Life after hospital

ever since i meantioned that i might look towards doing nursing as a career. my god i havent heard the end of it. 'you should do it' you need to move on with your life' have you looked into it yet' why not' or questionsed what ive researched.

i say im not sure yet i need to get grounded properly first 'you should still do it anyway'

i feel so pressured to do it. but i jsut cant yet. i would walk in there and i would be triggered left right and centre and wouldnt be able to do my job becasue of it. the thought of hospital is evena trigger for me so how can i work there if i cant control at least some of my triggers or become desenitised from them.

i cant just up and leave everything. i cant expect change and it all to happen over night. its got to be slow-ot too slow hopefully- but it has to be permananent not jsut rushed and everything have to change again and again. ive got to remebr that its been like this for as long as i can remember myself so it a long time to suddenly expect change

which pic @utopia the coloured or the black and white pic?

oh yes i quite like the coloured one too @utopia glad you liked it

i wanted to work in a ward similar to what i was in when i was in hospital. it was only the short stays with non violent people. so a nurse who has specialised in pysch as well. so to get to that point i have to become an RN who studies psych as well. i dont want to rush into anything, but i feel like im being pushed into it.

i dunno but right now im having a massive bout of vertigo and its either sit down or fall down. i even ahd to use the railing put in place for my nan and pop in the shower becasue i couldnt stand up straight and got dressed sitting on the toilet and no sudden movements, everyhting was slow and even thats not helping. ive got a big headache and while ive taken painkillers, i dont think its going to help the vertigo

i take all my night time meds at 9- not that the sleeping tablets work. but hopefully ill wear down quickly or at least be able to rest to get some sleep tonight @utopia

Hi @outlander

I am glad you got into hospital and treated when you did. There comes a time when we (you and me and others) need to recognise the times we need hosptial and to be cared for and helped and this time yoiu needed the care.

Now you are home I hope you are being cared for.

Sorry i haven't spoken to you for a while, i haven't coped myself lately. haven't been too good myself.

i really hope you get well soon, i know you can.

love you friend BB xxxooo

i wasnt ready to come out of hospital and now im debating whether I should try and go back in for a few days. I just dont think itll solve my problems as much as I want them to be solved on their own.
Im always working hard. Ive been out for over a week and so far im rarely sitting down. i knew that when the kids went back to school this would happen. i friggin knew it!
i keep arguing with my mother and she makes me frantic. today while i was paddock cleaning i had 10 missed calls and 6 msgs in under half an hour!!!! i thought it was emergent but instead she wanted to argue and complain that i wasnt coming out for lunch with her and her bf- ended up going- waste of time maccas had better food and a heap load cheaper too!
then when i got home she complains i was out too late.
get a job but im out to late- makes perfect sense doesnt it. cant friggin win

Im trying to get myself back on track however its not working and ive fallen backwards again. flat on my back it feels!
I dont know how the heck im suppose to recover from all of this. I need a fairy godmother.