Grief & loss - may be triggering

My psych has wanted me to spend time in cafes or shops (in my own time), she has suggested that too.

Maybe her idea is to feel a "sense of community" (like you said), but she doesn't tell me her reasons.

I have virtually never done that, because I cannot stand the idea of sitting in a cafe on my own, I just don't like it at all.

I never buy a coffee or any drink when out, I can't really afford to.

Shopping I do several times a week, just functionally (not spending time).

There is no gambling allowed at pubs in WA (only at the one Casino), so no temptations...

Yes I think you are right @Former-Member Loneliness & feeling isolated certainly makes MI or MH issues worse.

Yes I'm gona have a breakthrough, absolutely... I must keep on believing that.

Feeling stuck, victimised or hopeless just grinds me down (or anyone).

You matter too lapses, a lot.

Adge

Adge

Libraries have been the best place for me to be alone but social out in the community.

The main reason I felt alright about having a coffee on my own was because when travelling I had eaten out a bit and sat in restaurants (and ordered) when I needed a sense of protection sometimes. I have broken through the oddness of it. Like you money was enormous issue as I begrudged paying for seating, but as I am now fairly used to socialising like that, I meet many people who will bring prepared sandwich or salad and only buy the coffee ... so I often do that in a food court ... now without the slightest concern.

Things can improve @Adge Take care

Hey @Former-Member @Sophia1 @Faith-and-Hope @TAB

@Adge ..... I started going to a coffee shop as a student. Money was tight, so it was something special, and like @Appleblossom said, it was just the coffee ..... I would take a small bag of nuts or dry cereal, or a biscuit to munch on, and read a book, or did a crossword puzzle ..... basically treating it like a library or park bench.

Having something to concentrate on can help you get over feeling so self-conscious.

I like @Appleblossom‘s idea of a food court ..... take your own food, tea, coffee in a flask, and something to do .....

I recently mentioned to a phone support person - that my grief over the loss of my Dad, is still largely unexpressed.

It went inside (suppressed) I feel, when I could not access support - or feel heard after Dad died, 2 years ago.

The phone support person strongly encouraged me talk about my grief & loss, with my psychologist.

I have attempted to express my grief with psychologist on several occasions - yet I've been met with a minimising or avoidance response. A brief response, then she changes the subject (or leaves it at that).

That is exactly why I have been unable to work through grief issues with psychologist. I do not feel comfortable talking about it with her - because when I do, her response seems to indicate that she has not heard what I've said, or does not think that it is important.

I briefly raised feeling a great sense of loss today (in appointment) - the response did not even acknowledge my grief (or loss).

Instead the immediate question she asked was "Don't you feel or believe in a spiritual connection with your Dad" - That response (question) is an avoidance of acknowledging my sense of loss.

Very unhelpful, it shuts down any discussion of my grief or loss...

Adge

https://www.griefcentrewa.org.au

@Adge .... these people might help.

@Former-MemberYes my neighbour's invite was a blessing, it gave me a circuit-breaker (from stress).

We've been taking it in turns to invite each other over, every few months.

She didn't seem to want me to leave, so I ended up staying 3 hours instead of 2....

Where in my body do I feel that emotion (sounds like iRest program), I've been trying to identify that for the past 6 months or so.

Anxiety is in my tummy, despair & dissociated numbness (feeling) is in my forehead. I'm not sure where anger is...

Yes I'm more stiff & sore without my yoga classes, & less relaxed.

Natural inflammatories like omega3 & Tumerick, I didn't know there were any...

Adge

Thanks for reminding me about the Grief Centre (WA) @Faith-and-Hope A good prompt for my memory...

I did extensive searches for grief support 2 years ago, & I found them (then).

I got in contact, but was unable to attend their support group.

It might be time to try again...

Adge

Hi @Adge, saw your 👍(likes / thinking of me) on my dads thread & popped in to see how w ya going. HOW R U? Whatchya doing this w'end? Yoy kniw you do well to keep working like you do ⭐⭐⭐⭐ Proud of you! How's the new budgies going? Did u swe my question on GoodMorning thread about 'pufin' birds (is there such a thing? ). Anyway, thanks for the likes. You 'hang-in-there' ❤❤❤

Thanks @Former-Member I've not slept well (disrupted) every night, for over a week. So tired.

Not sleeping well impacts hard on someone who already has Sleep Apnea (me).

That's lovely, you're proud of me, thanks...

I need to be more proud of myself, that's hard.

Going to work at all, even for short shift (few hours) is such a strain - long driving, no appreciation shown for what I'm doing. No interest on my part, because it's thankless & doesn't earn me enough to pay the bills.

Yes Puffin bird (I did answer), TAB guessed or thought right.

Your family members seem callous & thankless, I cannot understand their words, behaviour & responses to you...

My family members & relatives are very similar.

I don't deserve the angry responses or insults that I get from work people & family members either.

Adge