Caring for a wife with Borderline Personality Disorder- Sequel to Diary of wife’s hospital stay - holding it together for our family.

I made it a priority to let Mr shaz know I loved him everyday and that I was on his side,-- me too @Former-Member, @Determined

Sometimes I have thought about putting a question out there on the LE side asking if there are any dudes with the same Dx as Mr D to see if they could give me tips.

Perhaps posing some questions to ladies with BPD re things they would find positive for a bloke to do in a relationship might help you??? -- I thinl this is a good idea @Former-Member, @Determined, @Faith-and-Hope

@Former-Member @Shaz51 @Faith-and-Hope

Had some good support and advice from LE side when I first found the forums, may be helpful to visit again. Hesitant to ask questions that may cause upset though.

@Determined you could open a new thread with a title like “carer seeking LE help” or something. That way LE responders can come to you, or not ,....

@Determined@Former-Member@Shaz51@Faith-and-Hope

I strongly support all of you and feel that I openly display support..

I have sometimes felt that my responses are not always understood or takEn in the concept meant..not necessarily just with yourselves..

I sit on both sides and respond as myself a person who experiences both sides..

I often feel dismissed or ignored re my suggestions...this is life...not looking for sympathy here.never have done..

what I look for is ...a voice..to be heard..I want change..I do not want to hide my illness..I do not want to be treated differently.....I want stigma to be erased completely..

so I say to each and everyone of you in good faith..

why are you hesitating?

are we frightening..?

Ask ..away.. We are humans no less...

It is all about the quality of the question

There are untapped answers here for the ready...if questions are asked appropriately and of course with respect and discern..

Just a suggestion

lose the LE or lived experience coonotation ...just adding another label

@Former-Member thank you for your thoughts, I have always appreciated your thoughts and advice.

Why do I hesitate?

I am currently living under a cloud where everything I do and say causes tension hurt and negative emotions. My hesitation is not that I don't value the LE side of the forums but that I dont want to cause any upset or hurt. Especially given the nature of my current struggles. That in it's self sounds stigmatising 😞 but given my current performance at home I genuinely just don't want to upset anyone by saying the wrong thing.

I do quietly watch the le side from time to time to try and understand triggers and what people are crying out for, often this has been helpful but also triggering for myself when things have been too close to home for me.

@Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Shaz51 @Former-Member

Thought we may have had a bit of a break through this morning, in amongst a rather irrational discussion centered around our marriage was a mistake, we may as well give up we never should have married blah blah blah... ... ... I got a thank you for putting ip with me, why do you do it. 😢

Then when I thought we were getting somewhere my darling got a message from s former (imposter) friend. Evil thieving drug addict cow, wanting to reconnect. This woman almost destroyed our marriage, in many ways we still have not recovered, many tgings I sill never be able to get over. This contact brought to the surface some big emotions for me, a lot of hurt and pain. My darling went into a meltdown becausd she thought I was angry. Im not angry just hurt. Things are already shaky and then this wedge reappears 😢😢😢😭😭😭

The catilist for the contact is that our sons are likley to be in the same class next year at special school.