Caring for a wife with Borderline Personality Disorder- Sequel to Diary of wife’s hospital stay - holding it together for our family.

I will add that the reason she was at the gp getting the script was that she was not given a script on discharge from hospital and when she had the follow up with the pdoc a week later (it was at a clinic in our town not in his main office out of town) he did not have her file on hand and did not know what she was taking so could not write her a script.... how is that for professional.

My darling only told me this after she had almost run out then it was my problem to call the gp and try get an emergency apointment... and I still apparently don't need to know what it is she is taking... just another day in the life of determined.

That is good news @Determined about the relationship counselling. Big changes are afoot. It's what you all need to move forward in a positive way. School holidays must be winding down now at least for one of your boys. You did I mention that one of them had an extra week.

When do you resume uni and start your job? Yep - pretty slack about the meds mix up.

@soul, great news about the councilling, more so that my darling has initiated it rather than grudgingly doing it because I asked or pleaded.

S1 goes back to school on Monday and S2 has an extra week.

As much as S2 would rather be back at school it will give me a chance to spend some much needed time with him.

GP appointment went well with S2 this ave even though he did not have much to say, just have to wait now for an appointment time. It will mean heading out of town but it is a free service so that will offset the travel expense . (Between darling s2 and myself that is now 5 different mh specialists out of town) . Need to move if only we could afford to lol.

I start back at uni in 2 weeks, work starts in 3 weeks.

I also have a meeting at the uni on the weekend looking to start a mental health support group (student led). This is not for councilling just a social group giving people somewhere to connect. There is a group running at the main campus, (i am at a smaller regional branch campus), and they have wanted a presence at our campus. this is somthing that I have been keen to see started at our campus since I heard about it but only recently found someone to help out. It needs to be student led and Its certinally not something I can do alone. Will be finding out at this meeting what it intails .

Agree with @Former-Member about the relationship counselling @Determined. The two of you both have to be committed to seeing it through. Th fact that your Darling has instigated it, is a very promising factor though. It must have floored you. I hope your shock didn't show.

I recall when I suggested it with my ex husband. We were separated at the time after I learnt of his affair and subsequent child. The first appointment he didn't show up, the second one, he didn't like what the counsellor had to say and thought she was biased towards me so that was the end of that. We did reconcile sometime later but virtually lived together under the same roof as two individuals and not a couple. I think that's what attracted me to my next relationship. Here was someone who was intensely interested in me. But the eagerness of a BPD who idolises then devalues wasn't a healthy union so I found out.

I really hope that it makes a difference to your relationship and doesn't put any extra tension in a situation which already has its share of that.

Forgot to say @Determined, what a great venture the support group at the uni is. I hope it takes off and is a useful outlet for the students there and also gives you some sense of purpose by putting it together.

Hey @Former-Member hows things,

@soul @Former-Member

There is a specific reason that my darling asked about the counselling, she told me what that is, there is a fair chance that the motivation is she is hoping that this process may give her an excuse out of something and paint me as the villain, don't know what I will do if this transpires to be so, I am just trusting that her motivations are to actually fix this situation.

We have had 2 attempts at counselling so far, once with a couple from church who are trained relationship councillors, now retired, and more recently with our pastor, both times she refused to engage and I don't know why wee bothered. It didn't cost us anything but we wasted the time of busy people who genuinely wanted to help us. And I was made out to be a control freak too lazy to get a job .

I have to now work on my own attitude if this next round is going to be successful. Particularly if I perceive she is hanging me out to dry again. Don't have the emotional strength to deal with that any more .

Oh @Determined - I do so hope that the motivation is the latter and not to vilify you. I can understand your suspicions. If time and time again, a certain behaviour or trait becomes apparent, it would be logical to think that this pattern would continue.

Such a battle. I guess it takes two sides to fight. Your love for your Darling means you're still in the game but I bet you're wondering why it's so hard at times. More self care - that's all I can advise.