14th year house bound

lol, i could imagine the kaos of trying to get that many kids into costumes, it would send me mad too.

re email, what email are you using, Gmail, outlook, hotmail?

let me know which one you are using, if you are not sure just give me the email address after the @ sign, please don't post the whole email address for privacy.

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I feel similarly to @hopeandsupport about your panic attacks, but I am also glad that you are clear about your own character and that your mother was not a bad person @Jacques and stand up for her.

It is lonely in the world without trusted family or friends but maybe just maybe you will have developed the confidence to connect with others and live some life worth having by the time your mum passes away. You can be helpful technical, crafty and funny. There are options. Your mum obviously seems to like it there so you dont want to move yet but eventually you will be able to choose a place more suitable for your needs.

@hiddenite I am sure the teacher liked your presence and you helped model and stabilise the large group of kids even in their fun. I did a lot of work in the schools and I have no doubt it was good for all involved.

Just breath and quietly take charge of your inner resources tomorrow. Open those doors calmly and face the care team. I will pray for a good outcome. The team may be more understanding than you think .. but not if they are the same people putting you down. There are hard truths to face in life, but remember you have support here. Tell us how it goes.

Hello my angel,

i am so glad your email problem is solved, i have had the same problem in the past, sometimes it is easy to put a wrong password in several times and lock yourself out. whatever the cause i am glad it is working

Karen remember stay in the present, what will be will be in the future worrying about it will not change the outcome. i am sure they will have some more insight into your situation, i just hope they treat you with the respect you deserve.

remember i will be their holding your hand, giving you some more strength, try to stay in the present, sing wit hthe girls, do puzzles colour in, do anything to take your mind off it.

Thank you @Appleblossom, you concern it really appreciated, but if something happened to mum i would not be able to go on, i cannot function without her. i have no contact with any one in the real world, only here, i just want her to have a comfortable old age, that is all i am interested in, my life means nothing to me.

@hiddenite my angel, it gives me great pleasure helping you with small things, you bring so much joy into my life just by talking to me, it is nice to be able to give you something in return.

Well it has been around 25 years since i got my first computer, oh boy that time goes fast, i have built uncountable computer systems over that time and i used to teach computers when i was in high school of a night when i was not doing my HSC and caring for dad. it is so nice to use my skills for something.

yes i had to sleep this afternoon, i was so tired.