Ask Anything Monday: Have a question you feel too apprehensive to ask?

Dearest People,

How are you this morning ? I hope to sound as mindful as I feel about you.

It's so so sad what your writing and I'm so sorry what you are dealing with. I am so proud of you for staying in there.......

I am sitting next to my husband, a person that was chucked out from the hospitals as being too damaged and too uncontrolable. three times in jail, once for 9 months after we got married.

He now sees his nurses and his Doctors every fortnight. He is on medication and has quit very very fullon drug use, alcohol drinking like you cannot believe and smoking cigarrettes. He is 48 years old.

I need to get going but will get back to you as soon as I have finished work.

Your neice HAS got hope. this is hope for her. It's just going to be; one step forward and one step back for a little while if you are willing to stay there. And oh, have I need there with my own children and my husband.

!. can you write down the most important things that you are dealing with right now.

Put them in short term, medium term, long term coloums.

Just a tic, I need to get my husband off and will get back to you but there is a lot of hope.

The first thing I want to say is that it's OK to feel completely overwhelmed and hopeless with regard to your niece and the situation. I would be feeling exactly the same. My heart goes out to her and to all the family that have been so profoundly affected by her mental health issues. Dealing with such severe mental issues for such a prolonged period of time is truly a test of human resolve and endurance. Unfortunately there are no easy solutions and huge gaps within the mental health care system who are more equiped to deal with acute, rather than chronic, mental health problems. It sounds to me as if your niece has had alot of support, both from family and professionals and that everyone is trying very hard to help her. The one thing that came to mind as I was reading was a "halfway house" or community assisted housing alternatives. I'm not too knowledgeable with regard to this or what options may be available, but I'm thinking that she may do well in a shared house type of set up that is overseen by a manager or to be set up in community housing with a carer that can assist with meals, medications, etc. I have no idea what state you are in but I found this:

https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/servicesandsupport/housing-and-accommodation-support-for-people-with-a-mental-illness

Perhaps this might give you some ideas on alternative living arrangements which you may want to persue. Don't hesitate to give some of the organisations listed here a call, even if you're not from Victoria. They may be able to provide you with links to similar counterparts in other states.

In the meantime if she needs acute care for the time being then please don't hesitate to initiate it. Her safety and well-being are the number 1 thing.

All the best

Janna ❤️

I completely agree with @Janna. When she writes of gaps in the mental health system.

When I first remet my husband ( we went to high school together) ......we saw his Psychiatrist re; a community order, he bought 4 bottles of cheap wine and glogged them down. I was horrified. After the appiontment that I was forbidden to speak at by my then boyfriend..I walked out and said, if I had appiontments like that: I would be a drug user and an alcoholic as well.

These Psychiatrists told him that he was a danger to the community and should be locked up. When my husband tried to answer back ( drunk) they interuppted him. There were 4 Psychiatrists there and one was "Checking me out." I felt like saying get stuffed, we get help from my Psychotherapists and he doesnt have to drinnk 4 bottles of wine before he sees her .......

So, what @Janna writes feels so right to me, to look at half way houses feels so right. You need to put yourself first and how are you going to do that when you are overwhelmed and worried?

You sound like a very caring couple and great to look around for further advise,

Happy Monday everyone!

Thanks to @PeppiPatty @Janna & @Faith-and-Hope for helping out with last week's quesiton.

This week's question is:

My partner has bipolar and has said he really likes his mania. He gets stuff done, he's inspired, creative and has a lot of energy. Without fail though, he crashes after the mania and his depression is so devastating that I worry leaving him alone.

He won't take his medication because he wants to keep having mania - but his lows are so.... deep. I don't know what to do. On one hand I completely understand him wanting to have his manic epsiodes - it seems like it's the only time he enjoys life, but on the other hand, I worry he is going to harm himself.

It's like a curse!

Any suggestions - should I just let him not take his medication? How can I reason with him?

It's Monday so it's time to Ask Anything! Thank you @Faith-and-Hope for responding to our last question.

This one reflects a bit of a theme in the forums of late:

Most of the time I enjoy caring for my son. It's been tough but I'm so proud of both of us that we've got through and he's now doing better. The problem is that I now realise that I'm all alone. His Dad left years ago and I realise that my focus on him has affected my friendships. Killed them really. Now that I have a little more time on my hands there is nobody to spend it with.

Is anyone else in the same boat? I don't know whether to just accept it - lonliness being part of getting older. And if I choose not to accept it, what do I do? I don't think I've made a new friendship in 30 years. I'd be grateful for any advice.

hello , welcome to the forum

It will take time to form friendships again ,

but getting involved in the commuity where you live is a good start .

To join a group ? have you got a hobby that you love ?? getting involved in

also one day at a time ,

Hi and welcome to the forums .... 🌷

Here are a few suggestions ..... I hope the list is not overwhelming .... my intent is to provide a bit of a menu in dot point form just to twig something with you that appeals .

Contact a local community centre and join a group class, like poetry writing or painting classes for beginners ....

If you have a swim centre you can access, join the water aerobics class.

Take a regular seat in a local coffee shop and chat a little to the people behind the counter, the person who brings your coffee, smile at other people, complement someone on their baby .... just learn to be casually social without bonding. Across time you will start to feel like a local. Do a crossword there or read a book and people-watch.

Volunteer to help in a local school or hospital.

See if you can join a ten-pin bowling class, or lawn bowls if that's your preference ....

If there are tourism services in your town, offer to be a guide. Same for a local zoo.

Look up church groups in your area.

Volunteer your services on charity run days handing out water, putting up signs or tape and things.

Its really about stepping out again into the streams of life around you. Some of it will just be general socialisation, but friendships develop from such things as these .... but you have to put yourself out tgere a bit first.