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Something’s not right

All in my head (fake illness))

Unknown userMember04 May 2017, 7:53 am AEST

All in my head (fake illness))

As long as I can remember I've always thought any illness I heard about I had.

At a young age if 7 my first memory I heard about aids and really had zero clue how you got it except if you got it you died. I asked an adult and obviously they aren't ready to have the bees and bird talk with me and they said you would get it from dirty things. So omg I sleept in someone else's bed sheets at a sleep over I must have aids because I don't know how clean they are. I would spend every night crying and saying to myself if I don't vomit in 2 weeks I don't have it. So I spend nights freaking out and crying.

This has trickled to my adult hood. I can not watch one doctor show. Omg they are the worse. I went through a season of Google doctor I made my self so sick with panic I lost 15 kg in two months from being violently ill. Then in my mid teens I started getting the panic attacks and truly believing I was dying.

At the moment my bipolar is stable which means hello anxiety for me. So if I see white powder on the road I run away from it being a forgine item. If I smell something funny I stop breathing as I think it's a toxic gas.

Last night I put out a mini bin fire because it was lit due to a cigarette. Now I'm believing the smoke is toxic and I'm going to be ill with a lung problem in the next week. So I'm now on V and giving myself the rules if I don't cough I'm fine.

Does anyone else suffer from this badly?
Like I know it's stupid I can say that but my pariond side won't budge. I'm really over it. Anyone got healthy ways to get ove it?

32 replies

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In response to: All in my head (fake illness))

outlanderSenior Contributor05 May 2017, 11:59 am AEST

Re: All in my head (fake illness))

What sort of things do you do too keep busy?

In response to: All in my head (fake illness))

Unknown userMember08 May 2017, 6:50 pm AEST

Re: All in my head (fake illness))

Anything you can think off. Cool, clean, draw, run, talk, write, online shop, make business ideas. Anything

In response to: All in my head (fake illness))

outlanderSenior Contributor08 May 2017, 6:53 pm AEST

Re: All in my head (fake illness))

Sounds like a good List
What sort of drawings do you like to do?

In response to: All in my head (fake illness))

Unknown userMember08 May 2017, 7:07 pm AEST

Re: All in my head (fake illness))

I do a lot of tatto style. I love pin ups.

In response to: All in my head (fake illness))

outlanderSenior Contributor08 May 2017, 7:11 pm AEST

Re: All in my head (fake illness))

Oh wow u should post some of your artworks id love to see them

In response to: All in my head (fake illness))

Unknown userMember08 May 2017, 7:15 pm AEST

Re: All in my head (fake illness))

I will have to do that sometime. I

In response to: All in my head (fake illness))

outlanderSenior Contributor08 May 2017, 7:16 pm AEST

Re: All in my head (fake illness))

Yes im looking forward to it 🙂

In response to: All in my head (fake illness))

outlanderSenior Contributor16 May 2017, 7:16 pm AEST

Re: All in my head (fake illness))

hi @Former-Member how have you been going?

In response to: All in my head (fake illness))

Unknown userMember16 May 2017, 9:09 pm AEST

Re: All in my head (fake illness))

Honestly not that great. It's been a very stressful month. I feel myself on edge and at breaking point but I can't stop going. My husband is in bed sick for the week and he dose so much to help me and now I'm doing everything which is freaking me out. I've increased hours at work and increased my social life and I think I was to ambitious. I feel like I've just ran a marathon and trying to catch my breath and I can't. I just can't get that deep breath.

In response to: All in my head (fake illness))

outlanderSenior Contributor16 May 2017, 9:13 pm AEST

Re: All in my head (fake illness))

@Former-Member

Thats not very good
Hopefully your hubby gets well soon

Are you able to maybe just reduce a small amount of time out of your social life or maybe a shift at work?

I know its hard to keep catching your breath when its one thing after the other endlessly but remember you need some time to you as well to just sit and relax

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Aboriginal flag

Torres Strait Islander flag

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SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.