when is it time for hospital

Hi @outlander

That was some day yesterday and having so much tissue removed away is really a big deal - no wonder you have suppressed or repressed emotions coming out with such force

There is a difference - suppressed emotions are something you know you kept down - repressed memories etc are something you kept hidden from yourself without knowing - and I am guessing you had both - and they have an effect of rushing to the surface like a beach ball you have held under water until you let it go and it flies up and bounces into your face with the excitement of being free - something like that - and I have had this myself and I know it's totally unexpected and overwhelming and terrifying - try exhausting - wow - really something you did not expect

At my mother's funeral I had repressed memories return - this was so bad I wanted to run out of the chapel thinking I was about to throw up - but a couple of relatives held me down telling me all sorts of stuff - and it took days to recover - I am saying this because I get how you are feeling and hope it's not going to last too long - maybe today as you recover but I can tell you this

Once all this stuff has come out it will be a better place - a better world - a better life - so much comes up under even a local anaesthetic - ah sheesh - I am sorry you are going through this - or have been - maybe this is passing even now

Take today quietly - that is some scar you have there - but imagine your old memories have been taken out too - maybe you can see them more clearly and know they are memories and not you

Lots of hugs - very gentle hugs Outlander

This will take a bit of getting over but your new life is within sight now

Dec

I love the idea of being a grandmother owl - I think I have been one for a long time

Having so much work done under a local would be tough regardless of the relative absence of pain - and their prn sending you off into drowsy-land - it's still happening - it's still there

Just like your unspent emotions that are only coming out now - and they do have to - like at my mother's funeral - all I had felt for my mother that I had never been able to tell her - that in spite of herself I still loved her and stuff like that - and my memories of other stuff - and their emotions -

So I do understand - I get it - it all came up with a whoosh - smack in your face - and all at once -

Like that stuff that has been happening under your skin - you couldn't see it but it was there - and your emotions are there too and now they have started to come out too

I hope you can see someone like a psychologist about this soon - you can talk to us - to me - about these things and hopefully - like now - it comes through and you can see it

Here's a thing though - you were busy keeping your emotions under wraps for your Pop and your sisters when your Nan died and this is good in one way but in another way - not good - you need to grieve too

My sister never shares her feelings and I am sure she has them and I wish she would share - I might get to know her then - there is something really good about sharing feelings

Maybe this is why this forum works so well - we are all sharing feelings that need to be shared - and people repsond -

I never feel alone having this forum - the people I interact with - and you

Dec