14th year house bound

Thank you Karen. you are my best friend, always will be.

Hi Jacques I have been worried sick about you. I never want to see you hurt. When you hurt so do I.

I don't know what to do to make everything ok.

You are so special to me.

My girls have a mum because you cared.

That is huge.

I want to take you pain away.

Let me help you Jacques

The girls and I did some craft we made thank you cards for a neighbor that has been really kind to the girls.

The girls rode their bikes to the park and played chasey.

We played old maid, and dominoes this afternoon, then the girls helped water the garden.

We made pizza from scratch for dinner.

Oh and mandalas before bed.

Oh Karen, the girls have such a beautiful heart like you do, that is so sweet and considerate, i am sure the neighbour is going to be thrilled about getting a thankyou card.

They do sound like a bundle of energy, it is good they have some moments of happyness, you have two great kids their Karen, you should be so proud of yourself.

Do the girls like Gardening? ooooh pizza too, oh boy they must be very happy girls tonight.

How are you doing? i worry about you Karen, i wish you could be happy, i wish their was a way for me to help you.

Dear @Jacques
I can understand why you want to pull off. I'm there with you.

Im writing mainly personal reasons why I don't want you to come off;

1: besides my husband ::::: you are about the most emotionally sensitive and emotionally correct person with empathy I've ever met online or in person. You teach others to be more empathetic. if ever there was males like @Bill16 or @suess or that person who found you from the other forum,,,,,,or gals like Karen to be heard and understood it will be through you.

I know the awesome thing in this forum is that everyone is different. I dunno about others but I come from an original family who didn't do compassion. The man I married needs 1000 % in compassion and I give it to him.

Many many times Ive written bad things on this forum and I guess the most hardest thing to expect is forgiveness.....when I was brought up....my experience was getting in huge trouble. Now, as an older person almost 50 years old.....Im very sensetive and learning to accept this forgiveness is hard.

theres great solace in words.

My parents went to my house today my dad had offered to burn off all the bark and stuff that I've cleaned up around the garden.

My mum told me it didn't look like I had mowed and the grass and place looked unkept.

I was really upset I've spent so much time mowing and cleaning the place.

She told me if that was the best I could do I better not bother.

I feel so low.

My mum always has to put me down.

That was nice of your dad, yes you should burn it off before the fire bans come into place, it will get hot soon and you might not be able to burn off till next winter if you don't do it soon.

Oh Karen, that is awful of your mother, you do know it sounds like their is nothing you could do to please her, Karen if you are happy with your yard, then please let that be enough. Karen i know how hard you worked on the mowing, i only mowed 1/4 of what you mowed, i don't know how you even managed it.

Karen the yard looked beautiful in the photos, like a fairyland, i loved it, it reminded me of the prary in the Americas, so beautiful.

Karen, it sounds like you will never be able to meet up to her expectations, My grandfather was like that, he always told his kids (my mother) that they will amount to nothing, that they where useless and that they where not good enough at anything they did. It was not until he was on his deathbed he said he was unable to show any closeness to his children.

My father worked himself to death trying to please him, Dad, being German was never good enough for mum, and dad tried to work so hard to prove he was worthy, he never met up to my grandfathers expectations.

Karen what i am trying to say is it sounds like your mother is unable to show support. Karen i know you are a hard worker, a loving mother and a good person.

@PeppiPatty, thank you so much for the suppport,

That is so sweet @PeppiPatty ,he must feel so special knowing you care so much. You have such a big heart Anne, it is so nice of you t ohelp neighbours, you are right eveyone is different, i jjust need to be more careful how i respond in the future, i might just ease up for a little while, until i am more thoughtful of how i wirte.

Thank you Anne you are a good friend.