Hey Life - give me a break.

Riding a bike would give me more options and allow me to go further afield @Shaz51 @Determined. It's something that I have enjoyed doing in the past but I do prefer quiet roads or bike paths.

I sold my last bike for about a fifth of what it was worth as I was heading overseas.

Know where you're coming from @Determined. My kids were in primary school when I was taking care of Dad and Mum. My sister's kids were much older and could be left on their own and my younger brother never had any children. I was often asking friends for help in taking them to sports training etc. so I could tend to my parents - 60kms round trip each time and more to the hospital etc. There were times, I had to go over to them in the middle of the night. So I wore loss of income plus expenses such as fuel, hospital parking and so on whilst the siblings just carried on living their lives, going on holidays and buying expensive things.

I leave the state and then the country but by that time, both my sister and brother had retired so didn't have the responsibilities I had.

When my father passed away at an aged care facility, my sister was quick to clear out his belongings. Noticed shortly after that her son had Dad's TVs in his room and her other son his bar fridge and fish tank. When I organised the selling of the family home, my sister's husband was over there grabbing all Dads tool's, mower etc.

Likewise with Mum - who knows where all her things went? Now my brother states that there are no material goods of Mum's to be dispensed with. Hmmmm?

On the farm or before I had a breakdown in life I used to walk at 430 in the morning,with a flashlight until it got light,out of town you were safe,I miss it get it over with early and no people.I sold the farm,based on the crap counseling,to remove myself from the family situation,get my own life ,the house in town would be divided up equally,and I would get my own life....FAILED,lost the lifestyle,lost the money from my garage I built,worked for*ride on mower,now got nothing,the time I was away for six months to get a job the sister 25 minutes away not once helped my mother in this house which I had to come back to do.The other sister 17 years ago made out with my mother I was violent when I spoke up and said "no".My mother always failed to see anyone's fault but mine often projecting it on my shoulders.!The eldest sister got the local doctor and the police.Her boyfriend then a few days later pushed me out of the house.I was in speaking to the local cop when it came over his radio I was "going beserk out"out at that address.At the time I was severely obese and felt my sister used this to hurt me.I copped crap in the workplace from this,they joked eg:not give me a k**** "etc.I was told to go to a refuge,I went to my uncle for six weeks. This contributed greatly to my breakdown as when I was forced to invest in a garage ,I was told my everyone from relatives to police,it wasn't my place.It caused great stress and inner conflict.My sister went off and had her life, to this day those facts were distorted.This is why I tell outlander tonight on her thread her family will never change.I have paid a high price.My father died when I just about to start HSC exams,last one home.I failed at my life,feel pressured to SC because I read I will be homeless,and can't get a job so can't keep self sufficient anyway.Last year ,my mother nearly died,and the older sister was feeling remorseful and made out they would leave this house to me.I had a old neighbour who was friends for years and at the time I was struggling like I am now and SC thoughts ,just coming background here,my old neighbour said to me my sister was generous doing that and made out I should be grateful....I never spoke to her again.She died at Easter,and deeply feel guilty of not making up with her because I now have to live with it.I don't know soul if I want to be around to deal with it.

@Former-Member - life needs to give you a break too.

Count yourself very fortunate then @utopia. A friend of mine was one of eight children who supposedly all got on very well until ... Being an only child has its benefits.

@soul

@Former-Member

Read your post lapses

Can see you are struggling.Hard to let go off guilt when you live with the consequences and you are worser off for it.I try,when my mother puts her irrational thoughts or projects guilt on me I challenge it,but it doesn't change anything at all.I wish I was more self centred and had those qualities at times they can survive this world ,I can't like the others soul,in reference to your post,you are much better off. Someone had a opinion on SC I read where they make out it's a selfish act.Totally disagree with that when you are on your own like me.