Hey Life - give me a break.

I realised at about 6am this morning that I fed my mother her last meal too @soul .... I hadn't thought about that since then, until you mentioned it for your mum the other day .... my mum ended up in a coma that night that she didn't wake from, after a RFD journey from the country .... I drove in from the country and didn't get in to see her till the next morning.

We lost her a week later. It's a memory I am grateful for now, and yes, not something that ratty siblings can take from you ....

Mine weren't ratty ... just not on the same page intellectually .... one lower functioning, other one a "super-bright" ....

💜

Wow 14kms @soul xx

hello @Faith-and-Hope, @Former-Member, @Former-Member, @Determined

Hi Shaz51!
Yes nothing is worth it from my depressed,and hopelessness state of psychotic mind!Lol or cry😴Just noticed they have my portrait at the moment on souls thread on the sane menu,must be my beauty!Lol

Yeah, you certainly can't choose your family. @Former-Member - my younger brother and sister live quite close to where I used to. My brother was literally a stone's throw away from me and my sister - a ten minute drive at most. I remember my brother seeing me at the local grocery store and turning the other way. My son once told me he saw my brother coming out of the barbers but didn't think he recognised him.

The niece - I used to babysit her son once a week and whenever he was sick and couldn't go to childcare. Never once did she thank me. My sister would pick him up and take him to her place and I would look after him there as she had a nursery was set up. Now we both live in the same suburb. How awkward is that?

@Former-Member, the solicitor told me that if my brother wanted to distribute the will other than in equal shares, he would have to make an application to the court and that would cost $30000 to $35000. Other than receiving a copy of the will and his declaration that he "knew" what Mum wanted by email, I haven't had any communication from him. I don't want to cause waves so perhaps I should wait until he informs us of the distribution.

Yes @Faith-and-Hope - my sibs aren't on the same planet let alone the same page.

@Shaz51 - went to the shops to get a couple of things and for an afternoon walk with the pooch so now up to just under 20kms. Walking suits me - I'm not up to the social aspect of a gym. Have thought about getting a bike though.

for myself @soul, I see more when I am walking , but riding is good too xx

I now have to drive out where I always walked for my privacy.You must be in a good area soul.
Yes my sister who lives 25 minutes away put us through it years ago,used mum for money,dumped her kids on us for several years til she had to take them for custody reasons,one day she looked me in the eye and said she didn't owe mum or me nothing.I never got over this,wasn't just what she said,but when she said it to me,there was no conscious,and it was very brutal and blunt.I shut her out of my life.I saw her in a shop few months ago didn't know if it was her due to her weight gain.Had to ask mum if she was her,sad but true.I can't handle them lived in flight mode which contributed to my anxiety.I get depressed how my mother won't let me breath and appreciate even if they invited her to go for a coffee because I'm paying for my mother's loneliness.I have had to avoid family funerals because of my avoidance of them.I have paid a high price soul for family problems and its impact.I don't know how to handle it either soul other than to just block them out.

@soul

I have told my mum that if she doesn't spell everything out clearly in her will to leave me out of it altogether. She has (or at least had) the delusion that she doesn't even need a will because we are all loving happy people who would work things out in a mature manner. Dont know what rock she has been hiding under lol .

Makes my blood pressure goes up just thinking about it.... saw the crap that went on when dad died and everything just went to mum anyway. Little green eyes lit up all over the place when mum gave a coiple of things away.

Also had issues with my siblings after dad died, all buggered off and left me with mum, never saw them for months, yet if you asked mum now she would tell you I was the only one she didn't see.... I spent more time with mum than I did with my unwell wife and newborn baby. Both mum and wife were suicidal at the time. Older brother and sister think they are the heroes that got mum through it all. Sister was 4000 km away. 3 single siblings and could not be stuffed to even call and check in. Little bro has recently acknowledged that and apologised to me. Apparently he spent the 12 months after dad died stoned as his way of dealing with it.

Sister currently lives at home bludging off mum. I can see her trying to claim the house after mum goes because she is financially dependant. Only because she is too lazy to get out of her own way....

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@Shaz51 wrote:

for myself souI, see more when I am walking , but riding is good too xx

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@soul @Shaz51

Riding is great, I do better riding as my legs swell up if I spend too much time on my feet . Can also cover a lot more ground on the bike which is satisfying.

I had a goal of 100 km per week starting November last year, think I may have managed 150km in total since then. Going to try start up again once children are back at school.

I like to go out early when there are fewer people about @Former-Member. I have found little places amidst the commercial and congested areas that are interesting. I walled to a place that I visited three weeks ago. It didn't quite have the same appeal as the first time but there was still enough serenity for me to enjoy it. Watched the sunrise, there was a lone fisherman, a couple of people kayaking and boating, some people walking dogs. I took a few photos. Didn't talk to anybody.

I am fortunate that I can walk out the door to these places but I think the time will soon come when I need to explore other locations. I love the rainforest.

So sad isn't it that families don't always live in harmony? When I left to go overseas, I asked my sister if I could store a dozen or so boxes at her place and she flat out refused. She loves on acreage and has a massive garage and house and only had one son at home. I asked my mother who had a empty garage and no car and when the siblings heard about it, they immediately told me I couldn't because the clutter would stress her out. I ended up asking two friends 😥

I can't imagine ever connecting with them again.