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Struggling to Survive

Struggling to Survive

When life has no meaning, no purpose - it is a constant struggle to confront each new day and manage to ‘function’. Detachment from reality is my best defence. Without the emotional connections I am able to survive. The smallest of distractions can send me into a spiral that leads to unwanted and harmful thoughts. Feelings become amplified to the point of physical discomfort. The world closes in and seems to trap me in a never ending dark spiral. I can’t see the way out as I am tossed and turned, battered and bruised. The wounds are internalised and the struggle continues!

So I need to be alone as that is my only certainty for being safe – safe from disappointment, safe from conflict, safe from being let down, safe from violence, safe from further hurt. But when there are few distractions and your mind has time on its own to think, the freedom of space begins to close in. When you realise that the only people in the world that actually know you exist and care about you are the ones that you are isolating yourself from then the heartache and loneliness is magnified. If I was one cube of ice in an avalanche nobody would see me – it would make no difference if I were not there – the avalanche would continue regardless. I am one tiny, insignificant part of the universe that would soon be forgotten – in the wider scheme of life – I may as well not exist!

1293 replies

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In response to: Struggling to Survive

Re: Struggling to Survive

sometimes life is like that... everything triggering. I keep trying to remind myself that people have actually recovered from cptsd/depression/anxiety etc (i've read about it... sigh) some part of me still hopes for that somewhere, i probably weirdly believe it is more possible for you than for me! but i know i also struggle with self compassion/kindness, as i think i see you doing as well.

In response to: Re: Struggling to Survive

Re: Struggling to Survive

@Former-Member And I probably believe it is more possible for you to 'recover' than for me. You are younger with kids and somehow that makes me believe that there is more for you to 'live' for - to 'recover' for. I can't even remember a time when I had any self compassion/kidness - it has always been 'I am not good enough' or 'I don't deserve any better'. Soooo many years of trying to do the best I can in everything and feeling like a failure at everything - I couldn't even end my pain successfully - how messed up is that!

In response to: Re: Struggling to Survive

Re: Struggling to Survive

i know, i often feel extremely guilty because of that exact reason, that i have these two amazing little people who are truly amazing and yet i still cant pull myself completely together. i wish i could write more about this but too scared that my ex could see and use it against me. but needless to say, life is tough. having no family etc and things like that have reinforced the belief that i am somehow bad/defective and to blame for the world's/my woes. which is what my psychologist and ia re currently focussing on and i can 'see' what she is saying so clearly at the moment, but trying to shift some of the beliefs I have to where i can 'feel' them is so much harder.
im glad that we havent been successful in ending the pain. im glad that im here with you tonight.

oops forgot to tag you @Zoe7

In response to: Struggling to Survive

Re: Struggling to Survive

And I'm very sorry you are feeling that way @Zoe7. It sounds so bloody hard.

In response to: Re: Struggling to Survive

Re: Struggling to Survive

I so totally get that @Former-Member there is so much I can't write about - just like you it is really complicated and the ripple effect of saying the wrong thing that could be read by 'someone' would cause a 'tsunami'

I know the real turning point for me was when I was away and realised that Toby was ok without me - that has really swung my thinking and 'value' to anyone or anything - I haven't been the 'same' since I went to Sydney. In hindsight I shouldn't have gone - but it is too late to change that. It also triggered alot being back there after so long. I really shouldn't have went - I wasn't physically or mentally well enough to go - and I knew it as soon as I arrived.

I know I am not to blame for what has happened to me but it doesn't stop how I feel about myself - how I must have deserved it all in some way. I am always waiting for something 'bad' to happen because it seems it always does. The other side of the coin is that if only a small amount of this 'stuff' was to 'get out' I wouldn't survive the fallout - it would completely destroy me.

In response to: Re: Struggling to Survive

Re: Struggling to Survive

@utopia it is hard - so hard - I have never been able to see a life without this pain but at least I used to be able to become numb to it to get by each day - now it is so all consuming that I don't even know what day it is!

In response to: Re: Struggling to Survive

Re: Struggling to Survive

oh yes... @Zoe7 i always feel as though something bad is about to happen and so far i've been proven right on that.
I will disagree with you on one thing though, kind of anyway. 'Somehow' all the details of my mi - diagnosis and experiences and hospital stay found their way into the newspapers 6 months or so ago. i truly didnt think i could survive that or wanted to.. but i somehow did. there are still those that i come across that are... awful/awkward/rude about it but some have been either slightly awkward but kind about it or mostly have just pretended they didnt know. my boss has said a few times my experiences give me a higher understanding of the work we do situationally. i still struggle iwth it hugely.. but found out that one of my worst fears (everyone knowing the worst parts of my life) actually was 'survivable'. we dont really know what we can survive.. until we do. and we are surviving. its not much, its not living or thriving but we're here...
hugs

In response to: Re: Struggling to Survive

Re: Struggling to Survive

oh @Former-Member I am so sorry that happened - I know I wouldn't survive that - that certainly says to me that you have more strength than I do. I do agree with one thing you said though - our experiences certainly do give us more understanding and emathy

In response to: Re: Struggling to Survive

Re: Struggling to Survive

whoops - accidently posted too soon

going to say .... more understanding and empathy in our jobs - but for me my job is a trigger also - and that is where it gets really complicated.

In response to: Re: Struggling to Survive

Re: Struggling to Survive

hugs, i really wish we could actually sit down to a cuppa tea in real life, in a safe and snuggly room to chat @Zoe7 - hugs
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