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Focussing on the positives-

DeterminedSenior Contributor

Focussing on the positives-

@Former-Member @soul @Faith-and-Hope @Shaz51 + everyone

I don't for a minute think that I am alone here but the last couple of weeks have been particularly difficult for our family with my darling quite unwell and going back into hospital for the third time in the last 6 months. I have not coped with this well at all, along with one of our children in particular, with additional unnecessary challenges added to the mix only making things worse. (The support here has been a significant help for that I am very grateful).

What I am aware of is that, while it helps to talk things through, far better to talk about things than to internalise them, it is very easy for me to get unnecessarily angry and bitter about our situation and dwell on things too much creating a downward spiral in my coping ability. It also affects my sleep.

To counter this I am making a commitment to find at least 1 positive thing that has happened and at least 1 thing to be grateful for each day and post it here. And if I can manage it, at least 1 thing that has made me laugh. (Posting it here as a form of accountability to make sure I actually do it 🙂

I had a glimmer of light on Saturday by consciously listng things to be grateful for but slipped back into the sulks on Sunday (no negatives in this thread so no explanation as to why here). So based on this I am making a commitment to consiously note these things each day.... please feel free to call me out if I dont 🙂 that woud be huge help 🙂

  1. Something postiive that has happened today.
  2. Something to be grateful for today.
  3. If I can manage it- somthing that made me laugh today.

374 replies

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In response to: Focussing on the positives-

Unknown userMember

Re: Focussing on the positives-

Then you will be at our place for quite some time @Shaz51

In response to: Focussing on the positives-

DeterminedSenior Contributor

Re: Focussing on the positives-

I would die from embarrassment if a stranger walked into our house at the moment @Former-Member
I cant believe the carnage that has been generated in the space of a week when I havn't kept on top of it.

In response to: Focussing on the positives-

Unknown userMember

Re: Focussing on the positives-

Lol @Determined Nothing motivates like having a cleaner come to get things cleared up.

In response to: Focussing on the positives-

DeterminedSenior Contributor

Re: Focussing on the positives-

It would be nice @Former-Member if little people would help out.
Bring the bin in and start loading may elict some positive action perhaps.

In response to: Focussing on the positives-

Unknown userMember

Re: Focussing on the positives-

Yep @Determined
Even with youngsters, boundary settings in expectations of cleaning up after themselves. i.e. no computer time (or tv or other enjoyable activity) until toys packed away, having fixed time for chores, but remember to put in cuddle time - even say to boys, we'll set the timer for 2 mins, let's see how much we can tidy up in that time, when done reward them with high fives, group hugs etc.
In one tidying up manual book I had the author gave each of her kids a colour (kids may have picked their own). If they wanted a drink they picked their own cup and were expected to wash and put it away. From memory, towels, sleeping bags, lunch boxes etc were all this colour, made it easier to tell whose stuff was missing too.

In response to: Focussing on the positives-

Unknown userMember

Re: Focussing on the positives-

The 2 mins needs to be a specific job, have bin or toy boxes ready, if you do this once a day you will be amazed how much can be done.

If you remind them that everyone contributes to the mess so everyone needs to help clean up.

In response to: Focussing on the positives-

Unknown userMember

Re: Focussing on the positives-

A one minute time for bringing dirty clothes put for washing - short bursts necessary - otherwise too daunting.

Theme rather than colour works to ie star wars, footy team etc

In response to: Re: Focussing on the positives-

DeterminedSenior Contributor

Re: Focussing on the positives-

Something positive:

Managed to fit in some self care today. Went for a remedial massage today. Masseur could not believe how knotted up I was. Tonight I had a soak in an eps n salts bath. Dr mum been nagging me to do that for a while now lol 😊

Something to be grateful for:

Have had a couple of discussions with my darling around my concdrns about her coming home early. She has been most receptive to my concerns and even indicated she would discuss the possibility of staying a little longer. I have sent her an email detailing my concerns that she has promised to show her nurse and dr to discuss it. I am hopefull someone may call me. Most grateful for this development.

Something that made me laugh:

Still all out of laughs at the moment. Confident for better days ahead. ☺

Thankful, Grateful, Blessed - My new mantra.

In response to: Re: Focussing on the positives-

soulSenior Contributor

Re: Focussing on the positives-

Good on you for getting a massage @Determined. I had the same reaction a little while ago about knots. I think she gave up eventually. The last massage I got put me to sleep but it was more of a relaxation one rather than remedial.

Great also that communication has improved. As for laughs, yeah, that can be tough.

In response to: Focussing on the positives-

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor

Re: Focussing on the positives-

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tntOCGkgt98

Something funny for you @Determined .....
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SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.

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