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Struggling to Survive

Struggling to Survive

When life has no meaning, no purpose - it is a constant struggle to confront each new day and manage to ‘function’. Detachment from reality is my best defence. Without the emotional connections I am able to survive. The smallest of distractions can send me into a spiral that leads to unwanted and harmful thoughts. Feelings become amplified to the point of physical discomfort. The world closes in and seems to trap me in a never ending dark spiral. I can’t see the way out as I am tossed and turned, battered and bruised. The wounds are internalised and the struggle continues!

So I need to be alone as that is my only certainty for being safe – safe from disappointment, safe from conflict, safe from being let down, safe from violence, safe from further hurt. But when there are few distractions and your mind has time on its own to think, the freedom of space begins to close in. When you realise that the only people in the world that actually know you exist and care about you are the ones that you are isolating yourself from then the heartache and loneliness is magnified. If I was one cube of ice in an avalanche nobody would see me – it would make no difference if I were not there – the avalanche would continue regardless. I am one tiny, insignificant part of the universe that would soon be forgotten – in the wider scheme of life – I may as well not exist!

1293 replies

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In response to: Struggling to Survive

Re: Struggling to Survive

I know you do @Zoe7. But this stage isn't going to last forever. Your psychiatrist will find the right balance for you of medication and therapy. Then you will start to live. I know it.

In response to: Re: Struggling to Survive

Re: Struggling to Survive

I was doing ok - snuggled up with Toby and hoping for sleep. Now I am wide awake again and beyond the point where I care. I have asked my mother not to call me at night - she knows that is when my voice is the worst - but she continues to do it - and I'm the 'bad' one for not being able to talk. How many times do you have to say the same thing for it to get through? She wanted to see how I was - how do you think I am when I can't f***ing talk properly in the cold night air but you phone me - seriously - and I am the one left feeling bad about it - and she is one of the reasons I won't end it myself - how messed up is that - what is the point!

In response to: Struggling to Survive

Re: Struggling to Survive

@Zoe7 you sound so frustrated with your Mum as she is not listening to you take it easy try and settle again hope sleep comes soon for you love💗 pepsimax

In response to: Re: Struggling to Survive

Re: Struggling to Survive

There you are @Zoe7 😀 glad you popped up just now. So 'get' the mother frustration thing. Its hard yo know of they forget, just don't care or deliberately do what we do want. Asking g my mum not to ring at a certain time is like taking a red flag to a bull. I asked her once why Abe has called about trivia when I specifically asked her not to - she replied "I'm not gonna be dictated to by you or anyone" Yep, tjays my mum. Mpt long before my breakdown in my 20's I worked 6am starts M- F and did Church music and Sunday School Sundays do Saturday was my only sleep n day. I asked m to please mpt ring me those mornings. But she did several more times, sometimes 6am, until I learned to take the phone off the hook. Trouble was doing that ate me up on the inside with guilt, drove me mad. I was so mixed up and unsupported. So, yes Zoe, know how it is. Since mums diagnosis of terminal cancer and my phone upgrade to enable me to block numbers - I have more control of the times and she had other things on her mind.

Try shake it off now, what's done is done. Like my mum she'll not change now, just have to protect yourself at night, turn ringtone off, hopefully shell ring back in the mornings.

What you been doing today. I posted on the Project Thread but doing other things today - mending, dishes, cooked cake, cleaned oven/stove, dishes, reading.

Hugz💕

In response to: Re: Struggling to Survive

Re: Struggling to Survive

I posted on project thread a while ago to you @Former-Member also.I haven't done much at all today - went out to get a newspaper and have been on the couch the rest of the day - too tired and too 'down' to do anything else. I was just holdng it together then she called - now I am back in the darkness not caring about anything again. I continue to get through each day, endure the nights and start again the next day - I don't want to keep living like this. Some of the people I am 'protecting' are those that have caused me the most pain but the alternative would be far worse for not only me but many other people - I can't be the cause of that - so as much as I want to give up and give in to how I am feeling - for now it doesn't seem an option - but I so wish it was. If 'an accident' happened then that would be the ideal scenario.

In response to: Struggling to Survive

Re: Struggling to Survive

I off have similar thoughts @Zoe7, including that last one. Nobody really knows the agony you're living but you. Nobody can really rebuild the steps out of the pit but you. Recently I have had many of the same thoughts but fear expressing them as well as you do in case it empowers them even more. This winter I have been tempted to give up, just stay in bed till I don't wake up, but then I realised, what if I change my mind after losing all that ground? Its so hard to scratch back lost ground, I mean really hard, and embarrassing, and hazardous, and inconsistent and... Better maintain what I have, not take away. Not sure if explaining properly. Thing is, were still here! High5 to that - that makes ius more than survivors, that makes us winners 🏆🏆

I rub shoulders with a lot of competitive people out there, its like a contagious disease. When I buy into their subtle putdowns, in making a poin how much better everyone copes than me, I feel worse about myself. Reality is, the only personbi have to be a fraction better than than yesterday is me. How do we measure that? What we do and how we think. So every day I make myself DO x4 things and at least x2 I don't want to do +that is good in the long run for me, my environment or others), no matter how small. Today I did dishes, cleaned oven (= don't wanna), and sewing and cooked cake. Not much to boast about but I am, because I achieved something.

Hope your night is settling, I'll go check Project thread after I have a break. Thanks for being here for me 🏆🌷🌿

In response to: Re: Struggling to Survive

Re: Struggling to Survive

Life feels so hopeless and empty. Nothing that I have ever achieved in my life means anything. I have worked hard to get everything I have but it means little to me now. I worked hard, pushed myself beyond normal limits and gave so much time to doing things for others - now it is just me with nothing to do and no-one to do it for and it is a very empty, isolating feeling.

My life seems to have been all about pleasing or protecting others - whether I wanted to or not - sometimes there wasn't a choice. Now all my past is crushing me, with no way out yet again. Every day is another reminder that being alive means being in pain but I continue to 'live' so that others will not feel pain. Where is the justice in that - where is the peace for me?

I can never get back the years lost to me but I can not move forward without having those memories erased - so I am stuck in a world of pain with no way out, no way forward and no peace! How does one continue to 'exist' like this and not be totally consumed by the torment within? There does not seem any point even asking this question anymore - the hopelessness is too great. Why can't it just be over!

In response to: Re: Struggling to Survive

Re: Struggling to Survive

Hi @Zoe7 it sounds like you're having a pretty bad night. I'm sorry that things are so hard at the moment. I'm a bit concerned because you mention wanting things to be over. Are you safe? Do you have someone to talk to? I know you have a safety plan and I'm wondering if you might want to do some of the things you've listed there that make you feel better?

In response to: Re: Struggling to Survive

Re: Struggling to Survive

More like a pretty bad life @Former-Member!!!

There is nothing anyone can do to help me at the moment - most things on my safety plan won't help - it is just the way it is!!! There is no-one to talk to but it wouldn't matter - I can't talk anyway!

I'll stay on the forum for a while and see how I go - hopefully I'll be able to sleep tonight.

In response to: Re: Struggling to Survive

Re: Struggling to Survive

Hi @Zoe7,

I have absolutely nothing useful to say, but I wanted you to know that I have read your post and I am sitting here with you in the darkness.

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