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Something’s not right

anxiety

anxiety

I have big things happening over the next few weeks and they terrify me. I'm going to court to testify against my ex husband who was abusive. Its been two years since he was arrested and i just want this over iwth now but i have no idea how to get through this. Ive been feeling so anxious over the last week and its building up. I have a constant headache now and getting chest pains which i know is just the anxiety but still scares me. I am doing breathing exercises when ever i notice it getting out of control, i've been trying to do more exercise when i feel like i just want to curl up in a ball, and im doing the muscle relaxation strategy thing once a day (it was suggested i do it minimum of 2 a day, but can't until i put the kids to bed!!). all of these things help to relieve things from an 8/9 out of ten to maybe a five out of ten for a while, but the anxiety feels like its always there. i'm horrified at the thought of telling so many people the specifics of what happened, but more terrified at how they are going to question me to discredit me. There are a few things from my teenage years that i did that im so ashamed of that are going to be brought up and will probably sound terrible and theres a very low chance of him being convicted but i have to do this to try and keep my kids safe 😞

Has anyone else had a similar time that they've been terrified of something thats coming up, how did you cope, what did you do to cope?

LJ

85 replies

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In response to: anxiety

Re: anxiety

I agree @Former-Member Oxymorons are being used in therapy .. we just have to figure out how.. I believe children should have at least 25 years to figure out right and wrong. Ther latest nueroscience says frontal lobes are not complete tiol then .. and then there is the growing awareness of nueroplasticity, beyond the mere developmental issues

it is a complex society and though the Jesuits made over-generalisations about educating boys at 7 we have come a long way since then.

In response to: anxiety

Re: anxiety

Hi lj

my thoughts and best wishes are with you. Try and break your days into smaller more manageable pieces.

Keep trying 1800 respect. They are a wonderful support who with provide you with the support you need.
I understand that it takes so long to get through online but it is worth the wait.

If you wait until 8:00 lifeline has an online service that you don't have to wait as long.

good luck tomorrow

take care
karen

In response to: Re: anxiety

Re: anxiety

thank you everyone,

I'm so scared this morning which is so stupid because.. at the end of the day... no matter what is said.. i'll still be me, i know what happened and nothing/noone can 'hurt' me (physically at least) in court. but its so hard. I have a pounding headache left over from migraine. please let it be over with today, i really dont want to go back again tomorrow. now to focus... and get kids to school and care... on time even.. and me to court.

@hiddenite i did do 1800 respect last night but it took an hour and a half to get through on the chat and then 20 minutes into chatting i accidently closed the box somehow and i couldnt face waiting again and felt so bad, then thought maybe theyd think i just left the chat on purpose AGH! stupid brain! but the person was helpful and nice. they are a great service. hope you are doing ok,

lj

In response to: Re: anxiety

Re: anxiety

I really just want to sit and hide, im so tired, and this process is so truly unfair and cruel.

lj

In response to: Re: anxiety

Re: anxiety

Hi @Former-Member,

I've been thinking of you today and yesterday. It's natural that you might feel gutted by some parts of the court process, or the whole thing. Be as gentle with yourself as you can. No matter how bad you are feeling, you are getting through this experience.

In response to: Re: anxiety

Re: anxiety

Dearest Karen,

Your a very caring lady....aalll loveable.....

@Former-Member

Just wanna write, im going through my lwn stuff at the moment but no matter what, thinking of you little blue bird lady.

You are worth it.

You are still writing.

You still care for your little children.

Keep on writing. The magistrates have all seen this before. One day less to deal with it,

Be well, Anne

In response to: Re: anxiety

Re: anxiety

Thank you,

a lot of the stuff the defence lawyer say just hurts so much, being called a liar i expected but being told i couldnt love my child or that i placed them in anger. they even know the names of the medication i take and used that to make me sound deranged. They said i'd be done by end of yesterday but hopefully today. please let it be today.

lj

In response to: Re: anxiety

Re: anxiety

i am done. my part is done, now there will be other witnesses and things. its all a bit of a nightmare. but its done. im feelng so flat. the system makes it so hard. i didnt get to tell everything that it was like. just answer their questions. and it feels more like my life is on trial. i truly feel discredited. as the system means for me to be.

but it is done. i've done what i can. and i outlasted their questions and accusations. i cant say i did it strongly but i made it through it. so there to them! (imagine my tongue sticking out).

lj

In response to: anxiety

Re: anxiety

Hi lj
congratulations you did. Im so proud of you. You should be too. What a truly courageous woman.
thinking of you
Karen

In response to: Re: anxiety

Re: anxiety

Dearest lj

You've done it! And you will see the relief in your beautiful kiddies too!

The beginning of you....moving on. Am so proud of you.....you can be like a tall daisy growing in the ground......when the wind is strong, rain pours down...... the daisy bends in the wind and dark clouds and rain.....

When The storm subsides, the sun comes out, calm enters the atmosphere. Colours of white blue, green, yellow deepen in glow.

Xx

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