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14th year house bound

14th year house bound

Hi Everyone,

I am new hear, after being removed from other mental health forums for my depressive thoughts i thought i would give this forum a try, this is my story.

I am 33 live with my mother, i am almost compeatly housebound, i leave my house once in the morning for a walk at 6am and maybe once during the week, both times i leave the house fill me with great anxiety, i have no friends, (the last friend i had was in 2001), i have never had a job, never had a girlfriend and never been able to leave my parents side, my father died in 2001 and i have always suffered seperation anxiety the last time i had a night away from home was 1994 for one night (parents had to pick me up at midnight because i was so frantic).

I have spent most of the past 14 years in my room, or the shed, never much out of the yard, no one in my town knows me, people stare and ask each other behind my back if any one knows who i am.

I have only had an income for the past year and spend the previous 7 with no income at all, mum had to use all of her life savings to allow me to live with her and she now has nothing.

I only want to live long enough to care for her in her old age and then i plan to take my own life, i knew from an early age my life would turn out like this, but had no idea how horrible it would be, every day is the same, i often wonder why i keep going, i have very little contact with family (maybe once a year) and i am really struggling to keep going.

Please don't feel distressed about what i am saying, and i am so sorry if i have offended anyone, it is just how i feel.

Their is so much more, but i will leave it at that for the moment, i am shaking and the anxiety is kicking in so thankyou for reading and i will add more later.

Jacques

2719 replies

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In response to: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Karen from what you have told me you did protect them, you allowed him to do things to you so the girls got spared, you took the girls into the shower with you so he could not be alone with them, Karen you did the best you could in the situation you where in.

With this in mind i would say you have been sucessful in motherhood. he did the damage, but it is time for you to love them now, i know they are very bright and tallented from what you have told me, that is all down to you Karen.

Please be kinder to yourself, i wish you could see what i see.

In response to: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Good thinking j, great minds think alike. I did that I bought the girls a love heart locket and put a photo of him in it.

Unfortunately the girls don't wear them. They don't speak of their dad the way other children do.

They are hurting and very confused.

Great idea thanks j.

In response to: Re: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

I never left the girls alone with him, I was too scared of what might happen. I knew what he was capable of.

In response to: Re: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Ah you are too quick for me Karen, It is a shame, but give them time, the past 2 years have been extremely traumatic for them, they will one day. just give them time to grieve, they have been through his death and your attempts Karen, they are very scared and confused, hold them, hug them, tell them you will be here for them no matter what, Karen you are a wonderful person, the care and concern you show me i know you show the girls 10 fold, you are getting them professional help, you are going to have a beautiful home for them, they will be ok, just give them time to adjust.

In response to: Re: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

I know stay in the present, distract.....bla bla bla

In response to: Re: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Well their you go Karen, you where protective of them, you cared for them and protected them, at your expense, Karen you are a good mum, not many women would have been able to cope with what you have endured, let alone protect the children.

YOU ARE A GOOD MUM!!!!

In response to: Re: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Why is it so hard for me to see it that way?

In response to: Re: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

No Karen, talk to me, lets talk through this Karen, it will do you good. Karen you have been so supportive of me allow me to support you tonight, please.

you are the kindest person i know, when you hurt so do i.

In response to: Re: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Because your mother, father, hustband and inlaws blame you for his actions.

Karen you have been conditioned to believe it, that is how abusers work, they make you hate yourself so they can control you, Karen, 24 years of being controled is why you can't accept you are a good mum, i am going to tell you day after day after day, i am going to show you how much of a caring mum you are until you believe it, i am not going anywhere, i am going to fill you with positive messages to outweigh all the negativity you have lived with in the past.

In response to: Re: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Sorry j I don't mean to hurt you that's the last thing I want.

Tell me more about the zoo what animals did you see?

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