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Focussing on the positives-

DeterminedSenior Contributor

Focussing on the positives-

@Former-Member @soul @Faith-and-Hope @Shaz51 + everyone

I don't for a minute think that I am alone here but the last couple of weeks have been particularly difficult for our family with my darling quite unwell and going back into hospital for the third time in the last 6 months. I have not coped with this well at all, along with one of our children in particular, with additional unnecessary challenges added to the mix only making things worse. (The support here has been a significant help for that I am very grateful).

What I am aware of is that, while it helps to talk things through, far better to talk about things than to internalise them, it is very easy for me to get unnecessarily angry and bitter about our situation and dwell on things too much creating a downward spiral in my coping ability. It also affects my sleep.

To counter this I am making a commitment to find at least 1 positive thing that has happened and at least 1 thing to be grateful for each day and post it here. And if I can manage it, at least 1 thing that has made me laugh. (Posting it here as a form of accountability to make sure I actually do it 🙂

I had a glimmer of light on Saturday by consciously listng things to be grateful for but slipped back into the sulks on Sunday (no negatives in this thread so no explanation as to why here). So based on this I am making a commitment to consiously note these things each day.... please feel free to call me out if I dont 🙂 that woud be huge help 🙂

  1. Something postiive that has happened today.
  2. Something to be grateful for today.
  3. If I can manage it- somthing that made me laugh today.

374 replies

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In response to: Focussing on the positives-

DeterminedSenior Contributor

Re: Focussing on the positives-

It is a joy @soul Seeing S3 growing and learning I very much regret everything I missed with S1 & S2 by being overly invested in work 😞 S2 also resents that period in time based on this afternoons sometimes irrational discussion. How I wish he still had the innocence and joy that his younger brother has.

In response to: Re: Focussing on the positives-

soulSenior Contributor

Re: Focussing on the positives-

How did it go with the situation at school with S2. @Determined

In response to: Re: Focussing on the positives-

DeterminedSenior Contributor

Re: Focussing on the positives-

No discussions with the school yet @soul, principle was just getting in before S3 and likewise with the other parents to advise of the incident and that discussions with the children will be ongoing tomorrow.

Had a scattered and largely irrational discussion with S2 about it all, it would seem that he is just really hurting with mummy being away and struggling to regulate his emotions. (The incident happened during lunch break while they were waiting for a teacher). This does not excuse hitting people though, and there is ZERO excuse for hitting girls, don't care what they did to him or how much he is hurting, that is unacceptable. I was somewhat unsympathetic Im afraid in that regard and he missed his visit with nanny this afternoon because of it. I did convey this with as much love as possible though. Just have to wait and see what tomorrow brings.

In response to: Focussing on the positives-

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor

Re: Focussing on the positives-

@soul ..... do you mean I have to give up running and shrieking now ..... ??

😳

In response to: Re: Focussing on the positives-

DeterminedSenior Contributor

Re: Focussing on the positives-

Day 4. 1 June

Something positive...

Made it through another day.

Something to be grateful for.

Mum willing to drive me down for my appointment and to visit my darling.

Got another platter of food from the school p&f. (Was a card enclosed this time so I know who to thank).

Something that made me laugh...

All out of laughs again today, better luck next week.

In response to: Re: Focussing on the positives-

soulSenior Contributor

Re: Focussing on the positives-

Two out of three ain't bad @Determined. Nice to see that your family isn't going hungry.

In response to: Re: Focussing on the positives-

DeterminedSenior Contributor

Re: Focussing on the positives-

@soul wrote:

Two out of three ain't bad determined. Nice to see that your family isn't going hungry.

Agreed @soul :face_with_rolling_eyes:

In response to: Re: Focussing on the positives-

DeterminedSenior Contributor

Re: Focussing on the positives-

Day 5:

Something positive:

Feeling so much better than I was an hour ago.

Something to be grateful for:

Sane forums, I dont know what I would have done tonight without this space. I would have survived, it would have been sooo much harder is all. Just to be able to talk to someone (or type as it was in this case, was unable to even talk earlier) has been a huge relief. Special thanks to @soul for all of your help and time tonight. (And earlier today) Always here to return the favor if needed.

In response to: Re: Focussing on the positives-

DeterminedSenior Contributor

Re: Focussing on the positives-

Grateful for the love shown by people who don't even know us that well. Was told tonight that someone has offered to help clean our house. Wow, dont know what to say. This is on top of some meals that have been provided. Very humbled by it all.

In response to: Re: Focussing on the positives-

DeterminedSenior Contributor

Re: Focussing on the positives-

Something that made me laugh...

@Faith-and-Hope wrote:
@soul ..... do you mean I have to give up running and shrieking now ..... ??

😳

The image of @Faith-and-Hope running around the house shrieking- in her floral pj's (see hot choc thread re the pj's)

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SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

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