outlanderSenior Contributor
when is it time for hospital
when do you find its time to go to hospital?
im debating whether its the right move for me
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when is it time for hospital
5615 replies
In response to: when is it time for hospital
Sans911Senior Contributor
Re: when is it time for hospital
@outlander-your psychologicist may not have training or knowledge of Bpd or dbt, but it doesn't mean she can't still help you. More importantly, you need to discuss these fears with her, and perhaps you can help each other on your journey. Sometimes when we are learning new things, explaining how it works to others helps us understand it better. Also, just because she might not be so knowledgeable in some areas, doesn't mean she can't help in other ways.
Your homework doesn't sound too difficult, but sometimes when we have to look inwards and describe how we are feeling or what is happening to us, it's a little scary. At least that's how is for me. But I think I know you a little, as you're fairly open and honest in forumland.
1. Some of your triggers are your family, more so their expectations and your expectations of yourself and what roles you play in their lives.
You're also triggered by other people's perceived judgements of you; what they might think of you. This is your Bpd and your depression playing mind games with you, and feeding into your anxiety. Often you can what people think of us, and what they mean are vastly different.
2. You have lots of very effective coping strategies, like breathing, distractions, talking and supporting others.
3. Looking after the horses gives you immense pleasure. Taking care of your sisters does too, but at a cost.
I hope I have helped a little @outlander, even if it's another perspective of yourself from the outside. Sometimes we are own worst enemies, judging and blaming ourselves for the smallest indescretions. I don't judge you at all, I'm just telling you the facts. There's a difference.
I hope you had a nice time today with the horses. It's cold and rainy here in WA, and I'm quite tired, so I'm tucked up in bed this late afternoon.
Your homework doesn't sound too difficult, but sometimes when we have to look inwards and describe how we are feeling or what is happening to us, it's a little scary. At least that's how is for me. But I think I know you a little, as you're fairly open and honest in forumland.
1. Some of your triggers are your family, more so their expectations and your expectations of yourself and what roles you play in their lives.
You're also triggered by other people's perceived judgements of you; what they might think of you. This is your Bpd and your depression playing mind games with you, and feeding into your anxiety. Often you can what people think of us, and what they mean are vastly different.
2. You have lots of very effective coping strategies, like breathing, distractions, talking and supporting others.
3. Looking after the horses gives you immense pleasure. Taking care of your sisters does too, but at a cost.
I hope I have helped a little @outlander, even if it's another perspective of yourself from the outside. Sometimes we are own worst enemies, judging and blaming ourselves for the smallest indescretions. I don't judge you at all, I'm just telling you the facts. There's a difference.
I hope you had a nice time today with the horses. It's cold and rainy here in WA, and I'm quite tired, so I'm tucked up in bed this late afternoon.
In response to: Re: when is it time for hospital
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: when is it time for hospital
thanks heaps for your advice @Sans911 i really appreciate.
yes im open on here as much as i can and feel confortable about and also im as honsest as it comes jsut have to leave some things out that might give any idication of who i am.
so far ive just done the triggers list i have a freaking lot!!!!!!
TRIGGERS
KIDS- SISTERS ESP
kids crying and/or screaming even playful- esp my sisters
seeing kids scars
my sisters doing housework
sisters being sick
sisters being involved in any form of treatment
the way my sisters sit or lay down
sisters having a bad night
sisters injuries
TRANSPORT AND HEALTH
sirens
hospitals
small waiting rooms
seeing ambulance and police cars
seeing ambulance and police officers in uniforms
hospital/gp room smells
talking about health issues at all
talking about mental health
talking about my hospital stay and the addmission day
worrying about diagnoses
being in an ambulance
going to the drs
MEMORIES AND ANNIVERSARIES
talking aout my nan
the locations of the events
the dates of the events and surrounding times
dates invloving those specific people/event
seeing my sisters scar
PEOPLE
people argung at all with me or without me-seeing people on the streets aruging
seeing others in fear
seeing pain in others
meeting new people
going to new places
feeling the emotions of others
the future of others if related to me
how my decisions are going to affect everyone and their futures, and present day
DOGS
dogs barking
growling sounds
scratching sounds
accidents involving dogs
dog movies-even if only a few minutes within the movies
dogs in general
dog smells
going anywhere with dogs-even
the thought of dogs
pictures of dogs
dogs coming near me or being near me
going places involving dogs
NOISES
loud bangs
yelling
FEELINGS
being helpless
being crowded
overwhelming thoughts
ovewhelmed with feelings
WORDS
k**l
dog
ambulance
yelling help
OTHER
shadows
dark objects in the night
eing late to appintments
being overwhelmed
being super alone
fear of loosing someone close to me
draggin up the past
people who have hurt me in the past and talking about it
feeling like im being watched
feeling like im being followed
feeling like people are lsitening in to private conversations
people finding out private information
peoples percieved judgement of me
family
family expectations
family responsibilities and their expectations of me
failing to do the responsibilities
failing to be what people expect me to be
ive left out all the men ones as she doesnt know about the sexual abuse and im definently not ready to tell her that but this list is 3 A4 pages long!
next is task 2- coping strategies
In response to: when is it time for hospital
Sans911Senior Contributor
Re: when is it time for hospital
@outlander yes, you have a lot of triggers, but many of them are around the same themes. And you have really good insight onto yourself, that's a great start to figuring out how to deal with your triggers if they happen. I have a big trigger to uniforms, and I wear one, but at least mine is a soothing purple shirt which most people quite like for some reason.
I have lots of triggers too, even down to just thinking about a word can trigger me into a panic attack. I'm not too keen on dogs after being attacked 3 times, starting at the age of 3,but as I've got older, I'm able to tolerate them a bit more, so I understand your fear of them.
So you're doing well, keep going while you can. And no one else can pressure you into anything that you don't want to do or that makes you feel uncomfortable. Your psychologist and psychiatrist are just people at the end of the day.
I have lots of triggers too, even down to just thinking about a word can trigger me into a panic attack. I'm not too keen on dogs after being attacked 3 times, starting at the age of 3,but as I've got older, I'm able to tolerate them a bit more, so I understand your fear of them.
So you're doing well, keep going while you can. And no one else can pressure you into anything that you don't want to do or that makes you feel uncomfortable. Your psychologist and psychiatrist are just people at the end of the day.
In response to: Re: when is it time for hospital
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: when is it time for hospital
half of the reason while i was in hospital i was so anxious as well becasue there were triggers everywhere! from people to smells! @Sans911
ive jsut completed task 2 now
Coping strategies
1. Deep breathing- I use the 3-3-3 method. Breathe in for 3 hold for 3 release for 3 then keep repeating it – doesnt really work unless its a panic attack
2. Mindfullness- several ways I do it
A. listen to music and concentrate on one specific things such as only the words and what they mean, listen to the beat and keep up with it in mind or listening all the instruments that you can hear.
B. using the 5 senses- sight, smell, hear, taste and touch
3. Artwork- I draw anythign and everything that I feel or can come up with. Sometimes take the time out to research some sort of design to draw or get ideas by typing in a theme.
4. Take a hot shower- usually at night but I have had a few panic attacks in the shower before.
5. Keeping Busy- go and see the horses, feed the part time horses or do some paddock cleaning as well as house chores
6. SH- this does help me when SI occurs
7. Journalling- I spend some time at the end of the day to write out what ahs happened and I try to add atleast one positive to the day
In response to: when is it time for hospital
Unknown userMember
Re: when is it time for hospital
What about aerobics outlander ?, getting up dancing on your own ?If that doesn't work for me I look in the mirror naked then I know if definitely need to take a calmative!Lol😜
In response to: Re: when is it time for hospital
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: when is it time for hospital
i dont do either of those @Former-Member and lol- my mirror would break if i do that lol
bte the psychiatrist pretty much said i was putting on weight- ive actually lost 2 kg since being in and the few weeks out of hospital
In response to: Re: when is it time for hospital
Unknown userMember
Re: when is it time for hospital
I was only joking outlander,be worth it to see the look on your family members but!Lol I'm avoiding the mirror at the minute,good you've lost weight I somehow need to do it I feel awful in the stomach.Had another 10 km walk.Im a good coffee drinker but I just read it releases cortisol hormone which is what I have trouble with. Apparently magnesium may help fight the stress hormones because it relaxes the muscles so I will have to take magnesium again.
In response to: Re: when is it time for hospital
Unknown userMember
Re: when is it time for hospital
You do have some triggers girl!
In response to: Re: when is it time for hospital
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: when is it time for hospital
yeah im thinking ill go back on the magnesium as well @Former-Member ive got a few bloody tubs left. i use to buy it a few tubs at a time when they were on sale and when i checked them last they were still valid till the end of this year so im wasting money on them at least.
i know you were joking, unfortuntaley im not. i dont have mirrors anywhere near me, one look and then itll break and then ill ahve another 7 years of bad luck.
yes i have so many trigger and those are the one i can think of off the top of my head not inclduing the sexual abuse triggers.
im so pathetic. a pathetic ugly looser
In response to: Re: when is it time for hospital
Unknown userMember
Re: when is it time for hospital
Yeh I just took a tablet outlander got a bottle there,no excuse,
I could go crook at your thoughts,but I just had the same about myself outlander a few seconds ago very negative and the same "I'm a loser ,who would want me?" thoughts.Listening to music on my tablet and had them.It's shit sometimes how like I can suddenly have anxiety out of nowhere too,like in bed when I'm trying to go to sleep or on my walk etc.My triggers are various too, people I know or have worked with, people I know who I avoid in case they stick their nose in my business,,kids screaming in shops,family,I avoid them etc.
When I was bad with severe depression/anxiety and a reaction to a antidepressant,I used to find myself staring at myself in the mirror looking back it was a form of psychosis,I would get distressed looking at myself.I was lost,still am outlander,you may be alone atm,but you aren't alone in how you feel.
