Diary of wifes hospital stay - holding it together for our family

So I drove down to see my darling this afternoon (against better judgement) as she seemed really disappointed when I said I couldn't make it. Was a hard drive down today... drive back was ok I guess.
Was good to see my darling looking happy for a change even though she didn't know what day or time it was. couldn't work out why I was there a little over an hour after she wanted me to come down. But doc assures her the ditsynsss will pass. I hope so.
Had lots of cuddles with bub. That was great. Have not seen her so googoo with him for ???? if ever.
I went to give her a hug and got 'Not up for that crap... leave me alone'
Feeling miserable 😞 She wanted to know why I was looking miserable when it was time to go.

Oh no. That reaction must have taken the shine off your visit @Determined. Nice that she was responsive to your little one though.

Seeing her with bub made it all worthwhile @soul
And she was looking really good, that was good to see.
Was on her bike for the first time in weeks so that is a positive sign also. Was unhappy about her average speed but still a good deal faster than me so recon she did great all things considered.

Sounds like there are a few positives there then @Determined. Just disappointing about her reaction to you. It must be difficult to be rejected like that when you are doing everything humanly possible and with a lot of love in your heart for her.

How did the kids get on with her on the weekend? Everything okay at school? So nice that someone provided your family with some dinner. Sometimes when people don't know what to say, an action like that is the best thing they can do. Wonderful too that your Darling is exercising. Perhaps things are turning the corner now.

Yes lots of positives @soul

re the reaction... I should be used to it by now but it still cuts every time 😞 especially when I made an extra effort to go visit her. Makes it worse that she is oblivious.

Children were happy to have her home for the weekend even if she did sleep most of it, just having her at home was good for them.

School seems to be going ok, they were both happy tonight when I got home anyway. They recon they both had a good day.

Dinner... wow that was a surprise and greatly appreciated. Unfortunately I was already out of town when I got the call and the boys had already been picked up. I have asked mum to pick it up for me in the morning when she drops boys off. (I start work at 7 so mum picking the boys up from work and taking them to school). It will go nicely tomorrow night for dinner, have been wondering what to do. Taking s2 to see darling for his birthday and won't feel like cooking when we get home so came at a opportune time. May have to get mum to drive us... see how I feel in the afternoon.

Hope its a really nice visit for you all @Determined.

Well we made it down and back for another visit for s2 birthday, he appreciated the time and we supprised him with a birthday cake.

Mum drove down and back. I was going to drive and have her as a backup if I got too tired but she diplomatically took over after I almost took out a fuel bowser when we stopped for fuel. Whoops.

It was lovely seeing my darling interacting with the children and actually enjoying it. They needed that 😊

I however felt like I was invisable. 😢 I even asked Mum, is it just me or am I invisable. She just looked down and did not know how to answer. When I finally got a hug I think I could have had a walmer hug from a complete stranger 😭

Only spoke to me to anxiously ask if the house was in order and what jobs needed to be done and would it all be done before she came home on Friday etc etc .......

I keep telling myself it is because she is unwell and it is the treatment and it will all get better but it hurts so much. Just craving a simple walm hug and it is too hard.

Feels like the only reason she is missing home is because I cant be trusted to keep the place in order. Cant deal with it at the moment....over it...

Don't plan on going down tomorrow and think I woll be telling her I am too tired to drive on Friday also. Go get her on Saturday after the jobs are done. Have uni work to get done and dont have time to worry about achieving unrealistic expectations.