when is it time for hospital

hey @outlander

what tv show was it ? I find that most tv shows are crap these days lol

I hope the results for your biopsy are clear

You are doing everything you can to sort these things out and you are to be congratulated for that much even if it doesn't feel like it

Also have you tried mindfulness/meditation music to get to sleep? Things like binaural rythms and beats are really helpful and useful.

Try to take it easy as much as you can in the next few days given everything that is going on, even if it's just to take 5 mins out and reflect on where you are at currently despite what you deal with.

You are getting there and you must remember it. It's a journey.

@outlanderIt's just a bad time for everything. There is nothing you can do about your mother going away-it is poor timing, but nothing is going to change, is it? So yes, you can get angry, you can swear, scream, but nothing is going to change your mother going away, or you having surgery at the same time. I am not trying to make you feel less than, but simply to say there is nothing going to change your situation except how you see it or feel it. I remember you saying this before. And it doesn't make everything right or even great. Nothing is magically fixed. You have to keep wading through the mud, until you finally reach the other side. If you thrash around and stomp about, it'll just get messier and take longer. But you can scream and cry at me, or anyone else. We'll listen, and we will help you wade your way through the murky mud.

Oh golly @outlander

This is the time to have the major melt-down in front of your mother - well perhas tell her quietly that this is all too much for you - and go from there

I know - I know - I know -

The day after my little car was written off in an accident the night before - and luckily the four of us got out without a mark on us - I went into delayed shock after my mother drove the children - who were babies - and me home and then left - I was shattered

And I saw her car driving up the other side of the hill toward the highway and I screamed for her to come back - of course - she didn't - and I managed somehow but it took days to get over that delayed shock

So enough about me - about you - it is really important to tell your mother how vulnerable you are right now - that you don't feel as if you can manage anything right now and beg her to stay home -

And if she doesn't - whatever happens is on her - I can hardly believe she is doing this but after knowing you for months I do believe it - after all my mother drove away and never knew how ill I was after that accident

I have the feeling your mother will not take it well and the chances are good that she will go off as she does - but what can happen? Think about that? You may melt-down but better it happens before she goes off and leaves you with the kids - HER KIDS -

Otherwise - get the older sister to look after the little sister and space yourself in the small area of privacy you have - in your bed or you care and know this is really hard

I really do feel for you right now - really have an idea of how shaky and sick you must be feeling - but I will post this and hope you mother does not leave

Dec

OMG @outlander

I wish I could be there for you

I so do

Dec

@outlanderI am sorry, I am not trying to make you feel worse. It's really hard for me to offer the right words for you sometimes ( I nearly removed the post). The last thing I want is for you to feel like I am not taking your worries, concerns, feelings seriously. I am. I am worried very much for your wellbeing at all times; what you are constantly feeling must be utterly exhausting. I so wish there were more that I could or offer. But I am like a semi-stranger watching from a distance; powerless to help except with my words and to offer empathy and a caring cyber shoulder/hug. I really, really wish one day and not too soon, you have an amazing, beautiful, happy life.