14th year house bound

The girls call their other grandparents OMA and Opa I've never heard anyone else do that.

I'm sorryJacques looks like we're both stuck with sh as a method to get through the day.

I understand it's not a healthy behavior but I find it the most effective.

Have you tried to stop j or are you like me and just give in because your so exhausted.

my fathers mother is German, so i thought i would use the German name for grandmother.

yes i suppose you are right, we just need to manage how much we do it i suppose.

I can't stop Karen, i have been SH for 16 years, it is my only coping mechanism, i just can't seem to do without it now, it is how i deal with everything.

Hi Jacques is that a dinner date for 2?

Jacques I get the sh stuff I really do. I'm not going to lecture you on something I cannot control.

I went to the house today to bring the rubbish bins in. While I was there a blue wren flew into the house.

I tried to catch it but it was too quick. In the end I was so panicked..... eventually if flew back outside but not before my anxiety skyrocketed.

Then I had to take the girls to the psychologist. So that's my day j hope you did better than me.

Oh Yes, definatley, i could not eat a cheese platter all on my own, (well, yes i can ), but i will share with you my angel.

Thankyou for not judging Karen, i feel so bad about it, if any of my family knew how badly i do SH, they don't even know i SH in the first place, and they are already alarmed!!! they know i have SI, but they don't know to what extent.

OMG Karen a blue wren, Oh yes they are fast little creatures, you will never catch them, when that happens to me, i just open the front and back doors and coax it out, it always works, just takes them some time.

Karen i am so sad you managed to get into a panic over that, it was not your fault, the silly little thing should watch where he/she is flying. anyway i hope you have managed to calm down now.

Well at least you know their is plenty of wild life around!!!!

Oh Karen, you must be really tired, i do hope the girls managed to get through the hour without too much distress. and i hope you get some relief talking to me.

Thanks Jacques I absolutely adore cheese, I hope you don't mind sharing.yum

No one except you know that I sh. It's a secret I have kept for as long as I can remember.

My family didn't take it so well when they found out I made an attempt on my life. They told me they were ashamed of me. So I really don't think they would take sh very well.

They think the ptsd, anxiety, depression, ocd is all something that you can just choose to get over.

So no one understands.

I know you love cheese, that is why i thought i would share it with you

yes it is very hard to explain why i do it to anyone or what it is like to have a MI, i have tried to explain several times to mum and her family without success.

i honestly think that no one truly understands until they suffer from it.

I'll have some jarlesberg cheese I haven't had any for a very long time.

You are right about MI no one can truly understand unless they have experienced it.

What did you do today Jacques?

That looks Devine...wow

oh Karen you must buy some, i have not had any since last july, i will need to get some too.

Well today, hmmmm, well it was a lazy day, just chopped up some old material and read a book most of the day. so pretty boring day today, but tomorrow i am hoping if the rain holds off to trim my pencil pines. and maybe some of the lime lights.

I'm glad you had a break today you work so hard.

The girls have a long weekend, day off Monday and Tuesday is Melbourne cup. So four days at home, hopefully the weather is nice so they can go outside.

I hope you get the gardening done tomorrow