Struggling to Survive

I'm still here too and feeling really alone @Sans911

That is heartbreaking @Sans911 Toby definitely knows things aren't good here - he looks sad with his mummy

The sun is nearly up and I am still here! This has been one of the longest, hardest nights to get through. I have stayed safe purely because I have not had the energy to do anything. I need to be able to sleep. If something cannot be done to help me very soon then I am going to give up. I cannot continue this suffering - I am so worn down and feel so totally defeated. All night I have forced myself to keep my eyes open so those horrible memories do not flash into my mind ...and all it took to begin the torture in my mind was the wind.

I have literally been sitting alone all night - just how the rest of my life unfolds. I really am alone here. There is no-one that can help and I have very little support. I have had to be so independent all my life, hold so much within and protect others - but no-one has protected me, no-one has looked deep inside to see the pain and no-one has ever known just how unhappy and lost I have been.

How do you keep facing every day when you do not want to be alive. How do you force yourself to get up when you do not have the strength to move. How do you 'carry on' when your whole world seems to be so very dark. I don't know, I honestly do no know

As long as I continue to be able to take a breathe, as long as I continue to be able to put one foot in front of the other, as long as I can stand up and not fall then surely there must be some hope - but I just can't see it! I am losing the fight here - bit by bit, day by day! I am losing the will to go on and I simply do not have any energy in reserve to try. I may be still alive at this point but I am definitely past the point of caring about living!

Good evening @Zoe7,

I am just swinging past to say hello. I'm guessing that you might have been in a bit of a muddle cofuddle today similar to me. Today has been a super tricky day, but it is nearly done now. I spent most of the day flying around on Lauz's island and that super helped. I feel sad that you might be feeling some extra big big feelings right now on top of the rest of your mountain of big feelings. I super hope you will come and visit in the underwater cave super soon. I superly duperly miss you when you aren't around.

Having a really terrible night. Triggered massively and I am feeling incredibly sick and scared. Tried dealing with it on my own but it is too much. It's not fair. I shouldn't be dealing with this pain. Why is the world so messed up, why do people hurt others, why do they think it is okay to make someone else so scared that they will do whatever they are told.

I see a small glimmer of hope in my life and then it is quickly extinguished. I don't know why I have had to suffer so much - why my life continues to be controlled by my past!

Years of abuse, of torture, of being controlled - and it still goes on! Every aspect of my life is governed by what has happened to me. Every minute of every day I wish my life had been different. I wish I was not alive as that would mean the pain has stopped. I can't see any hope that this will change.

Another day to remind me of what has been taken from me, another day to feel so worthless and hopeless, another day to survive knowing that tomorrow will be the same - how does one continue to 'live'like this?

@Zoe7 I can feel the pain you are in just from your words and you are right, it is not fair at all. I wish I had the answers and tell you that everything will be ok, but we both know that’s not the case. What I can do is sit with you and let you know that I am hear and I am hearing you. 💗💗💗💗