when is it time for hospital

ive got my gp tomorrow as well. jsut a suture check. i might meantion my medications aswell as im concerned about them but i think id rather live then go off them

Hi @outlander@Sans911

My outside scars are not from self-harm - I was attacked when I was a small child and that's all I want to say about that - it was too scary and I forgot for years - called repressed memories because I knew something terrible had happened but I didn't know what was

I remember much later - not that long ago - and that was traumatic

But internal self-harm - that is really different - at the worst times in my life I have been physcially ill with my memories - crying until I got migraine headaches and threw up - and the memories about my son's death - and when he was in Juvenile Detention and about my own family giving up on us and refusing any kind of support - it is something I could never understand and it added to everything that happened

But they have all gone now and I have moved on from it but the scar inside me is stil there after Decades -

So I have an understanding - not of the details but of the parental neglect - Dad and I made it up after a long time but things were never good between me and my mother but one thing that might help Outlander - is that my mother deeply regretted her behaviour but had lost her mind when Dad died - and suffered

But that is just my background - or a bit of it - I can't know exactly how you feel but I know the helplessness and hopelessness - and this is the battle ground and now is the chance

So yes - Thursday - you are actually doing your mother a favour by getting out of this now - but that is very much up to her - if she gets upset, angry or whatever - it's up to her

I am sure it's hard for you to see what you want to do with your life at this stage - where you are now - but when your choices are available to you - wow - there are endless things to do in this day and age - wait and see

I think of you all the time - I am reading what you write when I am in bed or out of the house so I am watching over you all the time - I wish I could hold your hand when this takes place but we know that can't happen - this you have to face alone personally

But this is your forum family - and we will be here for you - as much as possible

Believe me - it will not be as bad as you think it will be

Dec

Hi @Owlunar

ok no need to say anymore

ahh yes your the same as me, when I get memeories or get too distressed I cry and get headaches and throw up until theres nothing left of me. Speaking of which its nearly 9pm which means I have to try and get meds down, didnt last night and managed some orange juice today and a rew crackers. I just dont have an appeitie.
Which isnt helping my thoughts around getting skinny either. I done another 15ks on the exercise bike this morning then went for a walk.

I think I need to speak to her in the am and then get out of the house. For both msyelf and her.
I think of you a lot too esp when your not online. Thank you for being the wise owl watching over. I do appreciate. No unfortunatley you cnat be with me in person but you are with me in spirit

i either need to leave here or stay on very minimal threads again im triggered by another post

serve me right for wanting to help

geez!!!!!

Yes - I am that kind wise owl watching

Always thinking of you and often I have come on line minutes after you have posted something and I have not read anything on my phone -

Somehow we have a link - who knows what or how - just a lot of care and trust I think

Take your medication one tablet at a time and let that one go all the way down - I have had a bit of practice taking tablets when I have been feeling sick - yes they need to go down

Dec

I got that one - @outlander

Amazing - knew it was there just before I posted

Dec

@outlanderi don't know what has happened but maybe just stick to 1 or 2 threads. That is all I am doing. I am just talking on Night Shift with Bella3 and CheerBear and just staying there tonight. Welcome to join us.

As well as checking in on your thread!

@outlandernotifications are back on!