anxiety

Dear @Former-Member

It is hard and I cant say how it will turn out, but all we can do is our best .. the most gruelling bit is over and it certainly better to wait til you can enjoy your champagne whenever that might be .. totally your call.

It stirred me up reading your posts, but it was appropriate. Part of the reason I was restrained in my views is that I went through the "discredit the mother's parenting ability" twice with my ex .. first he used me to side with him and then 16 years later he ditched me... I am not really sure whether he really cared about me as he has a problem feeling positive feelings for people .. sexual exitement on the other hand ... hmmm .. when will the boys grow up.

Once things calm down both parties may make calmer decisions. One day at a time .. we cant tell what the future will bring.

Its probably heal and recover time and when that has helped .. then part time.

Thank you everyone,

sorry i've been so overwhelmed with this all. Unfortunately the trial is still going but the judge will be summing up on Friday and then the jury will go out. its been so hard and i wish it was already over with. but i did spend some time speaking with a family court person who helped to calm down some of my main fears but im struggling a lot.

thank you for your support it has helped to have somewhere to let it out a bit, I'm sorry that it has affected people though i didnt mean to bring up stuff for other people,

Lj

@Former-Member

Oh you are an angel...

Nothing is more important than you knowing that you will get through this and we all want you to stay strong. 🐏🐢🐦🐤🐣🐭🐕🐶🐦

hope very much that you have a lovely rest this weekend. The only memories you bring up is.....oh, that time was difficult.....now I know what has developed in his life compared to mine I can laugh ....or even move on......

Blessings to you,

Anne

Woops mistake .. sticking keys .. I meant Party Time

Thank you Anne ( @PeppiPatty ) , and @Appleblossom @Jacques @Mazarita

trying to stay on top of things/feelings, but feeling so worn out. have emailed and booked an appt with my psychologist and just have to work out the budget to pay for it now. hoping that will help too, as well as being 'here'. the anxiety is so bad at the moment. constant chest pain but trying to do the mindfullness thing and just 'know' its there and ignore it. but finding it hard to keep up with normal house work. so behind. must try harder now.

lj

Hi lj, sounds like it's been massive week but my goodness...YOU got through. It makes sense that you'd be feeling worn out after all of that. So glad you are practising some self care by following up with psychologist and trying to stay "here". I probably shouldnt say this but sometimes house work just needs to be forgotten I reckon and you looked after. Movie with the kids sounds like definitely the go. They will remember that not whether the dishes were done .

(I'm conscious it's not always easy to let go of this part of ourselves but maybe just for today. Weather too bad for housework anyway )

Take care of yourself

I agree with @Former-Member and keep coming back to natural processes .. the ebb and flow of life. Busy periods etc ..

My garden is atrocious at the moment because we have 5 (different skills) major performances this month. Ooooops I hope my studio parents forgive me .. I just keep my studio approximately tidy.Three days I go I came home and son had taken over studio for recording purposes.. I felt like screaming because I had just set him up in another part of the house .. but you just have love them and be happy when they are inspired to do stuff ...

I cant do as much as a fit person or 2 people. As a single mum you @Former-Member know how hard it is to run a household that should have 2 able bodied souls pulling together. I claim the right to enjoy gardening when the weather gets better and do it then.

For a long time i angrily said to myself I will clean my oven, do my taxes and then DO IT. Deferment of my own suicide and anger at the established respectability that did not care about my loved ones. BUT .. I have actually started to look forward to that time of year when I get out and muck about in the dirt after winter. It is HUGE because it is the sort of thing that means I am breaking through my suicidality naturally. Not forcing myself to think of others things cos it will hurt my kids most if I do it. I also got excited recently because I wrote of my bucket list on another thread .. which means I have finally developed a positive sense of my own future ..

thankyou @Appleblossom you are right, staying in the here and now.. and developing a sense of future is important.. The jury has been out for 5 hours now so they are obviously finding it hard to come to a majority... but at least i feel better feeling that some of them 'believe' and that the evidence is there... makes me feel somewhat validated at least... which i know shouldnt be necessary because i know the truth but...

lj

Glad some recognition of your abuse experience is jamming and slowing the legal process ..

Domestic violence situations shouldnt be addressed one relationship/household at a time. It is a social as well as individual problem.

You are a teacher too so you know enough about your kids' developmental milestones and needs .. parents are people too .. most mature people I know recognise family life as messy and ongoing .. day by day

One parent just left the front door and told me not to worry about my long grass .. another student coming soon

Bye for now @Former-Member

We are thinking of you.

Hi @Appleblossom @Former-Member @PeppiPatty @Jacques @NikNik @hiddenite

He was found guilty of one count of aggravated assault out of the nine charges that were laid against him. The prosecutor was amazed that he was only found guilty of the assault as another type of assault occured at the same incident but at least he was charged with something. This means he can not go back to teaching and it will make a big difference in family court to help me protect my children. I am relieved but i am also scared. He has already stated that he will appeal. So i may have to go through the trial again in 3 months time. but for now... tonight... i feel vindicated.. if thats the right word. and relieved that i was believed, despite the horrible things they said to me. my brain is chatotic tonight though and things are going arround and around my head. so need to slow down and breath..

lj