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anxiety

Unknown userMember06 July 2015, 2:47 pm AEST

anxiety

I have big things happening over the next few weeks and they terrify me. I'm going to court to testify against my ex husband who was abusive. Its been two years since he was arrested and i just want this over iwth now but i have no idea how to get through this. Ive been feeling so anxious over the last week and its building up. I have a constant headache now and getting chest pains which i know is just the anxiety but still scares me. I am doing breathing exercises when ever i notice it getting out of control, i've been trying to do more exercise when i feel like i just want to curl up in a ball, and im doing the muscle relaxation strategy thing once a day (it was suggested i do it minimum of 2 a day, but can't until i put the kids to bed!!). all of these things help to relieve things from an 8/9 out of ten to maybe a five out of ten for a while, but the anxiety feels like its always there. i'm horrified at the thought of telling so many people the specifics of what happened, but more terrified at how they are going to question me to discredit me. There are a few things from my teenage years that i did that im so ashamed of that are going to be brought up and will probably sound terrible and theres a very low chance of him being convicted but i have to do this to try and keep my kids safe 😞

Has anyone else had a similar time that they've been terrified of something thats coming up, how did you cope, what did you do to cope?

85 replies

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In response to: anxiety

JacquesSenior Contributor27 July 2015, 9:35 pm AEST

Re: anxiety

Hi @Former-Member, that is fantastic news, even thoguh he was only found guilty of 1 count at least it is something, you are such a brave strong woman, your family and children should be proud of the fact you stood up to him, even though it was hard. try not to focus on what might be, you will only work yourself up, now he is found guilty their is no way the children will be given to him, so don't worry.

Now is time for you to spend some quality time with the kids, and wind down, you have done your best and that is all anyone can ask of you.

Take some time now to car for yourself, have a nice bubble bath, or read a book or go out for a coffee, time to enjoy the simple things again.

I wish you all the best for the future, you are an amazing woman and their needs to be more women like you to stand up and say enough is enough, men can't do this to women.

Take care

Jacques

In response to: anxiety

PeppiPattySenior Contributor27 July 2015, 9:35 pm AEST

Re: anxiety

Dear @Former-Member

I feel like......he got charged with something.....wow!

Now you can relax....see relief in your beautiful children.

.....that its very fab. That he's been charged. FOR CENTURIES, womens feeling have not been taken into consideration....

It gets worse.......for instance....my Dad, your parents, never even took Anyones feelings into consideration besides their own.

But You perceviered.

In response to: anxiety

AppleblossomSenior Contributor27 July 2015, 10:34 pm AEST

Re: anxiety

I am so glad that it partly went your way. Hoorah. Yes there need to be consequences when big boys misbehave. So he was a teacher too .... Misogyny and violence are no longer acceptable.

You have a totally normal response to an abnormal situation. The courts need to look at a lot of factors.

Do whatever you need to do for you and the girls in these weeks.

In response to: Re: anxiety

NikNikSenior Contributor28 July 2015, 8:31 am AEST

Re: anxiety

Amazing news @Former-Member!

You have done an amazing job at pushing through a really tough situation. You must be proud of yourself.

Time to breathe, look after yourself and regroup.

Really really relieved and happy for you.

Nik

In response to: Re: anxiety

Unknown userMember28 July 2015, 2:14 pm AEST

Re: anxiety

Thank you all,

i am feeling relieved... but im a bit scared that he's going to retaliate because for the first time his world is now falling apart, and he's acted so sure of himself these past two years that he'd done nothing wrong and that nothing was going to happen to him and constantly said i would lose everything if i went ahead with it all.

but im glad that i got through it and maybe ive learnt that im tough enough to get through this and whatever the fall out is that happens now...

i do kind of wish that he'd been found guilty for more of the charges, only so that for a while at least i didnt have to worry about seeing him and knowing that the kids wouldn't have to see him unsupervised. but.. as i've been told a dozen times... i need to just take things one at a time.

so for this afternoon, im just going to relax and breathe and focus on being a little bit proud of myself.

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