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14th year house bound

14th year house bound

Hi Everyone,

I am new hear, after being removed from other mental health forums for my depressive thoughts i thought i would give this forum a try, this is my story.

I am 33 live with my mother, i am almost compeatly housebound, i leave my house once in the morning for a walk at 6am and maybe once during the week, both times i leave the house fill me with great anxiety, i have no friends, (the last friend i had was in 2001), i have never had a job, never had a girlfriend and never been able to leave my parents side, my father died in 2001 and i have always suffered seperation anxiety the last time i had a night away from home was 1994 for one night (parents had to pick me up at midnight because i was so frantic).

I have spent most of the past 14 years in my room, or the shed, never much out of the yard, no one in my town knows me, people stare and ask each other behind my back if any one knows who i am.

I have only had an income for the past year and spend the previous 7 with no income at all, mum had to use all of her life savings to allow me to live with her and she now has nothing.

I only want to live long enough to care for her in her old age and then i plan to take my own life, i knew from an early age my life would turn out like this, but had no idea how horrible it would be, every day is the same, i often wonder why i keep going, i have very little contact with family (maybe once a year) and i am really struggling to keep going.

Please don't feel distressed about what i am saying, and i am so sorry if i have offended anyone, it is just how i feel.

Their is so much more, but i will leave it at that for the moment, i am shaking and the anxiety is kicking in so thankyou for reading and i will add more later.

Jacques

2719 replies

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In response to: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Hi Jacques
sorry you had such a bad night.....it sure is exhausting and takes your mood wuth it.

in here if you need to chat my friend.

Be kind to yourself today.

im sorry about last night I was really triggered so tired of being judged.

ive been at school helping the teacher with the childrens dance they have to do. They look so funny lots more practice needed. Dancing with 20 six year old children I'm sure I must have looked halerious.
The teacher was grateful I stayed.

Thinking of you j
take care
karen

oh about to go for a walk it is actually sunny today.

In response to: Re: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

To the children it wouldnt have been hilarious, it would have been sooo much fun! let out the inner child i reckon 😄 Hope you enjoyed being with the kids!

LJ

In response to: Re: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

@Former-Member is right, let out your inner child, dance, Karen, Dance!!!!

I am ok, just a little tired of not being able to sleep properly, the panic attacks seem to be getting stronger, i don't know if it is the medication having less effect or if it is because i am having to leave the house more, i am just not sure, but i am getting exhaused from the racing heart beat, muscle jerking and shaking, it takes its toll, i know you understand.

no need to be sorry my angel, you vent when you need to, we are all here to support you on your journey to recovery.

i am so glad you have a nice sunny day, enjoy the walk.

I am so proud of you staying to help the teacher, it must have triggered your anxiety, but you stayed and helped out, you have done well.

i would have loved to see it, did they have their costumes on?

enjoy the sun my angel, i hope it stays around all day.

In response to: Re: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

I hate to hear about you continuing to have these panic attacks Jacques. I had them for many years when living with my husband, then I left and they stopped. During this time I also got panic attacks when around my mother. It is the people you are living with or so it seems. A psychiatrist told me to have limited contact with my mother, but not to cut ties with her altogether. This worked well for me. I am pretty well now, just a bit of anxiety but manageable. I hope you can eventually change your circumstances. Take care.

In response to: Re: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Hi @hopeandsupport,

thank you for your kind words, it is not my mother that is the problem, it is my speration anxiety needing her to be here. i am so terrified of losing her, i have lost my father already and now i am worried how i am going to fend for myself when i can't function.

I live in a small town which makes things even worse, i can't go out without someone recognising me, when i was little i used to live in Brisbane, no one knew who i was and no one cared, now i live in a town of 2,000 where everyone knows everyone and all want to know your business, i struggle to live in this town, but have no other option as mum owns the house we live in and we can't sell it for enough to buy somewhere esle, plus i don't want her to move because of me.

i am in a tough situation but it is what it is and i have to deal with it as best i can.

Thak you once again @hopeandsupport i really appreciate your concern.

Jacques

In response to: Re: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

So sorry Jacques, it is a difficult situation you are in. If your mum is healthy, she is not going to die soon. None of us know when we are going to die. This could be my last day on earth for all I know. When I was getting panic attacks, I used to get in the car and drive down to the beach and stay there all morning until the fear subsided, then I would drive home exhausted. I hope you can work something out, save yourself. sorry i am a bit opinionated sometimes lol

In response to: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Hi Jacques
just checking in with you I have just finished walking.
Oh the sun has gone now dark clouds thats Melbourne for you.

I know the chest pains, involuntary muscle movements shaking and hard to breathe....some days I even stutter. On bad days I can't even speak.
So I understand J.
Never forget you are safe.
I am with you and so are all the other kind people here.
Take some time for you j. Never doubt that I am with you.
Big hugs my friend
karen

In response to: Re: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

It is ok @hopeandsupport you are not opinionated, just saying it how it is, i like that in people no preamble, no BS, no sugar coating.

i know we ca nall go at any time, i just have this need for her to be here, i suffer badly from seperation anxiety along with agoraphobia, and generalised anxiety disorder and depression, not a good combination.

i would love to do what you and @hiddenite do and just drive to a quiet location, i can't because i am unable to drive the car without my mother being with me. and i am frightened of being alone in case i get acused of something, i know it is stupid, but that is my thought proccess, i am also frightened of breaking the law.

i am a real mess, mentally, but it is the way i have lived all my life, you think i would get used to it, but i don't.

In response to: Re: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Thank you My Angel, yes i stutter too, and am unable to speak, i thought it was just me, i didn't know you did too, oh it can be so frustrating sometimes.

i am glad you had a good walk, sorry about the weather, being overcast all the time can sure drop your mood, well at least you had some sunshine.

In response to: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Hi Jacques
not a dress rehearsal thats next week the thought of trying to get that many six year old into costumes is overwhelming.
I also wanted to ask you something. My e/m address isnt working it says that someone else is trying to get to my password and change it.
I don't know what to do it took me three weeks to work out how to get an email address.
thanks j
karen
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