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Hey Life - give me a break.

Hey Life - give me a break.

@PeppiPatty - regarding my story - it probably warrants a thread of its own. Really needing my friends@Shaz51@Faith-and-Hope@Determined@Former-Member@Former-Member@Anony18@outlander@Former-Member @PhoenixRising @Former-Member

Sexually assaulted at age 13. Have never told my family.

Went to uni and moved away afterwards for work so fully independent then.

Came back to my home town after a couple of years.

Had a couple of serious relationships and ended up marrying a narcissist used car dealer (say no more) Basically raised my kids by myself. At 40, he had a fling with a married 19year old who already had a two year old child. He fathered a child with her and I found out some time later when I discovered he was paying child support payments. Stayed in this loveless marriage until the kids had finished school, then divorced which was nasty and I suffered financially big time. Had loaned his business money but didn't have anything legal drawn up. He also moved a lot of money around and had an overdraft on our home.

Got into a relationship with someone who was actually interested in me and shared common interests. It was the best and worst time of my life. He fits all the criteria of BPD. Moved interstate to be with him. The relationship became volatile and he physically assaulted me. This is when I became involved with this Forum. On one occasion, a neighbour called the police and he was arrested. They saw my injuries, he admitted guilt and he was imprisoned. I stood by him all during his incarceration, funding an appeal and he was released after eight months only to be deported as he wasn't an Australian citizen. I joined up with him overseas but the assaults continued. He got sporadic help for his MI but wasn't committed to getting better.

Eventually after yet another particularly bad assault and having the police involved, I returned to Australia and that was four and a half months ago. He appears to be serious about managing his condition now, taking medication, going to support and counselling sessions and hopes that I will return. However, all trust has been obliterated. We still have contact and that can get traumatic at times.

I started off on the Carers' side but find myself on the Lived Experience team as well. I have been having sessions with a psychologist.

Thrown into the mix is my own family. They don't know what I have been through. I used to care for my father and mother, used all my holiday and long service leave, taking time off work and eventually quitting so I could be there for them. Two of my siblings also live nearby but they were more concerned about building wealth than our parents' wellbeing so it was left to me. My father passed away and when I left to be with my partner, my mother's care was transferred to them. I feel they resented my decision but for the first time in my life I felt I was entitled to pursue happiness (not that it turned out that way) The sibs shut me out and when Mum passed away recently things went from bad to worse and as Executors of her will they scattered her ashes when and where they wanted without telling me and are responsible for distributing her estate however they see fit. There was no funeral or memorial service.

I live with my daughter and my son lives with his father. I love my kids with all my heart and live for them. I have a dog (actually my daughter's) who is my constant companion. I do a lot of walking and listening to music to escape the depressing thoughts I feel. I have no idea what to do with my life now and think it's all a cruel joke.

331 replies

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In response to: Hey Life - give me a break.

Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

Think I told you I did it when I was lost and vulnerable,it's not real.

In response to: Hey Life - give me a break.

Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

Walking is a wonderful way to clear the mind @soul and to reassess things and unwind - especially in nature I find. That's an exciting plan to travel oversea - what a wonderful idea!!!!! What interesting people you will met on your travels. It reminds me of the novel Eat, Pray and Love. It must be liberating to be so independent - what a wonderful way to evolve that I could only dream of. The world is your Oyster with limitless possibilities. Hold onto those thoughts 🤗💕

In response to: Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

Not sure that I'll achieve all the things that Julia Roberts did in that movie but you never know @Former-Member. I have the book actually, maybe I should re read it.

In response to: Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

@soul - Yes!!! ❤️

In response to: Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

Hello @soul

How was your day? 😊

In response to: Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

It was better @Former-Member. Thanks for asking. I had things to distract me so that helped. Hope yours was good.

In response to: Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

@soul

In response to: Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

Thanks @Former-Member.

In response to: Hey Life - give me a break.

Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

Hi @soul

Families and your mother's estate - wow toxic - I know - my sister took over everything - she did have my parents' POAs and was one of the executors of their will and yes - it seems things were just as narky in your family as they were in mine and I really feel for you

No matter what you have to offer it's rail-roaded and it seems the power does corrupt -

And it hurts

And not being told when the ashes are being interred or scattered or whatever - I don't understand why people need to hurt like that but alas - they do - I have no idea what they get out of it -

About the DVD's - can your sister not send them snail mail? It seems to me your family is fractured as mine is - and it also seems you have decided to move on - as I have actually done - but it is sad

So sad - I have no idea what motivates people at times but why?

I don't think I will ever have the answer the answer to that - and I feel for you - at least we are not alone with family toxicity

I am wishing you the best and hoping that moving on will be as good for you as it has been for me - hard yes - but worth it

Dec

In response to: Hey Life - give me a break.

Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

Hi @soul
Big wave
Darcy
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