i see my go on wednesday next week so will ask then and start with that.

how are you going tonight?

Had to rewrite my reply as my iPad crashed....

Feeling tired tonight to be honest @outlander. I have been feeling tired a lot lately - time for a checkup I think. But have also been under a lot of stress so can never be sure what is what.

I can understand your reluctance about the camera if anxiety is involved. Hope your GP visit goes well and you get some more answers. Will be thinking of you

I never had a close relationship with my mother either - she was cold and abusive. I think this made me more protective of my own children, trying not to make the same mistakes. I have always felt the absence of a mothers love deeply. If you have some love with your mum hang onto it and try and nurture that side...it will help you if it outweighs the hurts, just depends.....My love and support is now appreciated by my daughter but isn't enough (I wish it was) - she needs others her own age and like all, someone to love and love her. She keeps winding up with users.....She needs to believe in herself first and work on her damaged self esteem. The latter is the root of all her destructive behaviour (although that has improved as she is working out that there are consequences and they are unpleasant or desirable).

You are right, we can't control everything. I think that's what I would like to do when I see my daughter heading for a brick wall, jump in and prevent and protect - but I can't. I realised I can't keep rescuing her - she has to work it out for herself to grow and move forward. It can be so hard to watch at times, so I have had to emotionally detach somewhat. But it's nice that my efforts haven't failed in our relationship. I wasn't sure for a long time as she is very hard to talk to.

I understand trust issues - it's nice to be around people and enjoy their company where possible but not get too close too soon. If that's meant to be it tends to happen naturally if we are open and nurture it. I can have an uncanny intuition at times at judging character by looking into someone's eyes and then their actions eventually back it up. I could tell you a few stories, both good and bad there.

No one is perfect - but I back off from selfish abusive people and people who betray my friendship - most people are inbetween I find and the diamond hearts are rare, but out there. I am fortunate enough to have married one (in my second marriage, so it took me awhile), and I have a few friends with hearts of gold (but they are not without fault - the difference is their intentions are good and they give of themselves wanting nothing in return from me - no motive, that's how you know the genuine from those who aren't ).

Hoping your evening is good xxx

might be abit of carer burnout @Former-Member but best to get it checked when you can just in case its a deficiency or something.

my mother sounds similar to yours only shes only like it to me which is hard to deal with sometimes when she rubs in her love and support for my sisters. ive had to grow up fast and learn alot for myself and still having to do it now. yuor daughter is lucky to have you even though she didnt realise it until now. its great she acknowledges you too. i guess sometimes we learn the hard way, she seems smart but like you said low in self esteem. i dont have much of that myself. if i knew your daughter i would happily be her friend.

would love to hear some of those stories whenever your up for it @Former-Member im not that clever, i generally just get 'feelings' what i pick up the most from people including their eyes (even if they are smiling) is pain. i dont know if is mental or physical but pain gives people a look when its been chronic or really severe.

your friends and hubby sound wonderful (even with their faults), hopefully ill be able to make some friends like that too one day

i hope tongihts ok for you too, a nice hot bath and cuppa might suit you well

Hi @Former-Member Are you still about- I wanted to get some advice from you?

The cuppa sounds wonderful - but I would probably fall asleep in the bath and it wouldn't end well 😨😜.

You would get along with my daughter well @outlander - but I don't know if you would warm to her friends. Their lifestyle habits aren't entirely healthy - that's what I would like her to move away from for her own physical and mental wellbeing - but she isn't anywhere near as bad as she use to be and is able to work full time. I don't interfere - I step back and let her live her life. I had drinking troubles when I was her age, so I know it's something a person has to choose and want to quit themselves for a better quality of life. You would be good for each other.

When I first met my husband I saw in his eyes that he was a very genuine, good person. It was a wave of warmth that washed over me that left no room for doubt (hard to describe) and was spot on. Another not so positive incident was when I use to live on a farm out South. Many neighbouring property owners would meet at the front of our gate (1 kilometre from our house at the end of the pebble driveway) with their school aged children waiting to be picked up by the school bus. Myself and husband were there one morning with our daughter when she was little and we were introduced to a new young couple in their late twenties whom were also waiting for the school bus with their young children (7 and 5 years old). We talk with them for awhile and they were outwardly very friendly, happy and talkative. But while I was talking to the male partner a very bad feeling washed over me that troubled me. I didn't show it and kept up a friendly calm front.

When this young couple put their children on the bus and eventually made their way home I told my husband of the strange feeling I had about the male I just met. I said something "was very wrong with him - sinister even". My husband looked at me for awhile and wasn't sure what to make of it, but he wasn't dismissing it either because he knew I had this type of intuition that has been proven before. But we did forget about it and went on with our day. Three days later we heard on the news and were informed by neighbours (in a small country town word gets around fast) that this male I met attacked his wife, whom I also met that day, and cut her right ear off - and that he was currently detained in a prison on the edge of the nearest major nearby town!!!! They were both apparently addicted to hard drugs and he lost it. How eerie! - I was very worried for the children. I do believe they both lost custody of them at that time and they did separate.

When I first met my daughter's present creepy boyfriend he was quite charming. He was very friendly, respectful and polite towards my husband and self. But when I was looking at him while he was talking I saw rage in his eyes momentarily. Again a bad feeling washed over me. When he left my husband asked what i thought of him and I told him also what I saw. Together with that I could see he was someone who would use our daughter for all she had and then when he tires of her he would move on - only to go back to her when he want to control her and use her for something. Fast forward 4 months - she told us he had been jailed for beating up his prior partner (the rage I saw). And that he would "get very angry" at times and frighten her. And he did end up using her (and still does); also has now moved to another suburb now he has milked her for all she was worth. Again, I was spot on. It does not happen all the time but when it does I have no doubt.

The problem with my daughter is she keeps following this creep and does his bidding!! So you can probably understand my frustrations and concern. Gut feelings can sometimes be a guide and a warning. Just all depends how clear we are thinking at the time (free from internal emotion, prejudice, negativity and pain that can distort perception etc). It's interesting but has served me well. This has only developed in me in the last 15 years - certainly not all my life. When very young I was quite clueless and troubled. It has not failed me yet.

It has been lovely chatting with you @outlander - keep your heart and intentions good touching all you meet and love and friendship will find you eventually in your travels. You have good things to look forward too 😘

hi @oceangirl i just seen your post pop up and wanted to say hello

I just saw your post now @oceangirl - sorry I missed it as I just received notification. Am here if you want some advice or to talk about anything. Is everything alright? ❤️

Hi @outlander

Sorry just seeing your message now. Thanks for your shoutout. Hope to catch up soon.

I thought you might have missed the post @Former-Member. How are you hon?Oh that question, I am havving terrible sweats and the Dr thinks its my medication for depression but I have been having them prior to taking this medication. I think its my premature menopause if not either one of them, I am bit worried. The Dr is weaning me off my medication and feeling quite tired atm. A few other symtoms but tiredness is a big one for me. What do you think might be the cause? I will follow up with Dr tomorrow.

Other news settled into uni life well and made some really good friends. I'm week 8 atm- the semester is going really quick.

I am going pretty well @oceangirl

From the symptoms you have described to me for quite awhile now (memory problems, anxiety, sweating, fatigue etc) it does sound like the symptoms of peri/menopause to me. A specialist would be the best one to confirm this and perhaps offer treatment options that you are comfortable with.

I am still on HRT for it - I did try to wean off a couple of months ago and I became sick and depressed again. I was reentering the menopause stage again so I went back on them. I can't afford to get sick or have another breakdown - I have too many people relying on me. I Feel much better now. Not sure what I am going to do about HRT - may stay on them for a few more years and try again another time - the symptoms are debilitating for me.

You made friends very quickly @oceangirl - that's great news! How did the volunteering at the Commonwealth Games go? Sound like life is getting much better for you and that makes me very happy 🤗❤️