14th year house bound

Hey @Jacques I for one always enjoy your posts and find you incredibly kind, supportive and friendly.

I have so enjoyed chatting about gardening and chooks with you.

Sometimes things on the internet get misunderstood, in 1400 posts if it has only happened 3 times you are well ahead of the curve and that is probably because you are always so careful and considerate of others.

@Jacques I would miss you. We have been friends for 3 months now. Talking most days. So many of us are so raw ... we are easily bruised ..

It is hard to know what to say to encourage and support others. We dont really know what another person goes through unless they say it.... and then there are ways and ways ...

I know you are trying to reach out with good intention ... sometimes we only reach the half way point ... but dont give up altogether.

@Former-Member has made a statement. That reflects @Former-Member 's position. Is there a way you can both accept each other without internalising it and respect each other's space.

I have been dealing with people in the community in job roles for a long time. Most people are pretty touchy when their raw nerves are hit ... we cant always predict what they are ...and with the additional struggles of MI... its even trickier ... tho we can also relate.

I dont know if I say the right thing .. when I did teacher training it was always give positive comment and teaching point ... I hoped that would get me through and has worked reasonably enough .. I also practice deliberate detachment about results in a professional manner ie if I gain student or lose student ... often times its not because of what I did but extraneous things going in on their life.

I have tried to be nice .. and have people get towy right back at me ... saying stuff ...eg "well that didnt help" ... I have to chalk it up to experience and go more carefully around them ... without overreacting or getting defensive... sometimes they reach out back to me humbly in another way ... it might be a year later ...

Please dont stop sticking your head out .. we mainly learn by doing.

Hi Jacques

I'm worried about you. Can't you please let me know that you are o.k.

There are so many people that care about you here please stay safe

Karen

thank you all for your support, it really means a lot, thank you for such kind words @Former-Member, @Appleblossom, @chookmojo & @Fancy_Pants. I will try, but this has really shaken me, I am so low this afternoon, I feel by you all supporting me it is going to make @Former-Member feel like we are ganging up on him, I am so sorry for this mess I have created again.

hi my angel,

Thank you so much for trying to cheer me up, it was so kind of you, this has happened all my life, I always make people upset by what I say, I have been saying inappropriate things since I was a little kid, I just have not learned.

sorry Karen, I have been really low all afternoon, I did not want to upset you. life has just got that little more harder for me.

Jacques

Jacques I really understand how you feel, as I told you I'm so scared of talking to other people because I might upset them.

The facts remain after 1600 you have done so well.

I have been so worried about you .

I know something so small can tip the scales.

Please remember your breathing slow it down Jacques tell me what you need.Positive Affirmations, use your senses.

Please stay safe

Hi My angel,

i know i have posted a lot, but how many others have been offended and not said anything, how many people have read my posts and decided not to join because of stupid things i have said, people who need to reach out.

Karen i am no better than all the bad people, i have to be more vigilant about what i say and who i say it to.

Karen you are too kind to me, i am no better than your late husband Karen, maybe you should stay away too before i hurt you too. i am just ot suited to being in this world, i so wish mum never had me, the world would be so much better without me.

Karen you are too kind, but i will upset you if i keep talking. sorry Karen, i really hope you are ok, sorry i can't help.................

Jacques I don't want you to feel that you are alone. I'm here I'm not going anywhere.

You have helped so many people. I for one wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for you.

Stay safe

Hi @Jacques

One of the best things about this forum is that everyone cares about how everyone else is feeling. The fact that you worry about @Former-Member feeling ganged up on because you have recieved support from your friends shows exactly how much you care.

But you getting support doesnt have to mean that someone else misses out.

It just means that you care and you want to be sensitive to others. As such you may even consider others feelings more than they do and probably have a tendancy to put their feelings ahead of your own.

@Former-Membermay not be online right now but when they are I hope they say hi! because they have a lot to contribute. From my part I think that Seuss did well to express their view and not hold in their emotions as holding in can lead to more distress and lowers your ability to cope. Holding it in also means that you cant talk about it and cant resolve things, so its healthy and positive. Even if it intially leads to miscommunication. What I heard Seuss say is that they wanted to be your friend, and what I heard you say is that you also wanted to be friends.

So i am really hoping that this can be the way you guys develop an open relationship where you can talk freely and then be real friends.

I hope that you are ok