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14th year house bound

14th year house bound

Hi Everyone,

I am new hear, after being removed from other mental health forums for my depressive thoughts i thought i would give this forum a try, this is my story.

I am 33 live with my mother, i am almost compeatly housebound, i leave my house once in the morning for a walk at 6am and maybe once during the week, both times i leave the house fill me with great anxiety, i have no friends, (the last friend i had was in 2001), i have never had a job, never had a girlfriend and never been able to leave my parents side, my father died in 2001 and i have always suffered seperation anxiety the last time i had a night away from home was 1994 for one night (parents had to pick me up at midnight because i was so frantic).

I have spent most of the past 14 years in my room, or the shed, never much out of the yard, no one in my town knows me, people stare and ask each other behind my back if any one knows who i am.

I have only had an income for the past year and spend the previous 7 with no income at all, mum had to use all of her life savings to allow me to live with her and she now has nothing.

I only want to live long enough to care for her in her old age and then i plan to take my own life, i knew from an early age my life would turn out like this, but had no idea how horrible it would be, every day is the same, i often wonder why i keep going, i have very little contact with family (maybe once a year) and i am really struggling to keep going.

Please don't feel distressed about what i am saying, and i am so sorry if i have offended anyone, it is just how i feel.

Their is so much more, but i will leave it at that for the moment, i am shaking and the anxiety is kicking in so thankyou for reading and i will add more later.

Jacques

2719 replies

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In response to: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Hi Karen
How are your daughters ?

Thank you for asking about me and husband. The weird thing is that I'm not interested in being intimate with him....... I don't really want to say or have a ,,,,, husband.
But I would never ever want to hurt him.
Then..... His huge intelligence comes out when we are relaxed ........ Oh wow..................

In response to: Re: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Hi Anne

The girls have had a good day. I've painted their nails, been to the park, lots of dancing and singing for my dad's birthday.

Thanks for asking

Karen

In response to: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Thanks Karen. I'm amazed at how good it is.I do it everyday and just keep remembering issues and start tapping them out. I use both hands when tapping,it seems to make a difference.I just keep doing it.I was doing up to 25 issues a day but now its around 10 a day.

I was in the RAAF years ago and hated it.

In 1998 I was put on to a practitioner to client technique called
"Neuro Emotional Technique" (NET").That was the start of being cured of emotional issues now I get to do

"Faster E.F.T" at home. I even combined a kInesiology technique for testing food intolerances and Faster EFT and doing my various food intolerances.I do around 6 a day plus emotional issues.

Love reading books.May as well learn some skills like social skills while I have the time and learn about rebuilding cars/engines/restorations and spray painting.

Chris.

In response to: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Its easy to get hooked on reading.It gets me through some days.Its worth it to use the time to learn more things.

In response to: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Dear Chris
Yes Iv'e done the tapping. It was very exciting when I did it.
Love Knesology and surprisingly : my Psychotherapist I saw for many years ..... Well she focuses on that too. I don't know much about Kinesiology but had it far too few times.

What books are you reading ? I've just started a crochet bag .

In response to: Re: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Hi Karen.

I learnt about muscle testing in 1997 when I had a local chiro who was trained in the USA.The changes he made within 4 vists made big differences.

In 1998 I was introduced to Neuro Emotional Technique(NET). Did many hours of that.That was the start of getting rid of emotional issues and boy did that change me.Got rid of years worth of problems that made my life so much better.

In 1999 another USA trained muscle testing chiro.He was my regular chiro until 2001 as he died in an accident.He made some big changes during his treatments and he even put me onto a massage therapist who does Lymphatic Drainage.Gets rid of toxins in the body.

In 2007 I tried Kinesiology.I understood how it works and it helped.

In 2009 I needed muscle testing by a chiro.He cured me of OCD by 2013.Couldnt keep that disorder.That had to go.I stopped having treatments in early 2014.

Shortly after him In 2014 I found a website catering for pressure points and ailments.Been doing them ever since. Bought the first of 3 Acupressure books and one book on Emotional Freedom Technique then went online to find a shorter/quicker version and found Faster E.F.T.Been doing that since April this year.All it cost me was a $10 book and that lead me to looking for Faster EFT.

I got Candida in 2006 from drinking way too much cola.Had to cut out sugar by going cold turkey.Cutting out sugar is very healthy as its good for detoxing.Clean organs.

I learnt that if nothing else works to solve health issues start doing pressure points/muscle testing.Its great value. Now that Faster EFT is the go its worth it for everyone to learn it.

You've got a great hobby with crotchet.

I play piano when I can.I've got one in my loungeroom.

As for books,I like books on these cars:Ford Mustang,Chev Corvette,MGB,Rolls-Royce/Bentley,Mercedes-Benz, and the Australian,USA and South American Ford Falcons.

I've got a lot of dating books.I need those skills,I just dont get out to meet anyone due to CFS.

I'm glad we are on the same page with looking after ourselves.

Chris.

In response to: Re: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

OMG My Angel,

I am gone for just a few short hours and you turn into a social butterfly, i am so proud of you speaking to @Denv12 & Anne,

Karen, Make sure you give yourself a pat on the back.

Well My Angel, the day is done, you made it, sounds like the girls had a super fun time, and the party was a success, you have made it through another big gathering, you are 1 small step stronger.

Karen when you speak of your child hood, i had to read it three times to make sure you where not writing about myu childhood, i was so stunned, it was a mirror image of my own childhood, oh my Karen, we are far more similar than i ever thought possible, you are like the female version of me.

I am so sorry your daughter is going thrrough all this, it is not fair that anyone has to live like this, so cruel.

I often wonder if i would have been better off not being born, i told mum once i wish she never had me, i have regretted it ever since, i hurt her so much saying that, it is so hard when you don't want to live and you can't die. Life for me has been one of fear, sadness and regret, Sorry Karen i hope you are not feeling down, but reading your story has been like reading a book about myself.

Thank you so much my angel, you have shown me that i am not the only person whom has suffered anxiety all their lives. i so feared i was the only one.

Take Care, Be safe my dearest friend.

Jacques

In response to: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Dear @hiddenite

Funny isn't it ?

In response to: Re: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Hi Jacques

No social butterfly, just stupid me trying to take too much on. I'm paying for it now, being violently ill for the last 2 hours. Anxiety at horrendous levels. I wish I was dead too. It's just too much to manage.

Every time I try to have a normal day I pay the penalty.

Sorry J.

In response to: Re: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Karen, be kind to yourself, you have had a huge 3 weeks, you pushed yourself today and that is good, even thoug you are paying for it. I pushed myself today too, i had my weekly outing, and am now paying for it with cest pains and shaking.

Yes My angel, we pay a price for trying to be normal, but we do this to fight the anxiety, everytime we push we make one step to being stronger, it may be a small step, but a step none the less.

Rest up my angle, you have had a big and traumatic day.

Please my angel, don't be sorry, we both have each other to lean on, tonight it is your turn.

I enjoyed my cake and sausage roll thank you, sorry for using all the tomatoe sauce

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