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14th year house bound

14th year house bound

Hi Everyone,

I am new hear, after being removed from other mental health forums for my depressive thoughts i thought i would give this forum a try, this is my story.

I am 33 live with my mother, i am almost compeatly housebound, i leave my house once in the morning for a walk at 6am and maybe once during the week, both times i leave the house fill me with great anxiety, i have no friends, (the last friend i had was in 2001), i have never had a job, never had a girlfriend and never been able to leave my parents side, my father died in 2001 and i have always suffered seperation anxiety the last time i had a night away from home was 1994 for one night (parents had to pick me up at midnight because i was so frantic).

I have spent most of the past 14 years in my room, or the shed, never much out of the yard, no one in my town knows me, people stare and ask each other behind my back if any one knows who i am.

I have only had an income for the past year and spend the previous 7 with no income at all, mum had to use all of her life savings to allow me to live with her and she now has nothing.

I only want to live long enough to care for her in her old age and then i plan to take my own life, i knew from an early age my life would turn out like this, but had no idea how horrible it would be, every day is the same, i often wonder why i keep going, i have very little contact with family (maybe once a year) and i am really struggling to keep going.

Please don't feel distressed about what i am saying, and i am so sorry if i have offended anyone, it is just how i feel.

Their is so much more, but i will leave it at that for the moment, i am shaking and the anxiety is kicking in so thankyou for reading and i will add more later.

Jacques

2719 replies

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In response to: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Sounds like the winter weather has hit us all hard...animals included! Stay warm folks ....and stay strong.

In response to: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Hey @Jacques
can't come up with a posative yet. I'm freezing cold numb. Shaking like a leaf.
Oh by the way a friend of mine was going to tell me how to send an email.
Remember. .......
ok I've got a posative I get to talk to you again. Yay...

yep I'll just keep the dumb blonde questions coming. And you can tell ne when you get sick of helping me.
BTW you had better take those muddy shoes off before you go inside. Or you'll be in BIG trouble.
Karen

In response to: Re: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

@hiddenite, why didn't you take a blanket, i have been out the shed with 3 layers of clothing, and a heater!!!!

Ahhhh yes the email,

Ok first you need to find the email address of the person/business you want to send mail to, go to the companies web site, then their is usually a contact us page, go their, all email addresses have a name in front followed by an @ sign, hen usually a company name eg example@google.com write it down.

next you need to open your email program (usually outlook or mail), you now want to write an email, on the screen their should be a button usually called the following (write, new or +), once you click on that, you will see CC this is where you enter the email address.

next you will need to enter a subject, a subject is basically a quick description of what you are writing about eg (hello, need some help, etc), try not to make it more than 6 words.

Then you need to type in the message, (the big section at the bottom) whatever you want to write.

once you are finished, you click on send (usually top left on the menu at the top). and you have sent an email.

let me know if you have any trouble....

i will never get sick of helping you or others on here, i have revieved so much help myself here, it is the least i can do to contribute.

oh no, can you clean up the foot prints on the carpet, lol

Jacques

In response to: Re: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

@Jacques and @hiddenite ... I'm so happy. .. no... I'm more than happy that you two have caught up with each other again.

the care, love and trust that you guys have in each other is inspiring.

Anyone who reads through the family/community posts will clearly be able to see how powerful peer support is.

maybe it was the Friday Mexican feast!

i hope everyone can be staying warm

Thoughts with everyone and be kind

Matt/wombat boots

In response to: Re: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Hi @WombatBoots

I can't thank you enough for friday you have made my week, it definatly was the friday feast, if you had not got @hiddenite to join in she would never have known i was here.

Thank you so much Matt, you don't know what it means, it just goes to show how food really does bring people together.

Yes i agree once a bond is created in these support groups it is for life. well it is for me anyway, as i have said before, i see you all as my family, you guys are the only ones who really understand what it is like to live like this everyday, no one else can understand, you have to have MI to fully grasp it's impact.

Take Care & be warm

Jacques

In response to: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Hi @Jacques
freeezing...... there is snow on the mountains. Just another day in the car......pathetic. ...

thanks for the tips on email I'll give it a go.

by the way im not cleaning up your mess..... you did it not me......and I'll tell on you anyway....lol

thanks for making me smile you alway know the right things to say.
take care
stay warm
and keep your muddy boots outside!!!!
Karen

In response to: Re: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Hi @hiddenite (My Angel)

Right now before i start, the word "pathetic" is now banned, you an't say it any more, everytime you want to write this word, please replace it with "strong", ok.

yes it is so cold here too, it must be a beautiful sight, the snow, i have only seen snow twice in my life, once i was 3 the other i was 16, it was such a surreal sight to me, so bright, so beautiful.

ok, ok, where is the mop!!!!!

i am glad i put a smile on your face, you give me a continual smile, just knowing you are still fighting.

Take Care my Angel, stay as warm as possible, hey who threw that snow ball?

Jacques

In response to: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Hey Jacques I'm so proud of you I could burst. You have grown so much since we first started talking. (and im not talking about the extras weight) You sound so strong the beautiful, caring people have supported you unconditionally. ) Got myself in such a mess today I ended up having to call suicide line. I dearly wish I could see a way out of this mess.plesse take care my friend I fight another day when I don't want to. But I hold on just so I can talk to you. You make me smile and I rarely do that.thank you karen

In response to: Re: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Dear @hiddenite

Did you know that Beethoven wrote the Pathetique Sonata because he cared about poeple's feelings. I'm with @Jacques pathetic should bebanned .. for just a little while maybe .. I have never believed prohibion worked.

I have a sense of you not having a proper space at home which is why you get out in the car. That is tough to experience when you also have to be in a giving role to your kids. Where you find a sense of sanctuary is important. Homeless mothers are not pathetic .. it is a social tragedy in this day and age .. I experienced stuff like that .. it is not on.

In response to: Re: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Hi @hiddenite (My Angel)

I am happy i make you smile and be proud of me, i have to say you have grown too, i can hear the hurt in your writing, but it is not as powerful as before, it is loosing it's strength, you are winning, we are both struggling we both can't see a way out, but we both keep fighting, I am so proud of you reaching out to the suicide hotline, i know how tough it is for you to talk on the phone.

I feel so honoured to have your presents in my life, i keep holding on for mum, i have several panic attacks a day, it is exhausting, but i really like talking to you, i feel like you really are my big sister. someone i can confide in. someone i can trust, and i don't trust anyone. i am so glad to hear you have a smile on your face, you give me a sense of peacefullness no one else can give me. you are so kind and generious, helping me when you have your own struggles.

Karen i think part of the problem is not having somewhere you can feel safe, some place you can truely call home (not the car), it is no way to live, i was worried about you being on your own, but you are on your own in the car, and you seem to be able to reach out when needed, i wonder if their was some womens center you could contact to help get a place of your own. i think it would make a big difference to your wellbeing. just something to think about. i really want you to be happy, be somewhere you want to be. and feel free.

Take Care Karen, call help if you need it, you know the numbers.

Thinking of you always

Jacques

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