14th year house bound

Hi @hiddenite,

please don't feel like you have to talk to me when you don't want to, and don't feel like you have to hide away either, i am here for you in good times and bad, i don't mind giving you some support when you need it. i hope i am able to do the same.

Oh ok it is nice to hear you have your mind on other things. ok change the avatar, here goes.......

1. click on My Settings it is two across from your name when you login.
2. click on Profile Pictures now, here you can select a picture from one supplied by sane or one of your own. if you want one of your own have the picture on your computer at the ready.
3. if you are going to use one supplied by sane first you Choose a Category they have animals, food, music, etc. you will see little pictures underneath the catagory click on the picture you like and you are done.
4. if you would like to use one of your own, follow steps 1 and 2 then click on upload a profile picture
5. a window wil lopen allowing you to browse your computer to find an image, click on browse find the picture on your computer.
6. once you have found a picture you like on your computer just click open, then click save.

If you have any problems with it, just let me know and i will help you good luck......

Take Care My Angel (i hope you don't mind me calling you my angel, if you don't like it i will stop.

Jacques

@hiddenite, sure no problem, take your time. please don't worry about being down all the time, i am down most of the time too, every day is a struggle, but we both need support, i am just happy reading your words, good or bad, gives me some reliefe knowing you are safe.

you are so special to me too Angel, i feel so close to you, my heart skipped a beat when i saw your name and realised who you are.

i am sure you did everything you could as did i, it is the joy of an anonymous forum, no way of contacting each other in the real world. Karen you never need to be sorry, i felt your presents even though you could not write to me, you where never too far from my thoughts, even during my most difficult times.

i am so sorry you feel you let me down, you did not, remember you found me. it makes me sad you feel like you let me down. i will never leave your side again either.

you have such a calming effect on me, no one else gives me that feeling. like you really know me. you are a special lady, and i feel blessed to have you be my friend.

Take Care & rest up

Jacques

Hi @hiddenite My Angel,

i am so sorry to hear that you are in such a prediciment, i wonder if you where able to see the owner instead of the real estate agent, or deal with hiim through email?

i am sorry your family is making it hard for you, have you thought about sitting them down and letting the mknow how you feel put down by them, maybe they don't realise they are doing it? maybe tell them you sit in the car everyday because you feel so uncomfortable being at the house? i don't want to cause you any trouble, but maybe talking to them may clear up some problems.

Karen it is your decision, right or wrong, you have to do what is best for you, for your mental health and your happyness.

i am terrified too, i am renovating the entire house after tennants distroyed nerly all of it, i am terrified of making a mistake or going to the hardware store to get supplies but i push myself to do it becasue i think of the finished product and the happyness it will bring when it is all done.

The Place sounds beautiful, very quiet and sounds like you will have no problems with people if it is rural. and near your favourite river, sounds so nice. well my thoughts are with you, don't rush, take your time, you will know in your heart if it is right for you. i will support you no matter what.

it is cold here, just going to lie down with a hot water bottle to get warm. the medication makes me so drowsey.

Karne what did i tell you about using that word to describe yourself, you are a beautiful soul, stong and determined woman, i have been house bound for 14 years, so if you are pathetic i am too. i know how hard this decision must be for you, and i know your thought proccess about being in the car, i feel the same way about my situation. try to think about it another way, if you have a place you can call home than you will not have to be in the car.

i am sorry maybe i am making no sense, what i am trying to say is, try to take a step back and reevaluate what is important in your life, not anyone elses. maybe speak to your doctor about it, see if he thinks it will help you mental wellbeing? worth a try.

Take Care My Angel

Jacques

Hi @hiddenite My Angel,

i am glad you are really thinking this through, yes peoples tasts as to where to live are so varied, i struggle in the country but really enjoy the cities, i suppose it is because i am anonymous and i grew wup in a big city.

i know how family can bring you down, my mothers family at times has absoluty destroyed my self worth too, i have shut them out to protect myself, it works for me as i never had much contact with them anyway.

yes i am sure if you could manage with the renos it would definatly build some self worth and pride, i know it has for me, even though it is not perfect i am still proud of what i have achieved. also Karen it would help with the thoughts, i know if i sit around my mind goes over and over all the terrible things i have done in the past. having something to do gives your mind something else to focus on.

and most importantly it would give you a home, somewhere to go, something that is yours.

yes i am all rested, i hope the day went quick for you and you where not too cold.

Take care my angel, i hope things become clearer tomorrow.

Jacques

@hiddenite

The purchase of a house is a HUGE decision so dont put yourself down for it. I think I can understand it must be doubly triggering for you having had a real estate husband. it has taken a long time for me to get over my computer allergy.

Usually there are enough options that if you are in the market a home will be there for you when you are ready to make the decision.

You might choose to rent first, at a reasonable distance from parents and invest money. That will give you a place to settle a bit with your children and manage an appropriate distance for your family.

It is scary to decide to cut off support and take on a big place .. so dont rush in .. I have been looking at property on line for a few years and even though rural ones can be unique .. they all have different pros and cons .. dont rush in until you are ready.

As I dont have good health and was not sure I would be able to keep driving I decided I had to be walking distance to a supermarket and the property needed minimal maintenance.

Good luck .. divide the steps up .. I lived in a rented flat for 18 months before we moved into house.

Hi @hiddenite My Angel,

sorry i have not written tonight, i am feeling very down, sad and angry, just one of my mood swings, i want to cry but i can't so annoying, i have to control my anger, trying to listen to soothing music, see if that calms me down, sorry Karen, not much help tonight am i.

yes i am wakign up early every morning, but walking has gone to almost 0 i am walking 4-3 days now, losing interest in everything. trying to sleep to make the days go quicker, ok i will stop now.

thank you for writing to me, you are so special

Big hugs too

Jacques