FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

14th year house bound

14th year house bound

Hi Everyone,

I am new hear, after being removed from other mental health forums for my depressive thoughts i thought i would give this forum a try, this is my story.

I am 33 live with my mother, i am almost compeatly housebound, i leave my house once in the morning for a walk at 6am and maybe once during the week, both times i leave the house fill me with great anxiety, i have no friends, (the last friend i had was in 2001), i have never had a job, never had a girlfriend and never been able to leave my parents side, my father died in 2001 and i have always suffered seperation anxiety the last time i had a night away from home was 1994 for one night (parents had to pick me up at midnight because i was so frantic).

I have spent most of the past 14 years in my room, or the shed, never much out of the yard, no one in my town knows me, people stare and ask each other behind my back if any one knows who i am.

I have only had an income for the past year and spend the previous 7 with no income at all, mum had to use all of her life savings to allow me to live with her and she now has nothing.

I only want to live long enough to care for her in her old age and then i plan to take my own life, i knew from an early age my life would turn out like this, but had no idea how horrible it would be, every day is the same, i often wonder why i keep going, i have very little contact with family (maybe once a year) and i am really struggling to keep going.

Please don't feel distressed about what i am saying, and i am so sorry if i have offended anyone, it is just how i feel.

Their is so much more, but i will leave it at that for the moment, i am shaking and the anxiety is kicking in so thankyou for reading and i will add more later.

Jacques

2719 replies

1,781 - 1,790 of 2,719

In response to: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

It's been a really difficult day still struggling with intrusive thoughts that overwhelm me. I don't know why this is happening they are so convincing.

My daughter was being teased at school today about not having a dad and that he's dead. I don't know what to do. How do I protect her. I'm too pathetic and weak to stand up for her.

She'd be better off without me.

In response to: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Hi Karen, I would write a letter in to the teacher about it, so that they can be aware and hopefully keep a closer watch for it. Also something that my go told my daughter to say in similar circumstance (someone told her that her dad was going to jail and she was too) just to quietly say to the speaker 'you're wrong' and walk away. Funnily enough it did work for my daughter and it confused the kids because they didn't know what to say back because there's nothing really responsive about it... Usually kids are looking for a reaction... When they don't get what they think they will (someone getting upset or angry) they usually move on.
Big hugs for your lil girl

In response to: Re: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Hi Karen,

I'm glad you're online tonight and hope that you find some comfort here tonight.

Bullying is such a difficult thing to know how to manage - I think all parents would agree. Do you get involved, do you tell the teacher etc etc. It's so sad that children can be so cruel and it's so hard to help those are being teased or bullied see that it's the bullies who are the terrible ones with the problems... not them.

Would you feel comfortable talking to, or writing a note to her teacher? As an ex-teacher, I would like to think that all teachers would be HORRIFIED to know that bullying was going on. If the teacher does know about it, I'm hoping they are managing it. It's the teachers job to manage these situations - not yours. It doesn't mean you're not standing up for your daughter. Nurturing her and reassuring her and being there for her is what we love about our mums and I'm sure that's what you're doing for her tonight. They need you 🙂

I am concerned about the urges you mentioned. It must be painful and overwhelming. You don't have to go through those feelings alone - we are here and also it's important to contact a crisis service if things escalate.

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Crisis Chat
Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 or online counselling

In response to: Re: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Oh Karen, a big virtual hug, Karen it is just our minds playing tricks on us, i know how convincing the thoughts can be, we just need to challenge those thoughts, i am here to help Karen.

Oh no the poor little thing, kids can be so cruel, it must be so much more worse these days, Karen please don't say these things about you, maybe she can speak to the other child and tell him/her how hurtful these comments are? or maybe tell the teacher Maybe she could say her dad is with her every day watching over her?

Karen she would be so much worse off without you, you are so caring for them, you are their mum, you are special to them. these things with bullying happen with most children, they are still learning how to conduct themselves, i was bullied so bad in school too.

Karen just comfort her, tell her you love her and that these things are just words, these things are said because people do not understand.

In response to: Re: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

My eldest daughter had a breakdown when she was 7. She was hospitalized for 14 days in a children's psych ward. It broke my heart seeing her suffer and not being able to help. Knowing it was my fault.

I have a 7 and a 9 year old both are on anti depressants and I am to blame because I was too weak to leave him. I'm just not strong enough....

In response to: Re: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Thanks lj for taking the time to support me. I know you are struggling at the moment too. I appreciate the help

Karen

In response to: Re: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Karen many children are on anti depressants, i was on them when i was a child too, that does not make you a bad parent, it makes you husband the bad parent for doing those things in front of the girls, Karen, what was in the past is in the past, you need to care and nurture them now, show them all the love i know you have, you are an awesome mum Karen, i can see it in your actions and the way you speak about them.

In response to: Re: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

thanks Nik I will write a note to the teacher. Unfortunately the damage is done. For a child that suffers with acute anxiety it's extra difficult for her.

In response to: Re: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

I feel so guilty and ashamed that I allowed these things to happen. I don't know what to say it was my job to protect them I failed

In response to: Re: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Karen have you thought of buying her a pendant necklace with his picture in it? that way she has him with her all the time.
1,781 - 1,790 of 2,719