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Hey Life - give me a break.

Hey Life - give me a break.

@PeppiPatty - regarding my story - it probably warrants a thread of its own. Really needing my friends@Shaz51@Faith-and-Hope@Determined@Former-Member@Former-Member@Anony18@outlander@Former-Member @PhoenixRising @Former-Member

Sexually assaulted at age 13. Have never told my family.

Went to uni and moved away afterwards for work so fully independent then.

Came back to my home town after a couple of years.

Had a couple of serious relationships and ended up marrying a narcissist used car dealer (say no more) Basically raised my kids by myself. At 40, he had a fling with a married 19year old who already had a two year old child. He fathered a child with her and I found out some time later when I discovered he was paying child support payments. Stayed in this loveless marriage until the kids had finished school, then divorced which was nasty and I suffered financially big time. Had loaned his business money but didn't have anything legal drawn up. He also moved a lot of money around and had an overdraft on our home.

Got into a relationship with someone who was actually interested in me and shared common interests. It was the best and worst time of my life. He fits all the criteria of BPD. Moved interstate to be with him. The relationship became volatile and he physically assaulted me. This is when I became involved with this Forum. On one occasion, a neighbour called the police and he was arrested. They saw my injuries, he admitted guilt and he was imprisoned. I stood by him all during his incarceration, funding an appeal and he was released after eight months only to be deported as he wasn't an Australian citizen. I joined up with him overseas but the assaults continued. He got sporadic help for his MI but wasn't committed to getting better.

Eventually after yet another particularly bad assault and having the police involved, I returned to Australia and that was four and a half months ago. He appears to be serious about managing his condition now, taking medication, going to support and counselling sessions and hopes that I will return. However, all trust has been obliterated. We still have contact and that can get traumatic at times.

I started off on the Carers' side but find myself on the Lived Experience team as well. I have been having sessions with a psychologist.

Thrown into the mix is my own family. They don't know what I have been through. I used to care for my father and mother, used all my holiday and long service leave, taking time off work and eventually quitting so I could be there for them. Two of my siblings also live nearby but they were more concerned about building wealth than our parents' wellbeing so it was left to me. My father passed away and when I left to be with my partner, my mother's care was transferred to them. I feel they resented my decision but for the first time in my life I felt I was entitled to pursue happiness (not that it turned out that way) The sibs shut me out and when Mum passed away recently things went from bad to worse and as Executors of her will they scattered her ashes when and where they wanted without telling me and are responsible for distributing her estate however they see fit. There was no funeral or memorial service.

I live with my daughter and my son lives with his father. I love my kids with all my heart and live for them. I have a dog (actually my daughter's) who is my constant companion. I do a lot of walking and listening to music to escape the depressing thoughts I feel. I have no idea what to do with my life now and think it's all a cruel joke.

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In response to: Hey Life - give me a break.

Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

Hi @soul
Checking in to see how you are travelling.

In response to: Hey Life - give me a break.

Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

Me too @soul, u ok? you've been quiet lately 💜💕 Hiya @Former-Member 💜

In response to: Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

Will give a little update soon. Just perculating some plans.

In response to: Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

Haven’t posted on here for a while. As you may know, I have taken up yoga and attend a class every day. I also enrolled in a Meditation workshop and have just completed five out of the six sessions. These things have been life changing for me. The yoga has been wonderful for my body in helping to remove so much built up tension that I was holding. It is a highlight of my day and has helped me develop a healthy routine along with the walking that I do.

I think the workshop really sealed it. It was explained that Meditation wasn’t about clearing your mind but acknowledging your thoughts and allowing those ones that are negative to pass by. The importance of self tending was emphasised especially by feeling good through our senses and drawing upon these sensations when we need to.

It has given me back some of that self confidence and calmness that I lost. I have become more content in my own company and can deal with stressful situations much better. Now it’s time for me to step out of my comfort zone. I love to travel and experience different cultures so next week, I am taking off to Northern Thailand for a month. I had become a bit restless and wanted a change of scenery so I have booked the flights and the first few days of accommodation.

It will be a minimalistic trip, just a carryon bag but I will have an iPad for reading books and internet. Looking forward to getting out into the natural environment, exploring, enjoying massages after a long day hiking or cycling, eating good simple food, meeting interesting people. Hope to find some cool yoga studios along the way.

I feel that the time is right. Mum has passed away. My daughter is happy with her job and bf and probably will relish having the place to herself. Son is fine. Just hope the pets get taken care of properly. Shall miss my furry canine shadow.

I’ll check in now and then and let you know how things are going. I leave next Thursday evening. Very excited!!

@Former-Member@Former-Member@Owlunar@Former-Member@Former-Member@Faith-and-Hope@Determined@Phoenix_Rising@utopia@outlander@Zoe7@CheerBear@lovemyboys@PeppiPatty@Former-Member@Anony18@Teej@Lostatsea@frog

In response to: Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

Have a good time @soul wish I had the money to do the same.Stay safe.💌

In response to: Hey Life - give me a break.

Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

@soul ... so pleased to get your update ... hope trip goes well

In response to: Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

Hi @soul

That is exciting!! Sounds like you have turned a corner in your life and rediscovered your zest once again. So happy for you 😊 I found your explaination of the process of meditation very interesting - acknowledging negative thoughts but giving them no focus to overwhelm. Practise making it easier each time. The focus of feeling good through our senses - is that drawing in the ambience of nature and positive affirmative thoughts/energy? Being comfortable in our own skin, self belief, is so important towards healing. Well done.

The trip will be the adventure of a lifetime. I look forward to reading all about it when you can post. Will miss you but am so over the moon excited for you. Way to go @soul 💕xx

In response to: Hey Life - give me a break.

Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

@soul. That is so exciting. Your yoga and meditation have set you up - in a good place - & now it's time to explore a bit of the world. A bit of nature. Sounds like an amazing trip.
Good on you for moving ahead with your plans

In response to: Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

@soul .... 💜🤗

In response to: Hey Life - give me a break.

Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

Oh @soul! This is so exciting!!! I am so so SO happy for you, both that you have this adventure ahead, and also that you've arrived at a place that's right for you to have it!

So great.

(It's really early and my eyes aren't properly open yet, but did I read going away for a month with carry on only?)
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