Caring for a wife with Borderline Personality Disorder- Sequel to Diary of wife’s hospital stay - holding it together for our family.

Hi @Determined - haven't heard from you in a while. Is everything okay?

Hi @soul thanks for checking in,

Everything is ok at the moment. As good as it gets anyway. I have just been a little down and not had the motivation to log in and contribute anything. Have so many jobs to do at the moment and achieving nothing. Just finding it hard to be bothered with anything. Hope to be back on again soon, missing my friends...

Don't know what is going on with my darling, outwardly she is doing ok. I am having trouble dealing with the hot and cold at the moment, dont know where I am withnher. At least some of the negative behaviours have settled down though so that is a relief. There are moments where she seems to be trying in certain areas then she just shuts me out again.

We went out in the boat today which was nice, S1 decided to stay home with my mum and sister, that was disappointing but it was a nice day anyway. didn't catch any fish but it was nice to just be out of the house and out of town doing something different.

Have seen your new thread and been following via email notifications, wanted to say something but at a loss at the moment, have been thinking about you and your situation though .

S2 has his gp appointment where we will be discussing a mental health assesment. Hard to know what to say... some things that are pertinent S2 does not necessarily need to hear.

We all have our burdens to carry @Determined. Some days they feel heavier than others. Just know that you are amongst friends here and if you need to take a break, we'll be here waiting for you.

You've been through a particularly difficult time and sometimes when the adrenaline runs out, it can leave us feeling drained. Having three lively boys around all the time can take its toll too. Can you sneak away and grab some quiet time to yourself? Hope you're at least enjoying the break from study.

Sorry to hear that your Darling is a bit erratic with her behaviour towards you. That must be very stressful and put you on guard constantly.

With regards to S2's appointment can you have some time alone with the dr and then altogether as well?

You'll get your mojo back. I'm certain of it. Take care.

Thanks @soul @Former-Member

Things are not too bad at the moment, I think it is more a case of everything catching up with me. Certainly can't complain with how things are going at the moment. It is frustrating feeling so low when I should be on top of everything.

Relative to the norm for the determined household things are actally good at the moment. I am just finding it hard to be social, nothing to do with my many friends here 😊 looking forward to and hoping to catch up later tonight after the children are in bed asleep, just heading into crazy hour at the moment but wanted to drop in and say hi incase I dont get a chance later.

No pressure @Determined - do what is best for you.

Thanks @Former-Member

Trust all is well for you and the hols... how is mr D going with family contact?

Chiro care is going well, feeling a change in posture already, starting to feel a little tender though as things readjust. Rather intensive program for the next 2 weeks (2 weeks in so far) than slower pace for the next 4 weeks after that. Then xrays and discussion around future care. Expect it will be at least 12 months before I am close to being back in shape. Chiro is confident he can give me some relief for symptoms that other docs have had no luck with.

It would have been interesting to measure my height before I started and again as things progress. I know I have lost 4 cm over the last 20 (ish) years. (Based on height on passport and drivers license, and more recently measurement at the hospital).

This doc checked out my spine and accurately identified a number of my symptoms without asking what they were .

@soul @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope

Had a positive outcome when darling went to the GP for some scripts yesterday. She actually asked for a referral to a relationship councillor specific to some of her struggles. Wow that was a surprise. She is going back in 2 weeks, gp is going to research someone most suitable.

We have tried this in the past (in more general terms) but she has always refused to engage other than have a spray about everything I was doing wrong and how controlling I was. I asked her about it when she came home from hospital and she told me to **** so I see this as a big positive. Just have to wait and see where it leads us.

I was hoping it would see some improvement in communication in the meantime but it would seem not. We are happy to just wait for the referral... then what? only time will tell. I am trying hard to be positive that it may lead to better times ahead for all of our family. Hard not to be impatient when it has been so long wanting change already. It is huge though that she has initiated this.