Oh no @Soul, sounds like my sister and I. Thats sad. Do you miss her? I missed my sister for a few years but getting use to her not in my life now.
People say, and do weird things when under pressure / internal stress - like with grief. In the early days of my grief I was very sensitive (more than usually) and the last day I saw my sister I told her "I never wanna see you again" which I didn't really mean, was talking out of pain... and told her so later (email), but guess I was speaking out what SHE secretly wanted as she won't let it go. And i hear her hubby in the background saying 'no loss there' (they see MI as a choice people make for personal gain and therefore lack compassion).
As with most relationships it seems my children were the main attraction in my life, not me. Since my youngest is gone, and i had another long hospital breakdown, well, they faded pretty quick. Didn't know they were taking from me all along, drilling holes in my lifeboat so to speak, go figure.
I'd like to say it was a mistake to love them, let them into my family, giving my kidz much needed extended family... but my self esteem was so low I thought we couldn't live without them, and love is pretty high on my value scale. Guess that's why it hurts. Oops, got off track.
Guess What I'm trying to say Soul, is - dont give up on your sister - keep praying for het, maybe throw out a fig branch of peace now and then (expecting nothing in return), you never know.
Maybe I'm a bit of a dreamer / idealist, as restoration is beautiful when its genuine, even in small doses. Not sure how genuine it was but I did get my first birthday card in years from her this March. I've been consistant with sending hers (but not her hardcase Hubby's who's birthday happens to be the same day my girl died, dont celebrate anything that week/month.
Ever since my breakdown in 1986 my family bumped me off the ridiculous pedistal I was on and now they just look down at me, no matter how hard I try (as does most - once they know). I think an MI diagnoses is like a social death sentence. I'm so tired of trying to prove to them its not. And hate that I need them.
Anyway, hope you're not mad at me too. Black dogs saying you are.
Sorry Soul, and Dec, I can't be all about your / my toxic sisters, dying / passed dads... broken relationships... Cant be rehashing past pain atm. Don't mean to invalidate yours, but - its hurting too much for me atm, and I'm falling apart here without focusing on all that. Not well 😢
I just wanted to let you know that a moderator did respond to your email to try and help you today. If you are still needing that extra support right now, I am moderating the forums tonight - so please feel free to send an email and I will reply. 
However, if you feel the forums are helping you in the way you need, please continue to reach out here! 
