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Dealing with a problem creatively

PeppiPattySenior Contributor10 June 2015, 8:36 pm AEST

Dealing with a problem creatively

Dear Lee,

Everyone

@kato

@SimpleAsThat

@Jacques

@Loopy

@redhead

@Chris
Haven't forgotten about you or anyone here.
Am caring a lot for my dear friends here......
I just don't have much emotional reserve.......
I'm having to address something very hard and I've decided to move quickly.....
It's taken lots out of me but my GP is really helping me and a policeman came to my home on an unrelated matter on Sunday and has asked me to contact him.
The policeman visit was certainly bizarre but .........welcome. It was like an angel up above touched him on the nose while he was driving down the street and he decided to drop in.........

My stalker is back. I don't have any energy to push him out of my home and he puts me down, criticises, criticises. It's too shocking to write what he calls me.

My mum has said just call the police! Just kick him out!
I say to her, to others.....' but he's told the police I have MI and they have called me and yelled at me for wasting their time! I can't.....I feel there's blocks for me everywhere.'
I'm up front that I need a lot of support but this is really awful. So, I've got 3 or 4 days to run around and get letters written for me.
I've found someone to move me and the angel of good stuff is holding my hand so I'm not obvious and patting me on the head when I go to sleep.

Thanks for reading xx @Ellie
@kristen
@allexandra1992

I went to see my GP this afternoon and begged her for help. She's written letters to get me. Moved via department of housing.

105 replies

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In response to: Dealing with a problem creatively

CherryBombSenior Contributor17 June 2015, 9:58 pm AEST

Re: Being misstreated

Hi @Troubled_One

Thought I might just pop in here to say hang tight. You sound so trained. Don't forget to take some time out to care for you.

@PeppiPatty raised a good point about calling Lifeline, so I thought I'd include the link here.

Take care.

In response to: Dealing with a problem creatively

PeppiPattySenior Contributor18 June 2015, 7:57 pm AEST

Re: Being misstreated

Dearest ,

How are you today?

I've been busy but you and people like...@Ellie and @Aenoran have been on the back of the back of my mind. Making seneciino ??

Yes, I'm now a new language making person making up a new word .....senseciino meaning sense.

Let me write what's been happening for me in the past 2 weeks and I've been mindful that I've:

Had to get up and do the work myself.
Stay thorough and centred.
Be secretive
Not care what others feel.

a few people are both giggling or wondering about my state of mind for'staying,' with this creep.

I first went to see my GP. Explained to her and she wrote a letter that I've tried:
Restraining order
Police
Community centre
Someone moving in with me to keep this person away but nothing worked to keep me safe.

the letter from the GP asked Public housing to get me a transfer ASAP. And that I have no emotional reserve left from the past 18 months of trying to get away for him.
I got letter from Community Centre to Public housing and hopefully letter from the police.

then the stalker walked into my home. He's here !! Apologising but there is an edge to his apologies it feels he cannot take total responsibility for his actions.and still blames me for his bad behaviour.

There was a twist.....this person stalking me quit drinking alcohol first time in 19 years and been clean from alcohol for 69 days and quit smoking synthetic maraunjahh. Loots more apologies. good behaviour for past two weeks.....still criticising but only late at night and getting less and less.

do I forgive him?

I don't. Yesterday. Someone called me about a transfer to a very god area so I'm hoping this can do something but at the moment, I am living my life. It very difficult because

I don't believe I should tolerate his past and sometimes abuse.
Have him in my home.

But there's nothing I can do. I feel like I'm a little girl again having to tolerate my parents bad behaviour but the difference is that I needed my mother to care for me and love me so I put up with it but I don't need this person.

If this move actually happens......I will cross that bridge when it comes to it but it will not be easy.
this stalker is very 'blame everyone not myself...'

What do you think?

In response to: Re: Being misstreated

DurangoSenior Contributor18 June 2015, 7:57 pm AEST

Re: Being misstreated

This comment has been moved by a moderator to another part of the forum where it might be more easily found by the community.

In response to: Dealing with a problem creatively

DurangoSenior Contributor18 June 2015, 7:57 pm AEST

Re: Being misstreated

This comment has been moved by a moderator to another part of the forum where it might be more easily found by the community.

In response to: Re: Being misstreated

WombatBootsSenior Contributor19 June 2015, 11:23 am AEST

Re: Being misstreated

Dear @PeppiPatty

My heart and thoughts are with you during this very difficult time.

You've said it all in your post.

You know in your heart and mind what you need to do, stay strong and back yourself.

I hope so much you get the new place, my thoughts are with you for a speedy positive outcome.

Good luck

Wombat/Matt

In response to: Dealing with a problem creatively

SimpleAsThisSenior Contributor19 June 2015, 3:13 pm AEST

Re: Being misstreated

@PeppiPatty

After reading through your post and everyone's comments... I am very worried about you!

I don't know as much about you and your situation - so I'm wondering why you're so trapped.... Especially with this abusive person. Please take care of yourself....

In response to: Re: Being misstreated

Troubled_OneSenior Contributor19 June 2015, 4:59 pm AEST

Re: Being misstreated

hey anne, i think you have a right to be concerned. after understanding you i realised that is something that is not happening between me and my family.

i hope you can get out of your situation.

@CherryBombthanks for the understanding and help with lifeline. I am seeing my mother and father tomorrow again and i think this may be the only way to sort this out.

In response to: Re: Being misstreated

PeppiPattySenior Contributor19 June 2015, 7:57 pm AEST

Re: Being misstreated

Dear @WombatBoots

Wow, thanks for your message......
It's been a rocky road. We started a relationship quickly after I left my darling husband. I feel now, thinking back that I was just really vulnerable. but, I kept on leaving, calling the police...............
But he won't go.
the very difficult thing is that I do not feel safe enough to say......leave me alone, live your life elsewhere. Every time I have done this in the past, he comes back.

I just want to disappear.
restraining orders don't work for someone like me who is too soft and vulnerable .......I don't get hit, I've been yelled at by the police by ' wasting their time.

thanks,
Ps love the message you gave on welcome Wednesday

In response to: Re: Being misstreated

Troubled_OneSenior Contributor20 June 2015, 6:36 pm AEST

Re: Being misstreated

hey anne, sorry i did not reply to one of your last messages, you asked how i was doing,

i am doing ok.

but at the moment i have a real quiver in my throat, like i am about to stop breathing at times. i think it is the depression and anxiety that i can not escape, and stress panic etc.

I am trying to deal with it. I could go on more but not today i guess.

* more on to you

i understand about your situation. you do not know how to say go away to your boyfriend or ex boyfriend. i see that it is hard to be vulnerable to this because if you do say go away he may come back and you do not want to take that risk.

maybe you need to stand up to him once and for all and say go away and mean it. it may take a big effort on your part but it sounds like the effort you are putting in already is doing you and everyone around you damage.

it may be corageous but maybe thats what you need to do?

and understand you do not need that person in your life any more.

take care. lee.

In response to: Re: Being misstreated

PeppiPattySenior Contributor20 June 2015, 7:28 pm AEST

Re: Being misstreated

Dear Lee,

Its like we are both thinking the same thought..... in that enough is enough, ive tried to get him out but i need not to be freaking out of being yelled at and just ask him to leave. I dont want to put up with daily stress anymore and then.......one day just dissappear, he has to go now.

So wish me luck. Im going to ask him again to leave.

Ille say that he doesnt do anything for himself and its been a real stress in my life being around him.

Thank you.

It sounds like you are having panic attacks......

I dont know.....have you seen a GP about this?

You might have what i have. I feel so ashamed about calling the police and othering them once two of them yelled at ke for wasting their time because

1. he told them i had mental health issues and was making it up

2. He hadnt hit me.

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