14th year house bound

Hi @Former-Member,

WWe'll I don't know about getting past the housebound bit, it was my mother's idea, spare of the moment, she only gave me warning when we got to town, so I didn' have a choice. it was very quiet so I still felt very uncomfortable, but I tried to block everyone else around me out and just focus on the animals.

YYes I understand your pain, but I suffer from another problem, I can't lie, it gives me great anxiety even with a little white lie, I have to tell the truth, even if it hurts, even if it destroyself-esteem.

II am glad you are trying to reach out, this is something I will probably never master as I don't like humans, I find people boring and too focused on money, which does not interest me.

it is good you have hobbies, maybe think about joining a group, their are many places that hold monthly meetings of like minded people, maybe you could share you passion with others and it will be less anxiety provoking because you are talking about your hobby.

I find it extremely difficult to tell people I am a dole bludger, it is so humiliating because of the stigma surrounding people who do not work, people find it very confronting when I call myself this, they have never heard a person speak about themselves with sloathing.

thank you for the kind message of support, I really do appreciate it, I really hope you can manage to have a life outside of your home for me I will be imprisoned in my house for a long time yet.

Take care

Jacques

Hi Jacques

Still here....

How are you going today? I hope things have eased up for you.

I have just finished all the mowing and I'm exhausted.

Thanks for the great photos the animals are gorgeous.

I wish I was there, I'm so jealous.

I hope you thanked your mum she is so thoughtful like you.

Take care

Karen

I hope you are getting some work done on the house or maybe just resting after such a busy day, yesterday.

Thinking of you Jacques

Hi my angel,

I am so relieved, I am worried about you my angel, I am glad you got the mowing finished, it does make you feel good to have achieved something.

Oh yes the animals are so cute, especially the rare white rino, I so wish you could have seen it, it is the most famous zoo in NSW, it is quite big, OH Karen, maybe one day I will be able to show you around the zoo in person, I would like that very much.

I hope you are getting some rest, you are you feeling today? did you manage to speak to or write to you little girls teacher? Karen, I am so proud of you, it is quite difficult working on a house when you are not in a good frame of mind, I hope it helps give you some distraction.

Karen, this thick "S N A G" is always here for you, no matter what, I miss you when I sign off of a night until we speak in the morning

Take car my angel, my thoughts are with you

Jacques

Wow Jacques sounds like you do need a rest after all that work. I look forwards to seeing you photos tonight.

Rest up my friend

Hi Jacques

I hope you had a good rest I missed you today.

Got myself in a mess ended up ringing suicide line ,l had gone Bush it wasn't good.

I wish I could just stop everything. I'm exhausted, seem to always be overwhelmed.

I'm not a good person to have thoughts like this. I feel so selfish.

I wish I had someone in my real life that understands what things are like.

I'm sick of being told to snap out of it. Stop acting like a victim. Tired of hearing that they don't know what to do. I'm useless, worthless 😞

yes i had a good rest, only an hour though.

Kareni am sorryi was not on here when you needed me.

i am glad you reached out to lifeline, i know you dont like to hear you are a victim , try to se it from someone else looking in, the treatment yo have had over the past 24 years, i see you as more of a survivor.

Karen, your thoughts deceive you, like mine do, you are a very worthwhile, caring loving person Karen.

i feel for you Karen, but unless people hve experianced MI they will never understand, that is why i like talking to you and others on here, because this is the only place i have where people understand.

big hug my angel, please make sure you move your wings aside so i can give you a good hug 🙂

Thanks for the hug Jacques I appreciate the time you spend helping me. Even though I owe you something positive when you help me:-)

Your garden must be looking awesome you have spent so much time working on it.

It is really awful knowing you cannot trust your thoughts.

Oh my angel, I am going to make you believe you are a worthwhile person if it is the last thing I do, I really do believe all I say about you and what you say about yourself, you have just forgotten how kind, loving and caring you are, you just need to be reminded that is all.

the garden will be beautiful when it is done, still have to do the landscaping, all the plants are in now, we have decided to use small pebbles as a mulch, to make the garden really pop.

I feel the same Karen, it is frustrating and scary that we can't trust our thoughts. that is why I like you reminding me of the kind of person I am, you are a wonderful friend, I wish I could remind you how wonderful you are to me, you are perfect in every way.

Here is the pics of my new plants. I hope you like, we still need to put the pebbles down so please don't judge the Barness yet, plus they still need to grow, they are pigs face and marigolds.