@Crazy_Bug_Lady I am so proud of you for going to see your doctor - I hope that doesn't sound cliché, but I think its a really huge step. I know it might not feel this way, but I can see some that you have some skills and internal resources tomove through this horrible time.
You mentioned that you feel like you're wasting people's time, and that you make everyone's lives difficult. Remember, these are just thoughts - our thinking does not reflect the experiences of other people. By this I mean, just because you think that you're making people's live difficult do not mean that they actually feel this way.
I have a close friend who has struggled with social anxiety for quite some time. I consider myself someone that is blessed to be able to share her company because she finds extremely challenging to make new friends. In my eyes, she is funny, out going, and so understanding and compassionate towards others. Most people that come across her path, I believe, see her in postive light. So I'm always suprised to hear about her internal struggles - she perceives that most people thinks she is weird and awkward, and for this reason she very rarely or pretty much never goes out to social gatherings - it's aways just us two if we hang out, and of course I more than happy with that. My point here is that she perceives situations as very different to how others see it. In her eyes, she's weird and a downer, in my eyes she is wonderful and the stongest and most honest person I know. So please remember @Crazy_Bug_Lady the way that you see yourself, is not how others see you.
I think you bring a lot these Forums. I love your sense of humour and the conversations that you start. You certainly don't make my life difficult.
Be kind to you. Be your best friend.
CB
Sending you some happy and peaceful vibes. 
