Diary of wifes hospital stay - holding it together for our family

Oh no. You seemed to be looking forward to it. I can understand that you're not feeling too good at the moment @Determined. It must really be taking a toll on you both emotionally and physically. I'd send you one of my breakfast smoothies if I could. It takes delicious and is so healthy.

If you want to talk about your weekend, you know you have friends here. It's okay though if you just want a distraction from what's going on.

Positive hugs for you also @Shaz51 It certinally helps. 🤗

Would not know where to start @soul and Already feel as though I complain about every little thing 😕 mostly I am just tired on so many levels. Worried about the beginnings of gossip, wish I had kept my mout shut even if the few people who know our situation were told for the right reasons, to help me support my family as I cant do it alone.

Yesterday morning at school openday went ok, just draining being out. Was nice however being out together as a family. Too tired to get anything much done on my assignment. Got a bit done today but so much left t do. I am clear about what needs to be done but just cant focus to get it done.

Thankful that the drive went ok this afternoon, I was worried how I would go but had a half hour nap before we left and picked up. Did not stay tonight, just dropped darling off and left. It was hard. Makes me angry every time I arrive that people smoke close to the entrence, i cant breathe myself and I have to walk our baby through that. Want to complain but dont want to make things awked for darling.

Trying to get back into some smoothies myself @soul

Ducked out this morning to get some more supplies. Most of what I had in the fridge for smoothies was dead or growing. My stomach just turned thinking about it lol.

Woolies here dose a baby greens pack, rocket beetroot leaves kale and carrot. Makes it easy. I add pear or apple for sweet and some chia seeds. Used to use water but have tried milk, not as healthy but tastes better.

Please look after yourself @Determined. It seems that self care is pretty low on your list at the moment. Your Darling and your kids depend on you so you won't be doing anyone including yourself any good by burning out.

I hope the week days are a bit easier for you. Have you got your visits planned? Think about how many you should be doing and their value to all concerned. By all means, go if it's of benefit to you and your Darling but they could also be very draining and unsettling too. Only you can be the judge of that.

As for other people, my psychologist told me that they react that way at times in an effort to distance themselves from the situation - in that they are never wanting to be placed in your or your Darling's shoes. They may also be at a loss as to what to say or do. Try not to be too concerned about them.

How are you sleeping? Restless, enough hours? All this mental fatigue is wearing you down too. And all that makes it even harder to cope. I thought there were laws about smoking near public places. It is quite disgusting. My mother and father both smoked but gave it up when health problems arose. I never did and can't stand it. When you're tired and frustrated even little things can irritate you let alone the bigger ones.

There will be an end to all this. It won't last forever. You have been through tough times before and you will get through this as well.

Freeze some peeled bananas and pop one of those in your smoothie. Thickens it and makes it taste yummy.

My signature breakfast smoothie is one orange, one frozen banana, handful of kale, a generous squirt of ginger (Woolies does their own tube - easier than preparing from the root), 375 mls of water. Blend and drink. Used to make a lot of berry ones. Might get back to those.

There are laws about smoking in qld @soul They smoke beside a big no smoking sign though so clearly dont care.

Have been thinking I may need to skip Monday and Wednesday visit this week @soul 😕 will be hard but I am no good to anyone if I collapse myself. Mum would happily drive me but its not the driving so much as the travel. Darling does not expect me every day but she is sooo lonley. Seing her every day also helps me to cope. Usually I sleep when I get there anyway but just being there and holding each other is soothing.

Not sleeping at all well at the moment. Thought about seeing the gp for somthing to help me but need to be able to get up to bub if necessary, and previously they have been reluctant anyway because I am depressed (or so they think). Self halm is not an issue for me, never was never will be but understand their duty of care obligations.

I think that's a very wise thing to limit your visits @Determined. There's only so much burning the candle at both ends that you can do. That sounds so sweet that you have a nap together when you visit. Can you perhaps just have a longer phone conversation on the nights that you're not there? Of course your Darling would be lonely, more so than you as you have the kids to keep you busy as well. Is she bored there? Is there something she could enjoy doing to pass the time?

About sleeping, have you tried any herbal options? I have used valerian with some success. It helped to stop my brain from going into overload when my head hit the pillow. It won't leave you with a groggy feeling the next day. I know what you mean about prescription meds for sleeping. I was only given a week's worth at a time.

Have been trying chamomile tea when I remember @soul sometimes it helps sometimes not, depends how busy my mind is. Just wont switch off most nights, can go to deep sleep and wake up thinking its early hours only to find out only hour or 2 passed if lucky. Been like for a long time, just compounded at the moment with the extra worry. Have an appointment with a councillor this Thursday, was supposed to go last week but stupidly cancelled.

Darling too washed out after treatment to be bored, just incredibly lost and homesick. She has her bike and trainer in her room but has not had the energy to get on it. Also has some cross-stitch with her but lacks the concentration or coordination to do anything with it .

Phone calls are hard @soul as the reception is no good.

There is a phone in her room I can ring but she has to sit at a desk so not very comfy. We text a lot but thats not the same.