Struggling to Survive

Oh my beautiful @Maggie - you made me cry - even before I read your words. That is very special

@Former-Member @Maggie haven't read posts (other than song) yet - will do soon.

Sending you both love and hugs for now

@Former-Member I'm not good enough either. It's not just the people outside that say it, it's the words that come from inside myself. Those voices from the past that still speak so loud today. You are good enough for me, not just words @Former-Member true. I don't say things I don't mean, I've been hurt too many times. You know you're not alone don't you. We're standing with you @Former-Member. Warm hug my friend, warm hug.

@Former-Member

@Maggie @Former-Member I feel like all 3 of us not alone in being alone becasuse we have each other here

I have some really close 'friends' on here that I never thought I would ever have in my life and I feel safer here than anywhere (especially irl) and both of you are a part of that. You are both good enough for me - infact I see both of you as more than good enough - you are amazing in my eyes. You have both supported me, sat with me and shared with me (and each other), and that is GOLD to me. Each of us feel so alone and defeated in our lives but when we are together I feel we are stronger, accepted and loved - what more can we ask for my beautiful Maggie and Li1

@Former-Member A little life is not much to ask. I made all the wrong choices because of an abusive childhood. Kept running looking for something, someone, everyone left, including MH professionals. Just made things worse. I have a little dog, she's my lifeline, the love of my life. Yes I do believe she loves me, as much as I love her. Do you have a fur baby?? Sitting with you @Former-Member enjoying the company.

Two cats @Maggie,as stated on this site,without them I wouldn't be here only thing I wake up for and need me.I get distressed when I think of losing them, especially my male.

Would love a dog again,grew up with several,always said they were my best friends,might sound queer to some,but they were.

Sorry you had a abusive childhood, something went wrong with my nurturing .I blame my mother for a lot of my mental illness,her selfishness but mostly putting shit on my shoulders to avoid dealing with the truth or life.

@Zoe7,I have no friends,I avoid the ones I know through anxiety .I can't talk to anyone because I can't trust them to keep it private and don't like discussing my life like yesterday with the doctor anymore.

The mental health nurse I was with for over three years I heard I "lacked intimate relationships"which is all he must've wrote as I heard it from three different doctors. ,third time something clicked in my brain,and next morning txted him and said I wasn't going to see him again.I can't see how that is "help"when it was "humiliation?".I'm still traumatized through this as I thought a lot of him,too much .Tried a psychologist after him but that was humiliation too.

I only feel comfortable talking here,too violating in life.

@Former-Member The same with my fur baby, all I get up for. Real life relationships for me just always go wrong. I don't know why as they just leave without saying a word. Might be I'm always anxious, just don't know, and now don't care. But there are those lonely times when I wish I had a true friend, someone just to sit with. I'm not a talker, a thinker..I think. Lol..My mother never dealt with her issues either, under the carpet is where they went, and on my shoulders. Lack of nurture is a primary need. No wonder things have gone wrong. Do you ever feel like you are a child still, with emotions you are just learning about. Scary stuff but real. I'm going to lay down. I don't sleep much, but need to lay flat and watch the sky. Good night. Hope you manage some sleep. Pat for the babies.