Ask Anything Monday: Have a question you feel too apprehensive to ask?

Hi @Shaz51 😏

Sounds like we're all working to a few themes, aren't we ... ?

Providing distraction.

Staying calm.

Trying to take the negatives with a pinch of salt and not giving them too much attention.

Looking after ourselves to keep the negativity from rubbing off on us.

Have I missed anything ?

🌷💕

Hello @Maple, @meegs

Hi @Faith-and-Hope, Totally true my friend

Having Patience

Flexible planning -- is there things that your mum enjoys , to have her interested in something ( my mum loves jigsaw puzzles and crossword puzzles -- things that can help to keep the negativity at bay for a little while

caring ,

watching movies on dvds that she loves together

The answers already offered are all great. One thing that I feel is really important when you're in close contact with your mother when she is being difficult or negative or frustrating is to clearly remind yourself that this is NOT your mother talking or behaving, it is her illness. Sometimes, when a loved one becomes ill mentally, it's as if they have disappeared and a complete stranger has taken their place. It is heartbreaking. But if you can keep reminding yourself that it is not your Mum speaking, it's the illness, it may help you to emotionally detach just a little, like a protective mechanism, yet stil be able to care for her.

 Hi,
 
 My daughter has come home to live, after going from place to place for a

 
 long time. she has been taking her medication now for a week, but is 
 still very lethargic & at times difficult. I have joined a support 
 group, will have to be patient, I find it difficult at times to 
 understand. the illness deression & anxiety has been with her for a 

 while. Just need some feedback & support, good to chat to people 
 experiencing the same. I want her to be in a loving supportive envirnment.
 
 
 Cheers Jenny K
 

Great that you're reaching out for moral support @JennyK .....

I will tag you from our virtual coffee shop ... come and make some friends here where you can chat a bit anytime ....

We can all relate to what you're going through ....

🌷 F&H

Good to hear @JennyK .... 😊

Having a steady sort of day today in terms of family commitments which is nice ..... hubby away so workload drops a lot and I can catch my breath a bit ....

💜🌷

Happy Monday everyone!

Thanks to everyone who contributed to the previous question.

This week's question is:

Hello,

We have recently found ourselves trying to care for our 35 year old niece who has been battling complex mental instability for 20 odd years. The relationship with her parents and brother, who have tried to help over the years, has completely broken down.

We are feeling completely overwhelmed.

She suffers from anxiety, depression, very low (if any) self esteem and has been given many labels; OCD, BDD, BPD. She constantly talks about not wanting to be in this world, that she's had enough and that she can't deal with the pain anymore and has recently self harmed. The problem is because of these severe disorders we are unable to get her to see a professional to get help. She has in the past been forcibly taken to hospitals where they administer antipsychotics and offer group therapy which she can't participate in.

She's been to private and public hospitals and then is discharged.

In the past she has lived with her family, with whom she has big issues and is not possible now and in private accommodation on her own organised by her family. The living on her own only works for a while as she doesn't function (others need to make sure she has food etc) and she ends up in hospital again. It's like a revolving door and there's be no resolution.

Now we are faced with the same dilemma and the real possibility of ending up shattered like her parents. She was staying with us for about 10 days but she couldn't cope being with us. She had been discharged from a private hospital as she was unwilling to sign for a further stay and was advised to present to the ED of a major public hospital. She spent the night in a park self administering anti anxiety meds. She then returned to the ED where the social worker provided a list of cheap hotels and organised her stay. She was there approximately 3 nights and then appeared on our doorstep unannounced. The last time we saw her was eight years ago. We have her in temporary holiday accommodation and we are trying to get a unit for her in the hope that with our support she will agree to seek help. We really don't want to get the Mental Health Emergency Response Line team in as we know she will be out eventually and have nowhere to go as she will not have anything to do with us if we do that. We fear she will end up on the street or worse.

We are desperately seeking any advice or help to steer us through this seemingly hopeless situation.