My Hospital Stay

@utopia

Hi @utopia

It must be really tough for you living out there in the country - with so few services

There must be advantages being out in all that nature - I would like the nature - but I like the city with the infra-structure - it is easy to get things in Melbourne

On the other hand there is the Suburban Wilderness - that has disadvantages - but we have more choices and we can be more anonymous here

And - it is tough but every day you get through without a drink is a good day - but a hard - a day that has rough edges that really hurt at times

Still thinking about you though

Dec

Oh @utopia - I just read your post. Huge hugs - I wish I could of been there for you. Such a battle you have been through but successfully beating the odds now! Keep going! I know you can and will overcome, you have what it takes and I have absolutely no doubt you will turn your life around. It's been a hard road but I have faith in you, and I can see you now are starting to have that in yourself.

It must be heartbreaking to be separated from you son, but that in time will heal and you will both be closer than ever in the future. Keep that in your mind without doubt. I am glad he is with your mum rather than elsewhere and remains close. This is your time now to heal and reinvent and that you will. It's a time of growth.

I was an alcoholic when quite young. I know that urge to escape from the inner pain and how hard that is to beat. I also know the self destructiveness of it and its relief being only temporary followed by added grief and worsening of depression. I think we get to a stage where we want better for ourselves and to learn better ways of coping. And we also do it for those we love. I got to a stage were it is time to change or go totally under. I felt empty and wanted more and worked on it and still do. It's a life long journey of growth and gets better in time. Never easy but easier and better. You have chosen better for yourself and your son. Feel proud. That takes strength.

I am glad you have support while you are going through this difficult time. Very good to read your depression is better - due to your strength, love and hard work. There's a road ahead but keep going this way and you will discover that the good days will start to outnumber the bad. The best in life lyes before you and through this experience and positive change you will go on to help many others living a more fulfilled life. Trust me. Even if life is never easy it takes on more meaning making it more worthwhile and happier.

One day at a time is the only way. To live in the now and hold onto the good, forget the rest. That is what I am having to do to get through as per usual life is throwing me boulders. I just have to keep busier and busier reinventing more goals to suit my circumstance (I am more limited due to injuries presently).

I will step out tomorrow as 5 days in bed is enough and I don't want to go down.

You will keep getting better my friend. When feeling vulnerable keep away from your triggers as much as possible and people that may trigger. If not avoidable arm yourself with your most cherished values, self value and belief, determination and reasons on the forefront of your mind to keep being strong and the faith that things will get better in time. When it gets really hard call out for help in anyway that you feel inspired to and that help will come. All things pass - keep telling yourself when having a bad day. And then it's moment to moment....holding onto the hope and vision of a better future and refuse to doubt it.

I will definitely keep touch and am always here for you. Lots of love ❤️

P.S. Going to sleep earlier followed by getting up earlier is a good plan. Then planning your day to your limitations. Try not to sit and think...this is my enemy being somewhat bedbound at the moment. Routine is helpful in healing from depression I have found. 🤗xxx