FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Something’s not right

When everything starts crashing.

When everything starts crashing.

Do you ever feel like your standing infront of your self watching your world crash?

Do you feel like you are losing control but know you can't stop it and just have to let it happen?

That's how I'm feeling. I feel like I have no control and I can see everything in slow motion falling apart but I can't do anything about it.

I'm trying to keep busy and going but it's just making me manic and hardcore panic attacks and as soon as I stop I start to cry and think what's the point of life.

I reached out to friends but they don't care. They all have children and jobs now and I understand they are busy but be nice if they came over and just gave me a hug and we watch trash tv and eat cake.

My husband just keeps going ok ok ok ok ok ok ok I understand. But how can he really understand. I just don't feel supported by him. I keep telling him I'm breaking I need to slow down but he's like you will be fine.

I know I'm breaking and it's going to be a mess. And I hate I can't stop it.

I tried a new drug today. I'm scared of medication as I hate being dependent on it. I tried a quarter of what the doctor wanted me to take. I felt like I had 5 shots of Tequila and a relaxent all in one. My hands started to fly in the sky and my panic levels went crazy. So I was like no just think you have had a drink and that calmed me down but I can still feel it playing in my mind.

I feel like I can't live a functional life with out medication. I try so hard and I'm sussceding in so much of it but it's burning me out and I know this fall that's about to happen is going to set me far back. Life on pills just makes me feel dumb and slow and what type of life is that.

I'm just starting to think what type of life am I going to have?

I read an article on people with deppresion and it's like of nothing makes you happy including medication and therapy you should just live for others. That upset me so much. It's like you got no hope so help others you empty person.

This week to 5 of my friends have moved to Europe and 3 announced their pregnancy and I'm just like look at everyone moving forawd and I'm stuck and frozen. I'm trapped.

112 replies

71 - 80 of 112
1...789...12

In response to: When everything starts crashing.

Re: When everything starts crashing.

I spoke to soon. I just feel sick and got zero appetite and my anxiety levels are high high. I think I'm going to give it a few more days and if the sick feeling gets stronger not weaker good bye to these pills. Also doing nothing for my head. But I assume I need to be patient. I'm over this.

In response to: When everything starts crashing.

Re: When everything starts crashing.

Been on my new medication for nearly 2 months. A lot of the highs are leaving but the depression oh man the depression. I just can't deal. It's physically hurting.

In response to: Re: When everything starts crashing.

Re: When everything starts crashing.

Hi @Former-Member
sorry to hear that the depression isnt lifting... Is there anything that helps at all? Glad that the highs aren't as bad. I'm not sure what your mi is? I have major depression and find that when im in a bad slump nothing really helps until it shifts a bit, but then trying to be more active and keeping up with a routine tends to help a bit... but it also doesnt seem to be going away completely 😞 am over it too...

In response to: When everything starts crashing.

Re: When everything starts crashing.

Hi @Former-Member sadly I'm the same and nothing really lifts it. It just has to run its course. I have Bipolar 1. My whole life is routine due to the bipolar. I'm just wanting it to lift or go away.

And I'm getting so mad at it. It hurts. And I'm telling my husband and doctor and going it hurts I feel depressed. And all they can do is give me the sad eyes that's no good we are hear for you. And I know that's all they can do but I'm over that response. I want something straight away that takes it away. I want a quick cure. I don't want sad eyes I want it gone. It's hurting

In response to: Re: When everything starts crashing.

Re: When everything starts crashing.

yeah, i am hearing you on the sympathy really not helping much. I'm glad you have your husband, though that must be some pressure in itself at times..
I really wish there was a medication that worked completely 😞 sigh...
@Former-Member

In response to: When everything starts crashing.

Re: When everything starts crashing.

@Former-Member I hope you're doing better. I go through some pretty rough peaks and troughs even though my medications are supposed to sort that out. My turning point was I found a psychiatrist who seems genuinely interested in my wellbeing. I look forward to my fortnightly appointments. Some weeks that's all I have to keep me going. I am a self Harmer and I have no self respect or worth so I know how bleak things can be. Going backwards sucks big time and unfortunately we all do it. I hate it and it shouldn't be so hard but we are tougher than we think. I forget that. In the bad times I have to try and remember 'find 1 thing that is good' even if that is going outside for 2 minutes and standing in the sun.
Anyway enough of my ramblings and I hope you're ok. ❤️

In response to: When everything starts crashing.

Re: When everything starts crashing.

Hi @Sakurapuss. Thanks for your reply. That's great you get along with your psychiatrist and look forward to the meetings. Unfortunately for me I don't do well in those settings yet. They want me to be stable on medication before we start discussing stuff.

That's good you can try find the good in the day. Unfortunately I'm far from there. I'm literally in robot mode. Wake up eat work fake smile the usual. Just wish it would end and I could feel true joy.

In response to: When everything starts crashing.

Re: When everything starts crashing.

I just keep thinking I can't feel any worse and boom. Why dose that happen? Why don't I think I can't get any worse. I tried to take my life before! Of course I can feel worse then this.

Why dose depression bring physical pain. Isn't it bad enough we feel like crap let alone actually physically feeling it.

I just need this to lift.

In response to: Re: When everything starts crashing.

Re: When everything starts crashing.

Hi @Former-Member
sorry things feel so bad at the moment, hope today could be a better day for you. Here its actually supposed to be a nice day, and there is blue sky! Need to do so much stuff though! do you have any plans/distractions on for today?

In response to: When everything starts crashing.

Re: When everything starts crashing.

You lucky nice weather @Former-Member. When I'm from it's cold with a side of freezing. Hopefully you get through your stuff. Nope I'm just working today. Gone into robot work mode. But I just can't wait for the day to be over so I can sleep.
71 - 80 of 112
1...789...12